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referencejoke

34 Oakland, CA Woman

Woman

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 30–42
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 10:05pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aries, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Education
Income
Rather not say
Status
Single
Type
Non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I like to read and I like to run--these are things about me that have been true for as long as I can remember, so it seems fair to start here. In fact, my ideal partner is someone with whom I can go running occasionally, and later sit in the same room reading. We don't have to be reading the same thing. Just feeling comfortable enough with each other that we don't feel pressured to be "on" every second that we're together is important to me. We don't have to constantly try and impress each other. (Well, maybe sometimes we could try and impress each other.)

I like to play games with friends (card games, board games, lawn games). I ride my bike everywhere because I don't have a car and I never got a driver's license. I'm allergic to eggplant and kiwi. When I was four, I really thought I'd go down the bathtub drain if I didn't get out before pulling the plug. I don't mind public speaking. My favorite letters of the alphabet are Z, X, V, Q, and J, in that order.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a first-grade teacher and I love my job. It's time-consuming, challenging work, though, so I try to balance it out with free-time activities like hiking, running (!!!), cooking, and bicycling. I also like dining with friends, listening to music, and yoga. These are just a few things I could think of off the top of my head.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Analogies, making people laugh, trying to do all the things, sometimes successfully doing all the things, napping (seriously, some people can't nap, those poor bastards!), running up hills, public speaking, cooking tasty things, listening, being a wiseass.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm usually pretty quiet when people first meet me, which makes it easy for me to sucker-punch them with my razor-sharp wit. Also, I have a real nice derriere.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The loooooooooooooooong section. I won't be offended if you skim. (But, you know, if you send me a message and only say, "Haha, ur so rite. I totes didnt read the long section," it's going to be really hard for me to pick up the conversation from there.)

(some incomplete lists)

Authors: Chuck Palahniuk, Irvine Welsh, Christopher Moore, Vonnegut, Vendela Vida. I was a lit major in college, so I know a little bit about literature and tend to lean toward early-to-mid-century American literature. I love/hate James Joyce. I love/love J.D. Salinger, John Steinbeck, and other writers who are economical but not stingy with words. I feel the way you would expect me to feel about Hemingway, given that I am a former lit major with feminist tendencies. Dorothy Parker! I also like reading nonfiction-y things that bring out my not-so-inner geek. I love going to my local bookstores and browsing the display tables at the front for things that look interesting and somewhat informative. Examples: The Murder of Napoleon (one of my all-time favorites), Girl Sleuth, and Coming of Age on Zoloft. During the school year, it's hard for me to find the time to read very lengthy things that aren't work-related, so I tend to stick to well-executed essays and short stories.

Movies: I can't really come up with a list that accurately reflects my super-awesome taste in everything, so off the top of my head, here are a few movies that I really like and which, objectively speaking, probably don't suck--The Usual Suspects, Heathers, Bring It On, Secretary, An Education, Rear Window, Tangled, the Virgin Suicides, Charade, Ocean's Eleven. The Graduate is probably my favorite movie. I like a good movie, but the way to my heart probably isn't in referencing a movie I've mentioned here. In fact, here is an example of a conversation I have all the time:

Some person: Hey, have you seen [name of movie]? It's the best movie evererereerrrrrrrrr.
Me: No, I haven't seen it.
Some person: OH MY GOD, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? LET'S WATCH IT RIGHT NOW, AND I WILL ENHANCE YOUR MOVIE-WATCHING EXPERIENCE BY ADDING MY OWN NARRATIVE, AND TELLING YOU WHEN AN AWESOME THING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN SO YOU EXPERIENCE IT IN EXACTLY THE WAY I WANT YOU TO!!!
Me: Can I just go outside and play?

TV shows I tend to watch lately: True Blood, Weeds (though I kind of lost interest about a season or so ago), Bob's Burgers, Buffy, Firefly, Arrested Development, Community, Parks & Recreation, the Daily Show. I watch some TERRIBLE sitcoms for some reason. I'm too ashamed to admit it most of the time but man, I can sit through some godawful TV. This and the fact that I can really geek out about TV tropes probably means I watch too much TV. I'm trying not to. That should be my "Most Private Thing You'd Make Public" or whatever, but that section annoys me.

Music (an incomplete list in no specific order):
Andrew Bird, Rainer Maria, Arcade Fire, Viva Voce, Belle & Sebastian, Phoenix, Neutral Milk Hotel, Grandaddy, Elliot Smith, Air, Alan Parsons Project, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Animals/Eric Burdon, Chicago, Talking Heads/David Byrne, Dreamdate, ELO, Thom Yorke/Radiohead, April March, Morrissey/The Smiths, Garbage, Jenny Lewis/Rilo Kiley, Johnny Cash, Kate Nash, Kimya Dawson, M.I.A., the Kinks, Ladytron, the Pixies, Quasi, REM, Shakira, Sleater-Kinney, Siouxsie, the Ventures, Weezer, the Who, Yo La Tengo, Tori Amos, Regina Spektor, the Zombies, Dick Dale, that band my friend is in, that band someone my friend knows is in, soundtracks from movies that were probably made so there could be a soundtrack, any show I don't have to pay for, decent subway musicians, the song that's currently stuck in my head, and that mixtape you'll make me.

Food: I'm mostly a label-reading, arugula-chomping, superfood-embracing crunchy hippie about food, but I still love cupcakes and bacon. I can definitely cook, and do so as much as I can.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
- Books & music
- Sunshine & exercise
- Family & friends
- Coffee & tea
- Ampersands & bullet points
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How brains work. Doing the right thing. The most efficient bike routes. Ways to make people laugh. Food. Sex.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Sometimes recuperating, sometimes seeking out low-key social things. Definitely unwinding somehow.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Thirty seconds ago, I had to look up how to spell "derriere," and then I had to look it up again to write this sentence.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I like having active people and good conversationalists in my life. And you know how when some men say, "I want a woman with a good sense of humor," what they REALLY mean is, "I want a woman who will laugh at my jokes, whether or not they are funny"? Well, I want that. Laugh at my jokes. All of them. Even the stupid ones. You should also message me if you have something to say to me and you think we have something in common that would allow us to enjoy each other's company for the length of a drink or a cup of coffee.