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37 Oakland, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–55
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 7:22am
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly vegan
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Dropped out of university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
It seems strange to say because I cannot for the life of me figure out why everyone doesn't feel this way, but I think love is it. I mean, it is the only thing that really makes life worthwhile. I do not believe there is a 'meaning of life', but there are things that give my life meaning and love is the top of the list. Of course love is a complex thing. It is far more than just a feeling. To me love is mostly a verb. That means to love someone is to complete THEIR list, not mine. Everyone wants to be loved a little differently and to truly love someone is to know what that is and to do it.

Love is also the thing that has been most elusive to me. I fall hard, and I am sure that is part of the problem because my intensity is too much for a lot of people. I think people are confused as to why I seem to actually care and think I have ulterior motives for acting the way I do. I am getting better, but still dream of loving with my heart wide open and full throttle. I am less concerned with everlasting, and more concerned with full expression.

Most of my views about love and relationships are unfortunately theoretical and philosophical because I have never been able to develop a long term relationship. I don't really date either, I guess that is why I am here.

I am polyamorous, or at the vary least, I do not believe in monogamy. To me, being polyamorous is not about being able to have sex with whomever you want. It is about developing deep connections with multiple people and not having arbitrary rules that define them. It means being able to explore relationships, sexual or not, in different ways with different people and my partners doing the same. I do not have a particular model in mind, and I am certainly open to being mostly with only one person. But, I am not willing to close the doors to other possibilities. Monogamy seems to me to be more about possession then wanted someone to fully express themselves. To love someone means to want the best for them, even if that means losing them.

Spoiler alert: I am a hopeless romantic.

Also, I like a lot of communication, and I like to express myself often and prefer people who do as well. I like to be reassured verbally and often do the same. And I like to be explicit about things that some people seem to think are silly, particularly when I am first getting to know someone. For example, my housemate was in my room using my computer when I came home one day and she was sort of slipping out of my room with a guilty look on her face and red cheeks. So, I said "hey, just to be perfectly clear, you are welcome to use my computer whenever you want." Even though I had already told her she could use it, I wanted to resolve the rest of her doubt. I like the same type of things in return.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
fixing cars, working with food not bombs, trying to help, talking to people about polyamory, veganism, feminism, and other politics.

Living by my own rules.

practicing yoga and learning to be more accepting of myself, others, and the world.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening and hearing people.

I can fix anything. At least anything that can be fixed. I also build things. I love working with new materials and trying things I have never tried before.

Being there when the shit hits the fan.

Cooking, i have an amazing talent of scrounging whatever happens to be around and creating something to eat. also, i dumpster a lot. Almost entirely fresh organic produce. So, amazing!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
that i am not wearing any pants.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Ethical Slut, People's history, Endurance, Fear and Loathing,

Love movies, mostly documentaries, or stories that have something to say. Sometimes I like a good action movie, and most comedies are just not funny to me.

Art is the expression of something through a medium. When someone else experiences it, that is when the magic happens. It does not have to be the same, or the intended feeling to be great art, it just has to mean something. Insert art form here ______

I also believe great art is born out of necessity. Great artists have no choice but to make their art. In terms of music, this is anything with real passion whether it is Rise against or Nina Simone. I will occasionally listen to something more poppy because sometimes it is fun to just dance. Country makes me somewhat homicidal.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Music. Friends. Intimacy. Yoga. Sunshine. A challenge. intellectual stimulation.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Intimacy and sex and how to get more of it while being terrified and REALLY bad at flirting.

My role as a cisgendered queer white male.

Getting the fuck out of the U.S.

Activism vs. Criticism

How to be a better friend, lover, cook, mechanic, person.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Lately I have been home reading/cooking/listening to music. Sometimes, at a bar or show.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
A series of traumatic events have left me with a very low sex drive, and all but impotent. I am probably not able to jump into a sexual relationship with anyone, but with a little patience and some intimacy, I promise it will return. My body basically shut me down and it is scary and embarrassing.

This means I RARELY initiate contact out of fear of crossing boundaries or spoiling friendships until clear boundaries have been established. I am trying to learn to be more open, but there is a lot of fear involved. I also do not like people being aggressive with me until we know each other well. Hugs are ALWAYS welcome.

i am an aspiring slut.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to be one of my new friends.

You have vegan recipes to share.

You need someone to fix things. Really, i can fix anything, and fixing stuff for people brings me joy and a sense of accomplishment.

You are looking for a new make-out or cuddle buddy.

You want to cut, color, and/or style my hair and/or do my make-up. Like a dramatic eye or whatever. I will return the favor in anyway desired. BTW, I can do a mean french braid.

You want to have a booze/drug induced adventure with a stranger but dont want to have to worry about them just trying to screw you.

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