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31 Brooklyn, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 26-36
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
6' 2" (1.88m)
Body Type
A little extra
Special Diet
Atheism and it’s important
Dropped out of Post grad
Wants kids
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Pretentious asshole looking for you to impress me, but it won't ever happen if you're trying.

I wanna be charmed

Thoroughly impressed by you sending the first message.

Class-conscious killjoy.

Noam Chomsky politics, Ol Dirty Bastard manners. A high school dropout with a college degree. I'm loving, empathetic, considerate, understanding, and a judgmental asshole that hates the ignorant masses. If I had a billion dollars I'd still be a poor kid. I'm an anarchist with an interest in law. Antitheist Buddhist. Militantly non-monogamous and hopelessly romantic. Abrasive and sensitive(and definitely need to be appreciated for both). I'm pretty simple, and terribly complex. It all makes perfect sense. Also, I like to have dumb fun with smart people. Nice, but not polite. But I don't "contain multitudes".

I don't think there are bad people, only bad societies. I believe people are products of their environment(s) and should be understood as such. This means child molesters, and woman beaters, and white supremacists(It's much harder to say financiers, and republicans).

I have an uncontrollable impulse to go in for the underdog. This may make me sound like a great dude but I assure you it can be a fault.

What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Using my hulking masculinity more, and my brilliance and intellect less, than I want to get by. I climbed out of the depths of poverty and criminality to graduate college with a really good GPA so now I'm obviously using my talents as... a bike courier and doorman.

I work at a bar that functions more or less as the whole of my social life outside of electronic devices. Also, other "odd" jobs. Sometimes really odd.

Questioning my plans to be a lawyer, or at least whether I want to be litigating in a courtroom...with a judge. AJAB
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Revealing too much.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Older white women say I'm very articulate.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I like sociology and criminology books. Ishmael and The Story of B were really important in my formative years, I may have missed a few things in my youth but ultimately think those helped me on the right path. Vonnegut. Emma Goldman and all the classical anarchists. Political and social theory. Sex at Dawn. Mostly I like to start them and never finish them. The Plague. Really hyped on crime/urban ethnographies and (black) armed struggle stuff right now. I might finish Crime and Punishment one day. Can a book you haven't finished be a favorite? Mostly I read about crime,law and punishment.
I love The Wire over and over.

My favorite movies are They Live, The Jerk, Return of the Living Dead, Friday, Bulworth, Twin Peaks.

DIY Hardcore punk and crust is the music of my teenage years. Discharge, Disorder, Chaos UK, Amebix, Axegrinder, Poison Idea, Crucifix, Doom, ENT, Blitz... I still love the old stuff but most of the new stuff doesn't grab me. The shit I follow now is mostly electronic dance music. I'm totally ok with listening to His Hero is Gone, Drake, and Burial in the same day(Oh god I totally sound like the dude that dude that wants to be "eclectic"). There are times when I'll listen to multiple Smiths albums a day, then I won't listen to them at all for awhile(Update: I've quit actively listening to The Smiths. There's no catharsis. It'll make you feel worse.) I think there are some good Velvet Underground and Van Morrison songs that are on albums after their firsts but I won't listen to them because it would destroy my concept of them as perfect artists. Black Sabbath is the best band ever. Heaven and Hell is part of the reason. The first two Das Racist mixtapes were daily shit for a year but maybe this is a better indication of my taste in humor moreso than my taste in music. Right now: Ratking, "Return of the Mack" on repeat. And all that 90s R&B shit I hated when I was a kid. Sexy stuff.

Vegetarian for 16 years. Vegan for 6+ months and still going. I'm about some Indian food, Italian, muthafuckin' Ethiopian but I don't have it enough. As much shit as people talk about east coast Mexican, NYC is where I realized that Mexican food is the best food. I like food. Food tastes good. Tea at study time. Lattes at cram time.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Books, iPhone, Macbook, bike, indignation, worthwhile people.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Short answer: "Politics", ethics, fashion, "art", sex.

The immiseration thesis.

Food, art, the fucked up social and economic order, sexuality. How obnoxious postmodernism is. The prison system. How monogamy is like the other prison system(or maybe supervised probation). Why cute girls like Ayn Rand. Purchasing a dartboard and putting pictures of Ayn Rand and Milton Friedman on it. "Privilege" and perceptions. If it's possible to have an egalitarian society with iPhones. What an alienated society we live in. How to live a meaningful, authentic life practically. How to make it clear that, just because I have a dick and a (filthy) sense of humor I'm not into "dude talk" and sexism. How dudes don't realize how revealing and pathetic dude talk is. Love and understanding.

Recently I've been thinking a lot about the sociology of punishment,the conflation of punishment and accountability, juvenile justice, and education and it's role in creating "deviants" and antagonistic orientations. And New York City. And Brooklyn.

And lately I've been thinking if anyone would believe (my hypersexual ass) me if I said I just want to talk and be friends with people here and if we end up exchanging fluids and exploring bodies then cool.

I'm always thinking about (economic) class.

More often than not I'm thinking about how I'm thinking or reading about something that isn't gonna help me get my immediate needs met.

On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working. Reenabling my online dating accounts to pass time at work.

