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36 F Los Angeles, CA

My Details

Last Online
Mar 24
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
When drinking
Atheism, and very serious about it
Leo, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type

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My self-summary
When I was ten, my primary hobbies were building dioramas (based on the most thrilling scenes from my favorite books), writing plays for my Barbies, creating bombastic dance routines, drawing pictures of imaginary clothing, and recording songs from the radio (for incredibly low quality mix tapes). Very little has changed. I will always see the potential in an empty shoebox.

I guess you could probably learn more about me here:
What I’m doing with my life
I just moved to LA from Portland, OR for a new job. I'm a dresses buyer for an online retailer. I have the overflowing closet to prove that I am qualified for this job.

If you've seen a girl pedaling a matte black single speed bike while wearing six-inch heels...well, that's me. I'm impractical.

I spend an awful lot of time at The Last Bookstore.

I get excited about frozen yogurt.

I'm also a hardworking, ambitious installation artist. I went to school for painting, and I'm trying to work that back into my routine, too. So if you've got a lead on a good wooden easel, I'm interested...

And in general, I'm spending all of my waking moments collecting stories, learning new skills, and mentally writing sketch comedy.
I’m really good at
Crossword puzzles. 60s-90s music trivia. Spelling. Speed reading. Making fancy pants jello shots. I like to describe them as "artisanal." Because, you know, I came from Portland.
The first things people usually notice about me
Either my enviously thick, long hair OR my oh-so-Brian-Jones outfit.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Paper: Lolita. On the Road (yeah, really). Anything Henry Miller has ever written. Fitzgerald and Salinger. BIOGRAPHIES! Sad sack contemporary fiction. 18th Century French literature. Artsy graphic novels. Right now I'm going through a strange Hemingway phase.

Plastic: Ask me about music, and I will talk for six hours straight. You might get bored. As I type this, I'm listening to the most recent Witchcraft album. In general: 70s-style metal, riot grrl blah blah, 90s hip hop, J.Dilla (and anything related), 60s/70s psychedelia, krautrock, 90s teen angst anthems, Fleetwood Mac, Justin Timberlake, Robyn, and (sigh) I know too much about late 80s/early 90s industrial music. In summary: I'm the annoying sort of person that will listen to the same song 20 times in a row.

Moving: I know very little about film, except for maybe all of the movies that art school denizens love. But I want to learn!

The six things I could never do without
This is a really ridiculous question. In the past, I've been terribly broke and lacking in most things, and I still had a pretty fun time. Hmmmm...I guess I'm going to say that I'm most grateful for my friends, my family, my black cat Moe $$$, my passport, and my ability to laugh at almost anything. Are these things?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Today I spent a decent chunk of time thinking about how totally SHOCKED the world must have been when it first heard The Velvet Underground & Nico in 1967. We are totally jaded about drugs and prostitution now (thanks, rock and roll, Hollywood, Burroughs and Algren), but imagine your grandparents listening to that album.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I REALLY like Law + Order. Like, REALLY REALLY.
Also, I've only done karaoke one time and it was...sigh...a Nine Inch Nails song. I'm still convinced that I killed it.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 30–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Let's be real: I'm pretty and charming. I'm not here because I'm a lonely old spinster. I want to meet individuals outside my own incestuous circle of friends and acquaintances. I'm not interested in expanding my social circle via barflies and ne'er-do-wells.

The first time I ordered shoes from the internet, it seemed like a risky endeavor. What if they didn't fit? What if the color wasn't quite black and was, in fact, navy (the horror)??? What if the box was stolen off my porch before I got home from work? OH THE UNKNOWING!
Ultimately the shoes fit just fine, the leather was the blackest black, and the UPS guy cleverly hid the box behind a chair on my porch. I guess that's how I feel about this whole "meet people on the internet" undertaking. Either the shoes will fit or they won't. These figurative shoes will be hard-working, hilarious to the max, creative, ambitious, attractive, and charming. Odds are high that they will not be sandals.

Please don't message me if you are the sort of wastrel that buys name brand medicine. It's Walitin and Waldryl or nothing, babe.

UPDATE: after a tiny handful of okcupid dates, I'm pretty unimpressed. It's going to take a lot of convincing to make me believe that online dating is a viable means of meeting others.

Please don't message me if:
1. You are allergic to cats. I know it seems to have so much wacky romantic potential, but it's just not going to work. And don't message me about how much you hate cats and that's too bad because I'm so cute, because that's fucking boring.

2. You are an overtexter. That's even more boring.

3. You're not funny.

4. Your messages seem as if they were written by an oversexed tween. Substituting numbers for words was only cool when Prince did it.

5. You don't read books and/or you want to start a musical taste pissing contest.