I'm teaching myself to play the guitar. Right now my fingers really hurt. Maybe 6 hours at a time is a little too ambitious. If only I still had my video game callouses. But I shall not be deterred!

Dog people need and give devotion. Cat people need and give respect.

That's what I've found to be the real difference between the two.

If you're just a straight up animal lover of the non-beastiality variety, you're a soft touch. And animals can sense this weakness and exploit it to fill their bellies.

Crazy, nerdy, geeky, dorky, moody, tattooed, pierced, glasses-wearing.

Not all required, but all tasty.

They seemed to have stopped teaching that to people. Sort of like grammar and spelling. Don't get me wrong, I can swear like a champ, but it's not something I do in public because it's crude and I have more self repect than that. The fact that it's in vogue to dress like you're peddling your ass on a corner just confirms that I was born in the wrong era.

'Casual' sounds like an invitation for HIV to me. I don't understand how anyone with any sense of self preservation can be running around, getting crazy with the fluid exchange. But I suppose if one /wants/ to die a long painful death..

I like to say fucked up shit to people just to see how fast they'll run away. Testing the freak tolerance as it were.

I need a new hole in my face. Preferrably two. But places where old people and children frequent tend to frown on hiring people with multiple holes in their face. Dammit all. What I really need is a nice interesting night job that doesn't care what I look like.

Just because some hillbilly lives nearby doesn't mean I want to meet them. Especially if they're match rating is in the 20's or so. What's the point? I get that there are a lot of rejects and dead ends to the gene pool around here, but until I have a bonafide untraceable way to dispose of a mass number of bodies, don't tempt me into a killing spree.

A friend of mine not too long ago, advised me to get a bisexual boy-toy because they tend to be rougher in bed than straight men. Makes sense to me. She's the one with first hand experience and I trust her explicitly.

And then there's the fact that I love men in make-up and if he's willing and partial to women's underwear - oh how delightful.

And a bisexual guy is more likely to be less concerned with being macho to over compensate for repressed homosexuality. Also a plus.

While all piercings are sexy, nothing is quite so tasty as the lip ring. When I see one, I slip into lustful fantasies of tugging on it with my teeth just enough to make him give a gasp of pain. Delicious.