Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I used to think that guys who place ads on the Internet are
hunchbacked midgets who haven't had a date since Michael Jackson
was actually black! But a lot of my friends have met some great
people this way, so I thought I would give it a shot.
OK, so here are the Cliff Notes to my autobiography. If you're a
"Friends" fan, you might say I have the sense of humor of Chandler
mixed with the nerdy err... intellectual side of Ross. Then again,
I also crave most meat products like Joey.
I grew up in Bethesda, but I bought a house in Tysons a little
while ago. I may be getting old, but I make sure I take plenty of
Centrum Silver before I go dancing so that nothing goes wrong with
my hip. I finished my master's at George Washington, and I have my
own business, teach adult classes at night, and worked on the 2012
presidential campaign. I even have baseball season tickets.
I also have to confess an obsession with politics, chocolate,
"Family Guy," Last Week Tonight/The Daily Show (really miss The
Colbert Report), "Saved by the Bell" reruns, Adam Sandler movies
(well, everything before Little Nicky) and all things ESPN. Along
those lines, I should mention that I consider the Dallas Cowboys,
the New York Yankees, and the Duke Blue Devils the true Axis of
Ultimately, I would love to meet a woman who can be my best friend
as well as my lover and who will make me an even better person for
having known her. But (and I mean this sincerely) I am also
perfectly happy making new friends--especially if they play tennis.
I might just even know an eligible bachelor or two you might
Thanks for checking out my profile, and if you'd like to get to
know me a little better--or if you also believe that Red Velvet
Oreos are further proof that America remains an engine of
innovation--feel free to say hi!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
That's in the self-summary.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making people laugh. Usually with me.
I am also probably the best you will ever know at capitalizing on
"That's what SHE said" opportunities.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am a take-charge kind of guy, and apparently I have eyelashes
that would enable me to take flight in a tornado. My lips will make
you think I should have a shrimping company named after me.
Many are also intrigued by my apparently ambiguous ethnicity.
People routinely approach me on the street in their native
languages expecting me to understand. It's like I'm the CEO of
I have also been told more than once that I am a lot more muscular
than I appear in my pictures. So either my shirts are way too tight
in real life, or in my pictures I look like Angelina Jolie should
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
OK, this one is way too Cosmo "Hook Him Now" Issue for my taste.
Surely we can come up with something a little less boilerplate.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Now I think you're just phoning it in, OKCupid.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
...how to make myself better and how to make an impact.
Whether Helena Bonham Carter feels confused when she makes a movie
without Johnny Depp.
If Dick Cheney has managed to live this long by creating multiple
If anyone has ever participated in just one shenanigan.
Why Captain America has never been promoted. I mean the guy has
only saved the world like a hundred times.
Why people freak out about the NSA keeping tabs on them but have no
qualms about watching the Panda Cam for hours
Oh and when Mix-A-Lot was knighted by Her Majesty The Queen.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
...shaking my booty. And perhaps grabbing somebody sexy and telling
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I own all the Saved by the Bell DVDs. If you ever get my E-mail
address, you will get a sense of just how much I love Saved by the
I strongly considered using The Golden Girls instead of Friends in
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...you think I am interesting on a web page and want to get to know
some actual substance. Or if you are just horny.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.