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25 F Portland, OR

My Details

Last Online
Apr 17
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Trying to quit
Very often
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Cancer, and it’s fun to think about
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and has cats

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My self-summary
First and foremost, I'm a ventriloquist, it's a huge part of my life. If you don't like my dummy we're not going to get along. If he frightens you in a bad way, don't bother. If he frightens you and you like it, that's wonderful. ;)

I'm one of those artsy crazy nerdy chicks that runs around Portland. I smoke and drink too much and love all things offensive. Bad jokes are the best jokes. Rape and dead baby jokes are even better. I think humor is a wonderful way to deal with the morbidity of the world.

At heart I'm still a 15 year old goth girl, just all grown up and clowned up. I can be shy, I can be the life of the party. I'm not entirely consistent and I don't want to be. Life is too short to be one person.
What I’m doing with my life
sex, drugs, and ventriloquism.

Right now I just started working on making a dummy for the first time. I'm basing his appearance off Vincent Price. Slappy's great but he's all trademarked and shit. Plus I love sculpting and making things. It feels like playing God and I can't wait to get to the animation part of the process. I am trying to finish him in time for the ventriloquist convention I'm going to this summer.

I'm constantly putting together costumes. Sewing and crafting while marathoning Netflix is my idea of a good day off.

Also, I take my clothes off for a living. I know, shocking.
I’m really good at
knowing the lyrics to Weird Al, dealing with crazy people because I know what it's like to go insane, and dressing up/acting like Harley Quinn. According to my last boyfriend, he tells people who ask what it was like to date me that it was like dating Harley. Take that as you will.

I'm also pretty decent at clowning and ventriloquism. I'm also a bad-ass artist but I haven't been focusing on drawing for awhile so I'm probably a bit rusty.

My main talent is having no shame and making fun of myself.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I'm a clown. I'm a clown a lot. Everything is covered in a layer of white greasepaint and I kind of love it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I've been reading more comic books lately than anything else, just finished All-Star Superman and Transmetropolitan. I like horror books, The Shining is probably my favorite. Lovecraft is rad as well, and Depraved was amazing, since I like super gross fucked up things with lots of rape and killing in my entertainment. That also goes into movies; I thought Human Centipede 2 was beautiful and I can't wait til part 3, as well as A Serbian Film and Cannibal Holocaust. Zombie movies are also win, along with Vincent Price. I'm a Matt Stone and Trey Parker fangirl, and have seen every episode of South Park, Orgasmo, Cannibal! The Musical, and Baseketball more times than I can count. Troma is great fun. I LOVE Star Trek and Doctor Who. I could talk about Star Trek all damn day. Especially DS9. Quark is my hero. I want to be a Ferengi when I grow up.

Ska, gypsy punk, industrial, crack rock steady, goth, and comedy is what I mostly listen to. I love Weird Al, Jon Lajoie, and a bunch of other random parody/comedy songs. The Dresden Dolls and Night Gaunts are my favorite bands. And The Beatles. If you don't like The Beatles, I don't understand you. Also, I hate dubstep, and for the most part, most electronic music (some exceptions may apply). I know it's all the rage these days, but it makes me want to put catfur in my ears (and not in the good way). I'd much rather listen to The Specials or Nick Cave. I'm also not into metal, at all, which is probably the point where most people will click "back", but I really don't like it. I will always have a spot in my heart for Bauhaus, which is the first band I ever really fell in love with.

I like thai, indian, pizza, mexican, brie on apples (that's what broke my veganism), curry anything, broccoli, tofu, spicy everything, and PBR. I also love a good brew as well. I have a weakness for greasy french fries when I'm drinking. Peanut sauce is my favorite thing in the world. Salmon is amazing, but I'm not big on most meats. I'll try anything once.
The six things I could never do without
1. my e-cig
2. beer
3. food
4. my cat
5. internet
6. my ventriloquist dummy
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Ventriloquism, costumes, how to be more successful paired with why I can't enjoy success.

Also, what the fuck is wrong with most people. What the fuck is wrong with me.
On a typical Friday night I am
Talking to myself.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I used to have an account on Second Life just so I could see the replica of the Enterprise.

Also, I have Asperger's, but that's not really a secret. Just a part of who I am. I'm high functioning but have problems telling faces apart and eye contact sometimes. Most people don't realize that I have it, though it's painfully obvious to me while trying to navigate the world socially.
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi girls
  • Ages 25–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
you have a Cardassian costume and are skilled in interrogation techniques.