Wondering if it's possible to have an egalitarian society where iPhones exist.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm really into gender play. Like the kind of gender play where I make you sandwiches and you buy me expensive footwear.

I look at the superficial stuff first.

I recycle jokes and lines.

Changing this to "Things that are private, or things that would offend people, or scare them away".

Manarchist on the outside, manhater on the inside.

I don't keep anything about me private.

I have no filter.

I might have a slight prejudice against rural people.

Oh, I made a Fetlife account out of curiosity a few months ago and never revisited. I found out I'm way more vanilla than I thought.

I try to avoid associating with people that are too fixated on identity.

I've constructed this profile trying to deter certain types of people more than attract certain types of people.

Holy shit, I'm hilarious and rarely serious. You can't tell here.

But really, mid-period AFI. Blood For Blood.

I'm really 6'1 3/4", not 6'2". Sry.

And I have impossibly high (like not within the realm of possibility, unicorn type) standards.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I'm a straight up Marxist in that I think our economic system has a strong determining effect on the rest of our relations. A lot of shit sucks, from the structural to the interpersonal, and I'm acutely aware of these forces and I won't hide my feelings about it as I think I've made clear above but I ultimately think my baseline is positive and hopeful no matter how much circumstances try to fuck that up. I want to spend more time with others who feel the same.

Hesitation and timidity are a huge turnoff for me. Message me talking about a common interest. Know why you're interested in knowing me and articulate it so we can hurry up and get to the part where I show you how full of charm and kindness I am.

You don't say some classist shit in your profile.

You look delicate but are anything but.

You're straight-forward and you appreciate the same in others.


YOU'RE A FEMALE DJ(I know this has the potential to sound toolly).

You like hippie shit for its scientifically proven benefits.

You're slightly fitness-oriented but not at all obsessed.

YOU WANT TO READ COMMON TEXTS AND DISCUSS THEM. I need the reinforcement and refinement that comes with dialectical exchange.

You seek to understand, then be understood, and try to meet people where they're at but you haven't quite perfected it.

You're tryna slum it.

You're a public interest / cause lawyer.

You grew up poor and it's a significant part of who you are, but like, you ain't even a little ashamed of your appreciation for vegan artisanal doughnuts.

You're equal parts hot, slutty, and nerdy.

Total fuccboi for ladies in Fred Perry.

You're down with watching documentaries on my laptop as a first(and second, and third...) date.

You have reverence, rather than disdain, for science and the scientific method.

You're on here to connect with interesting people more so than try to fill a void in your life by dating. You're using this as a way to screen potential friends and we have a high match and friend % and you can identify with some of the things I said here. Your musical, ideological, political, art, and or food preferences are similar and you want to talk about it(especially if you want someone to bombard you with an onslaught of music suggestions) You're ok with the fact that I'm not looking for that type of relationship, and I may just be trying to be social without having to deal with people in real life, and all the disappointment that comes along with interacting with people in real life. You think you're cool enough that I wouldn't be disappointed in real life.

You're Karley Slutever. I couldn't long-term date you but I think we could enrich each other's lives.

I used to have what pretty much looked like a GF application here. It made me look like a snobby pretentious asshole that was totally full of myself. Instead I'll just say that I'm a snobby pretentious asshole that's full of myself.

But really, don't message me if your politics aren't FAAAAR to the left.

You're post-angst, but NOT a PoMo.

You're not still angry at / rebelling against your father.

If you made it this far and want to spend a weekend showing me your city, and your city has a Chinatown bus.

You want to drink lemonade on a stoop, or in a park. Or eat a pineapple. Let's get tropical on a budget.

You spend more time in books than bars.

You don't hang out at the bar I work at.

You wanna go on a first date here:

You "check your privilege" but aren't eager to use obnoxious catchphrases like "check your privilege". Update: I've decided I'm pretty against "privilege" language. Please be mindful of the relative benefits you receive based on your membership in certain groups.

If you're a radical leftist that answered "universal" to the morality question and you're firmly on the side of Chomsky in the Chomsky-Foucault debate please just send me your ring size.

You switch.

CMD+F "Foodie" not found
CMD+F "Social Entrepreneur" not found
CMD+F "Entrepreneur" not found
CMD+F "Start-up" not found
CMD+F "Maker" not found
CMD+F "Creative" not found
CMD+F "Ambitious" not found
CMD+F "Crossfit" not found
CMD+F "Success" not found
CMD+F "Bacon" not found
CMD+F "Burger" not found

This makes you feel like you're not alone in the world

And if you're a skinny, model-hot, fashionable far-leftist intellectual/academic, social science/law type with confidence and high self-esteem and the ability to let yourself be vulnerable that smiles a lot and can do it alone but would totally prefer to do it with a devoted partner and you want a slightly above-average height, slightly above-average dick-sized hairball to appreciate for his feminine qualities just go ahead and send your ring size. Tall/not tall, glasses/no glasses encouraged to apply.

I'm not sex-starved. I'd rather get messages that kept this in mind. Talk to me like the whole person you'd like to be treated like. I'm not as big of an asshole as this profile would have you think. I've definitely been called an asshole before though. Maybe deservedly on occasion. Sup?