Love is also the thing that has been most elusive to me. I fall hard, and I am sure that is part of the problem because my intensity is too much for a lot of people. I think people are confused as to why I seem to actually care and think I have ulterior motives for acting the way I do. I am getting better, but still dream of loving with my heart wide open and full throttle. I am less concerned with everlasting, and more concerned with full expression.
Most of my views about love and relationships are unfortunately theoretical and philosophical because I have never been able to develop a long term relationship. I don't really date either, I guess that is why I am here.
I am polyamorous, or at the vary least, I do not believe in monogamy. To me, being polyamorous is not about being able to have sex with whomever you want. It is about developing deep connections with multiple people and not having arbitrary rules that define them. It means being able to explore relationships, sexual or not, in different ways with different people and my partners doing the same. I do not have a particular model in mind, and I am certainly open to being mostly with only one person. But, I am not willing to close the doors to other possibilities. Monogamy seems to me to be more about possession then wanted someone to fully express themselves. To love someone means to want the best for them, even if that means losing them.
Spoiler alert: I am a hopeless romantic.
Also, I like a lot of communication, and I like to express myself often and prefer people who do as well. I like to be reassured verbally and often do the same. And I like to be explicit about things that some people seem to think are silly, particularly when I am first getting to know someone. For example, my housemate was in my room using my computer when I came home one day and she was sort of slipping out of my room with a guilty look on her face and red cheeks. So, I said "hey, just to be perfectly clear, you are welcome to use my computer whenever you want." Even though I had already told her she could use it, I wanted to resolve the rest of her doubt. I like the same type of things in return.