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49 Seattle, WA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 44–52
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 8:30pm
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Buddhism, and laughing about it
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Likes dogs and likes cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I don't know about you, but my 40s have been a big revision to the story about what I thought my life was going to be.

Thank god.*

Here's me at 40: A married, suburban, organization man with two terrific kids and this empty feeling I can't quite put my finger on. I do the same thing over and over again, expect a different result, and forget that that's the definition of insanity (maybe it's also the definition of being a modern male).

Me at (almost) 50: Single, urban, entrepreneurial, impassioned, making it up as I go. The kids are still terrific.

In the years between, I feel like I traded certainty for feeling awake, trying to know all the answers for adaptability, the false security of corporate life for the roller-coaster thrill of starting businesses, reaction for action, and being accepted for choosing.**

How about some details, Jeff?

Okay, I am kind of shocked to find myself starting businesses, even these little ones. I'm the English major guy. All I ever wanted to do was hide out in a cabin, scribble scribble scribble, and fling books out to the world every couple years.

Oy, the hubris.

I left the corporate world a few years ago, though, seemingly bound for teaching. (How was YOUR midlife crisis? Mine very nice, thank you.) But, I found out I was actually interested in content marketing. Which was weird, because I'm as cynical about marketing as anyone. One thing led to another and I eventually formed a tiny digital agency with a partner. We also work together on his tech company.

Since the love of writing persists, I write kids books (four so far). I've probably written the best children's poem about a maggot, so I got that going for me. I also have a poetry blog -- I've written a poem a week for the last few years, partly as a writing challenge and partly as a spiritual practice.

Or something.

Some of the poems are clunkers, to be sure, but there are other times where I get little epiphanies that I don't experience any other way. Chop wood, carry water and all that.

I like learning. I change topics quickly and often without warning. I like talking about ideas. I like commitment. I'm irreverent. I'm not mean. I'll tell you what I think. I like helping my kids become their best selves. I like to riff. Take walks around Ballard or at Discovery Park. Go to indie films. Powell's. I like to wake up Sunday morning and spend a couple hours reading and drinking coffee. I like talking about work. I'd like to hear about yours. I don't like gardening, but I'll sit and talk while you pull weeds or whatever it is you do out there. Let's us support each other and also call each other on our crap. Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. ... Wait, that's Mary Oliver. ***

Irreverent, kind, fit, smart, wordish, ravenously curious, done-work-on-themselves women who've taken the time to figure out and own their own idea of "success" (and likely decupled it from "stuff") are the ones who tend to melt me into molecules.

I've been taking improv classes the past few years and damn it's scary. And revelatory. I get to spend time with a bunch of people being vulnerable, saying "yes, and," and laughing my butt off.

There's a deep sense of "play" in the classes -- in a few different senses of the word. "Delight." "Co-creation." "Looseness."

It's what I'm looking for in a relationship.

Yes, and ...

* Insert the divinity of your choice.

**If you contact me ... thank you. If I don't reply, it's not because I don't think you're amazing or interesting or physically attractive (seriously), it's just that I have a pretty good sense of who I'll click with and ... I'm just so damned busy. Forgive me if I don't reply. Fair is fair, though. If I contact you and you don't reply, I won't take it personally. Probably. Heh.

***Disclaimer: If Mary Oliver ever changes her sexual orientation, tries online dating, and decides she wants to hook up with me, she gets first dibs.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.

Being a dad. I have 50/50 custody with my ex-wife of two fantastic kids.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Writing rhymes about obscure animals. Goofing off with my kids. Empathizing. Riffing. Patience.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm kind. Or that I'm irreverent. Or kinda irreverent.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Jeez, where to begin? Lately: "Long Walk to Freedom." "All the Pretty Horses." A couple books by psychologist James Hollis. Faves: War and Peace. Gatsby. Mary Oliver. William Stafford. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Enjoying Pema Chodron's stuff lately. Joseph Campbell.

Movies: Casablanca, of course; It's a Wonderful Life; Kurosawa (though there are a bunch I still haven't seen); American Beauty; Mon Oncle; Keaton; Chaplin; Pixar (especially Cars and Up); a Japanese movie called Departures; another Japanese one called After Life.

Music: Recent likes include First Aid Kit, La Luz, Allo Darlin, and Fang Island. Enduring likes: Neko. Lucinda. Emmylou. Green Day. Johnny Cash. KEXP (though sometimes I turn the dial to 98.9, just to hear something familiar -- you know, like how it is when you need a shake and a burger from Dick's?). And there's this cello piece from the movie Departures called Okuribito. Ethereal.

In a moment of inspiration (or insanity), I made a playlist entirely out of songs called "Hold On." There are 26 songs, and that's not counting "Hold On Loosely" by .38 Special, "Hold On to Me" by the Cowboy Junkies, and "Hold On, Hold On" by Neko Case. Top 5 "Hold On" songs (in case you're wondering) are by: Tom Waits, Emmylou Harris, Alabama Shakes, Sarah McLachlan, and Green Day.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Expensive writing journals.
Cheap mechanical pencils.
Quad espresso over ice.
Zion National Park.
My kids.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How amazing ordinary-seeming things can be. Then trying to write about them.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Just finishing a bike ride and on my way to an improv show or a movie. Chilling with my kids. To be honest, I may just be reading a book.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The fear of getting hurt doesn't stop me from being authentic.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're happy with who you are. You have a passion, no matter how nascent. You're curious, brave (or brave-ish), authentic, messy sometimes, happy most of the time, and happy to support a partner AND call them on their crap.

It helps if you can be a bit of a goof, too.

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