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26 Portland, OR Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 28–50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Jan 30
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Trying to quit
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Cancer, and it’s fun to think about
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and has cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
-I ignored this website as I do sometimes and my inbox got full. It was entirely too stressful to deal with so I just deleted everything. Sorry if you messaged me and I didn't get back to you!-

Like all cool kids on the internet, I'm an introvert who enjoys socializing. Don't be surprised if I'm dragging ass after a few nights out in a row. I require a lot of solitary recharge time while I kick myself in a face for all the stupid shit I've said in my life. Anxiety is hilarious.

I'm a bad ventriloquist, an independent contractor, a casual gamer, and a kinky sonofabitch. I'm sure I drink and smoke too much and I have a tendency to ramble about pseudo-philosophy like a first year college student when I'm under the influence. I'm driven, most likely bipolar, and I have a pretty sick sense of humor. Not sick like "good", I mean I'm just pretty offensive and disgusting in general.

I'm a forever optimist. I've had a lifetime of talking myself out of depression and insanity and I'm still here because life is beautiful like a sunset falling on roses over the future of technology like a beacon of hope. Probably the most stable I've been in years. That's not really saying a bunch.

What I'm looking for: It's a tough thing, trying to figure out what you want. But I think I'm looking for a stable intimate relationship, someone I can tell all my secrets to. A partner in crime. Maybe even a partner in business. I'm fiercely independent and can do it alone, as I have for years and years, but to be honest, I'm lonely, and I'm bored of the solitude. I'd like to build something with someone.

I guess, I'm ready to settle down. Dating sucks and I want to find someone I can grow with in some capacity.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I've always got some project going on that I tend to become immersed and obsessed with. It's probably really annoying for those around me. All of my friends have seen me at some point having not slept in days and going insane due to my workload, panicking about deadlines (that I created) and generally being unbearable. But, I get shit done. Huzzah!

I'm pulling a Charlie Day and writing a musical and forcing all of my friends to take part.

I take my clothes off for a living, but not in the way you think I do.

I finally got a bicycle over the summer and I really adore it. The bike-friendly roads have made me fall in love with this town all over again, even though I still kind of suck at it.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being OK at a bunch of unrelated things and throwing them all together, calling it art, and somehow impressing people enough to part with their money.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
my adorable kitty shoes, or my lack of filters.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Comics: Y: The Last Man, All Star Superman, Animal Man, We3, JtHM, I Feel Sick

Books: The Shining, Salem's Lot, Picture of Dorian Gray, Clockwork Orange, Frankenstein are a few favorites. Right now I'm reading Schrodinger's Cat for the first time and I wish I had read it 10 years ago. I also love reference books about a new hobby or skill I want to try.

Movies: Cannibal! The Musical (I'm a Trey Parker/Matt Stone fanatic), Little Shop of Horrors, Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical, Doctor Horrible's Sing Along (might be noticing a trend here...I really love musicals), Cannibal Holocaust, A Serbian Film, Human Centipede 2, Evil Dead trilogy, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Beetlejuice, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, The Forbidden Zone, Tromeo and Juliet, Poultrygiest, Terror Firmer (I'm in love with Lloyd Kaufman).

Shows: Star Trek: DS9 is my favorite of all time, South Park, Archer, Adventure Time, The Cosmos (both the original and the reboot)

Music: Katzenjammer, Cherry Poppin' Daddies, The Specials, Chumbawamba, The Beatles, Night Gaunts, Dresden Dolls, They Might Be Giants, Oingo Boingo, Bauhaus. I love music with a horns section to dance to. Swing, cabaret, and ska make me very happy. But really my tastes all over the place and I don't subscribe to any music "scene".
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. my e-cig
2. wine
3. food
4. my cat
5. internet
6. my puppets
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Ventriloquism, my musical, how to fulfill all of my personal desires by crafting life further into an idealized state. Knowing that I'll never actually achieve that because I'm too damn manic and on edge.

Also, what the fuck is wrong with most people. What the fuck is wrong with me.

are cats becoming goofier-looking with time or is it just me?

why don't I have a coffin in my life?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Talking to myself.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I used to have an account on Second Life just so I could see the replica of the Enterprise.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-you have a Cardassian costume and are skilled in interrogation techniques.

-you have a 12-year-old's sense of humor.

-you actually live in Portland.

-you're not in an open relationship. Looking for monogamy for the first time in a few years. I don't have time/social energy for poly, really.

-you're extremely dominant and open to lifestyle relationships. I've never actually been in one, but I'm starting to think it's what my other relationships were missing. Bonus points if you like being called "Daddy".

-you're an older man. I tend to go for the 40+ crowd. Not exclusively, just a trend.