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50 Seattle, WA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 45–54
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 5:00am
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Buddhism, and laughing about it
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Likes dogs and likes cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I don't know about you, but my 40s totally dismantled whatever narratives I'd built around what my life was going to be, thank god.*

So here I was. 40. A married, suburban, organization man with two terrific kids and this daily empty feeling I can't quite put my finger on. I do the same thing over and over again, expect a different result, and forget that that's the definition of insanity. Or modern manhood. Ahem.

And now here I am. 50. Single, urban, entrepreneurial, impassioned, making it up as I go.

The kids are still terrific.

In the years between, I feel like I traded ...

• certainty for feeling awake
• trying to know all the answers for adaptability
• the false security of corporate life for the roller-coaster ride of starting businesses
• fear for resiliency
• adjectives for verbs
• being accepted for choosing**

How about some details, Jeff?

Okay, I am kind of shocked to find myself starting businesses. I'm the English major guy. All I ever wanted to do was hide out in a cabin, scribble scribble scribble, and fling books out to the world every couple years.

Oy, the hubris.

I left the corporate world a few years ago, though, seemingly bound for teaching. (How was YOUR midlife crisis? Mine very nice, thank you.) But, I found out I was actually interested in marketing. Which was weird, because I'm as cynical about marketing as anyone. One thing led to another and I eventually formed a digital agency with a partner.

Since the love of writing persists, I write kids books (four so far). I've probably written the best children's poem about a maggot you'll ever read, so I got that going for me.

I like learning. I change topics quickly and often without warning. I like talking about ideas. I like commitment. I'm irreverent. I'm kind. I'll tell you what I think. I like helping my kids become their best selves. I like to riff. Take walks around Ballard or at Discovery Park. Go to indie films. Powell's. I like to wake up Sunday morning and spend a couple hours reading and drinking coffee. I like talking about work. I'd like to hear about yours. I don't like gardening, but I'll sit and talk while you pull weeds or whatever it is you do out there. Let's us support each other and also call each other on our crap. Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. ... Wait, that's Mary Oliver. ***

Irreverent, kind, fit, smart, wordish, ravenously curious, done-work-on-themselves women who've taken the time to figure out and own their own idea of "success" (and decoupled it from "stuff") are the ones who tend to melt me into molecules.

I've been taking improv classes the past few years and damn it's scary. And revelatory. I get to spend time with a bunch of people being vulnerable, saying "yes, and," and laughing my butt off.

There's a deep sense of "play" in the classes -- in a few different senses of the word. "Delight." "Co-creation." "Looseness."

It's what I'm looking for in a relationship.

Yes, and ...

* Insert the divinity of your choice.

**If you contact me ... thank you. If I don't reply, it's not because I don't think you're amazing or interesting or physically attractive (seriously), it's just that I have a pretty good sense of who I'll click with and ... I'm just so damned busy. Forgive me if I don't reply. Fair is fair, though. If I contact you and you don't reply, I won't take it personally. Probably. Heh.

***Disclaimer: If Mary Oliver ever changes her sexual orientation, tries online dating, and decides she wants to hook up with me, she gets first dibs.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.

Being a dad. I have 50/50 custody with my ex-wife of two fantastic kids.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Writing rhymes about obscure animals. Goofing off with my kids. Empathizing. Riffing. Patience. Persisting. Poems. Helping other people see what's great about themselves.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm kind. Or that I'm irreverent. Or kinda irreverent.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books, lately: Jayne Eyre. Persuasion. Just Kids. Zen Pencils. The Age of Wonder. Impro. Good to Great. Growth Hacker Marketing. Checklist Manifesto. A couple books by psychologist James Hollis. Faves: War and Peace. Gatsby. Mary Oliver. William Stafford. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Pema Chodron.

Movies: Casablanca, of course; It's a Wonderful Life; Kurosawa (though there are a bunch I still haven't seen); American Beauty; Mon Oncle; Keaton; Chaplin; Pixar (especially Cars and Up); Good Will Hunting; a Japanese movie called Departures; another Japanese one called After Life. Gravity. Interstellar. Jodorowsky's Dune. I need to see a lot more Altman and Mike Leigh. And the moment in "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" where Sirius Black says to Harry: "We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are."

Music: Recent likes include Robert Earl Keen, Old Crow, Wailin' Jennys, Hayes Carll, La Luz, Allo Darlin, Fang Island. Enduring likes: Neko. Lucinda. Emmylou. Green Day. Johnny Cash. Shins. Rancid. KEXP. And there's this cello piece from the movie Departures called Okuribito. Ethereal.

In a moment of inspiration (or insanity), I made a playlist entirely out of songs called "Hold On." There are 26 songs, and that's not counting "Hold On Loosely" by .38 Special, "Hold On to Me" by the Cowboy Junkies, and "Hold On, Hold On" by Neko Case. Top 5 "Hold On" songs (in case you're wondering) are by: Tom Waits, Emmylou Harris, Alabama Shakes, Sarah McLachlan, and Green Day.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Expensive writing journals.
Cheap mechanical pencils.
Quad espresso over ice.
Zion National Park.
My kids.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How amazing ordinary-seeming things can be. Then trying to write about them.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Just finishing a bike ride and on my way to an improv show or a movie. Chilling with my kids. To be honest, I may just be reading a book.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The fear of getting hurt doesn't stop me from being authentic.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're happy with who you are. You have a passion, no matter how nascent. You're curious, brave (or brave-ish), authentic, messy sometimes, happy most of the time, and happy to support a partner AND call them on their crap.

It helps if you can be a bit of a goof, too.