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referencejoke

33 F Oakland, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aries, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Education
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
This is placeholder text. I'm sick of everything I've ever written in this little box and I'm hoping there's enough information in the other little boxes that you'll forgive me. Perhaps you can suggest some Mad Libs-style sentence frames to get me started. (I am a [jiggly] [rhinoceros] with [squishy] [balls].) Until then, keep checking back for updates. Content available soon. Under Construction! Cue flashing gifs.

*-Thanks for the tip on the correct spelling of rhinoceros. You know who you are. Those of you who noticed and didn't tell me (but maybe felt a little secretly superior about it)--shame on you!
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a first-grade teacher and I love my job. It's time-consuming, challenging work, though, so I try to balance it out with free-time activities like hiking, running (!!!), cooking, and bicycling. I also like dining with friends, listening to music, and yoga. These are just a few things I could think of off the top of my head.
I’m really good at
Analogies, making people laugh, trying to do all the things, sometimes successfully doing all the things, napping (seriously, some people can't nap, those poor bastards!), running up hills, public speaking, cooking tasty things, listening, being a wiseass.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm usually pretty quiet when people first meet me, which makes it easy for me to sucker-punch them with my razor-sharp wit. Also, I have a real nice derriere.

Oh! And it occurs to me that someone reading this might think that I'm one firecracker of a woman, the kind that is EXHAUSTING to be around. I'm not. For all that I have going on in my head and in my life, I come across as amazingly calm--or so I'm told.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
(some incomplete lists)

Authors: Chuck Palahniuk, Irvine Welsh, Christopher Moore, Vonnegut, Vendela Vida. I was a lit major in college, so I know a little bit about literature and tend to lean toward early-to-mid-century American literature. I love/hate James Joyce. I love/love J.D. Salinger, John Steinbeck, and other writers who are economical but not stingy with words. I feel the way you would expect me to feel about Hemingway, given that I am a former lit major with feminist tendencies. Dorothy Parker! I also like reading nonfiction-y things that bring out my not-so-inner geek. I love going to my local bookstores and browsing the display tables at the front for things that look interesting and somewhat informative. Examples: The Murder of Napoleon (one of my all-time favorites), Girl Sleuth, and Coming of Age on Zoloft. During the school year, it's hard for me to find the time to read very lengthy things that aren't work-related, so I tend to stick to well-executed essays and short stories. Currently burning through Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls and Allie Brosh's book.

Movies: I can't really come up with a list that accurately reflects my super-awesome taste in everything, so off the top of my head, here are a few movies that I really like and which, objectively speaking, probably don't suck--The Usual Suspects, Heathers, Bring It On, Secretary, An Education, Rear Window, Tangled, the Virgin Suicides, Charade, Ocean's Eleven. The Graduate is probably my favorite movie. I like a good movie, but the way to my heart probably isn't in referencing a movie I've mentioned here. In fact, here is an example of a conversation I have all the time:

Some person: Hey, have you seen [name of movie]? It's the best movie evererereerrrrrrrrr.
Me: No, I haven't seen it.
Some person: OH MY GOD, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? LET'S WATCH IT RIGHT NOW, AND I WILL ENHANCE YOUR MOVIE-WATCHING EXPERIENCE BY ADDING MY OWN NARRATIVE, AND TELLING YOU WHEN AN AWESOME THING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN SO YOU EXPERIENCE IT IN EXACTLY THE WAY I WANT YOU TO!!!
Me: Can I just go outside and play?

TV shows I tend to watch lately: True Blood, Weeds (though I kind of lost interest about a season or so ago), Bob's Burgers, Buffy, Firefly, Arrested Development, Community, Parks & Recreation, the Daily Show. I watch some TERRIBLE sitcoms for some reason. I'm too ashamed to admit it most of the time but man, I can sit through some godawful TV. This and the fact that I can really geek out about TV tropes probably means I watch too much TV. I'm trying not to. That should be my "Most Private Thing You'd Make Public" or whatever, but that section annoys me.

Music (an incomplete list in no specific order):
Andrew Bird, Rainer Maria, Arcade Fire, Viva Voce, Belle & Sebastian, Phoenix, Neutral Milk Hotel, Grandaddy, Elliot Smith, Air, Alan Parsons Project, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Animals/Eric Burdon, Chicago, Talking Heads/David Byrne, Dreamdate, ELO, Thom Yorke/Radiohead, April March, Morrissey/The Smiths, Garbage, Jenny Lewis/Rilo Kiley, Johnny Cash, Kate Nash, Kimya Dawson, M.I.A., the Kinks, Ladytron, the Pixies, Quasi, REM, Shakira, Sleater-Kinney, Siouxsie, the Ventures, Weezer, the Who, Yo La Tengo, Tori Amos, Regina Spektor, the Zombies, Dick Dale, that band my friend is in, that band someone my friend knows is in, soundtracks from movies that were probably made so there could be a soundtrack, any show I don't have to pay for, decent subway musicians, the song that's currently stuck in my head, and that mixtape you'll make me.

Food: I'm mostly a label-reading, arugula-chomping, superfood-embracing crunchy hippie about food, but I still love cupcakes and bacon. I can definitely cook, and do so as much as I can.
The six things I could never do without
- Books & music
- Sunshine & exercise
- Family & friends
- Coffee & tea
- Ampersands & bullet points
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How brains work. Doing the right thing. The most efficient bike routes. Ways to make people laugh. Food. Sex.
On a typical Friday night I am
Sometimes recuperating, sometimes seeking out low-key social things. Definitely unwinding somehow.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Thirty seconds ago, I had to look up how to spell "derriere," and then I had to look it up again to write this sentence.
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi girls
  • Ages 30–42
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You think we'd get along and you'd like to find out for sure.

Our match percentage > 90%.

You're okay with nonmonogamy and are prepared for the open and honest communication that makes it work.

You're funny. I like funny people.

You like to play games. Board games, not head games.

You'd like to go for a run sometime.

You're sitting here thinking that you like what you see but you can't think of something to say that will guarantee a response. I'm not going to lie--I'm not great at OkCorrespondence. But you're far more likely to get a response if you do send me a message than if you don't.