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28 Ballwin, MO Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 23-29
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 7:09am
6' 1" (1.85m)
Body Type
Atheism but it’s not important
Working on University
Wants kids
English (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
WARNING. This profile is long and ridiculous.

MATT THOUGHTS: so many women mention the Oxford comma on here. I'm totally going to use it only SOMETIMES just to mess with those of you who are window-shopping my profile.

I'm Matt. I like to spend my free time reading my shiny new DSM-5. That's the newest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Of Mental Disorders for those of you not in the know. That's that heat. Dave Grohl could probably play my stunt double....IF I didn't already do all of those myself. I'm super easy to talk to, and I barely know the meaning of the word offended. I like to drive with the top down. I like to sing along to the music, and watch people laugh at me at stoplights. I'm not very graceful, so it's common. I like emotion. I like empathizing. I like experiencing. I like e-words.

I'm into all sorts of stuff, including, but not limited to baseball, high fives, and various types of cheese. I speak in poorly performed accents out of nowhere without meaning to. I love to understand people on the inside, and what makes them do the things they do on the outside. I try to be healthy as much as possible, because being overweight sure is overrated. I love a good conversation, whether it be intellectual or stupid. I'm especially talented at stupid.

QuikTrip has a home-like feel to it for me. I get objectified for my sexy sensitive-side and not-too-strong-yet-salient vulnerability. I would make a seriously good voice actor for a macho soldier character in a video game. I pop huge for lame jokes, kittens, and cute head accessories (this isn't about erections or zits).

The word 'fuck' is much more fun when spelled with a q. I'll debate characters and episodes any day. Paragraphs with structure are jealous of my stream-of-consciousness flow. I'm pretty good with communication and understanding. People tell me I know things and give good insight. I want to go so many places in the world. Let's go.

According to the thing, I look 40, so I've got that going for me, which is nice
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
+ Working on a Bachelors of Psychology. I aim to be a therapist eventually, and I hope to specialize in either relationships or sex. That means graduate degree.

+ Losing weight. Somebody's gotta do it.

+ One time, I drank too much Nyquil whilst sick and in my nyhaze wrote a bunch of profanities on the bottle because I hated the taste so much.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Having soft hair.
Understanding people.
Listening and inquiring.
Embarrassingly bad dance moves. (see photos)
Falling over while laughing or surprised.
Braining and doing words.
Directions and navigating. (Looking back on this addition to my profile, it's probably the sexiest of the "I'm good at's")

Getting there at:

Lifting weights.
Healthy habits.

I'm not so good at:

Spin moves.
Listening to music quietly.
Staying awake.
Containing my sick flow.

I'd like to learn:

The skills of a craftsman.
How to build a guitar.
What the fuck BitCoins are and how they make any sense whatsoever.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Some guy asked me if I live in my mother's basement the other day, so I guess that I look like a failure.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I have Game of Thrones and a DSM-5. Also a book about dreams, binge eating, and emotional intelligence. NERD

Movies: "My favorite movie is books"

American Beauty, The Departed, The Empire Strikes Back, Collateral, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Dark Knight Trilogy. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. Lord of the Rings. Aladdin. A bunch of others. I like movies where the actors aren't the only thing telling the story.

EDIT: Hahaha, I just realized I had TMNT on here. Better leave it out of respect to my younger self. You can't deny the amazingness of a little baby turtle excitedly exclaiming "RADICAL RADICAL RADICAL!"

Amazing TV Shows: 24. Battlestar Galactica. Lost. Futurama. Louie. Community. The Office. Seinfeld. The League. Homeland. Friends. Scrubs. Parks and Recreation. Sons of Anarchy. Breaking Bad.Workaholics. Game Of Thrones.
Arrested Development. The Walking Dead.

I've been known to like some real lame shit too. Pretty Little Liars anyone? At least the first two seasons. Hold me down ladies! Also wrestling. Judge me all you want you son-a-ma guns.

Music: Coheed and Cambria is very important to me, as is the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Minus the Bear, Lupe Fiasco, Audioslave, The Strokes, Julian Casablancas, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Offspring, Them Crooked Vultures, The Mars Volta, Jay-Z, Nico Vega, Alien Ant Farm, 311, The Black Keys, Eminem, Foo Fighters, The Fratellis, Jimmy Eat World, Porcupine Tree, Queens of the Stone Age, and lots o' others. Show me new music! Ask me for suggestions! Music is life.

I've just recently begun collection of vinyl records, and holy crap is it fun. I don't have a lot of variety, or even a record player. I like to hold the records before I go to bed. Cuddle time.

Food: Lately, a crap ton of chicken, turkey, green veggies, and other boring shit like that. I wish I could eat endless bowls of chili. That'd be idealer than teal.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
In an order to be determined at a later time

Iced Tea, Unsweetened- Tha flava. If I find a girl who likes it as much as me, she's going to be my wife.

the internet- Don't get it twisted. I like the internet. (DISCLOSURE: I don't know what you'd get twisted-- I just wanted to say it)

sexuality- Such an engrossing topic. It will never cease to fascinate me.

frisson- Get familiar! Such an incredible experience every time. GOOSEBUMPS.

music- I like to listen to it kinda.

friends- El Generico answer.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The wondrous intricacies of rock music and it's effect on my emotions. If it's a hip hop song, the lyrical genius I'm inevitably experiencing. GOD I SOUND LIKE AN ASS

Emotions in general. I love to understand people below the surface.

Sexuality; most especially how to further positivity towards women's sexualities.

I believe every single person in the world has a unique superpower, and that it's either extremely mundane, or we haven't discovered how to access it yet.

How to maximize my time spent awake.

The tattoo I'm going to get next.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I do a lot of whatever feels good at the time. Netflix and games with the roomie, out with friends in Maplewood: whatever.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
So this one time, I was watching Lingo with a former girlfriend. The word on screen was DOING. I was baffled. "WHAT THE HELL IS DOING?" I said loudly, almost angrily. I knew that doing (rhymes with boing) was for sure not a word. She looked over at me, and uttered with catastrophic levels of pity, "...Matt...doing. Do. Ing."

My dumbest moment, proudly on display.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you are witty. Witty = charming.

If you're a little outside the box.

If you're awesome at communicating.

If you wanna watch TV together and then maybe go hike a trail afterwards.

If you think you can kick my ass at any sort of competitive thing.

If you like conversations, and having them.

But really idk, if you're cool and you don't steal from old people or other nefarious shit, get at me