I'm a descriptivist pedant, communicative, gentle by preference, and more smart than clever. I enjoy well-picked words, ready smiles, healthy boundaries, and people who are also into those things. You could call me a sociable introvert; being around a lot of strangers drains me, but so does being alone. I recharge in small groups of close friends.

I'm a geek in the "curiosity and technical aptitude" sense but not really in the "gaming and sci-fi" sense (and "oh my god you have to watch _____" is a huge turnoff, no matter what's in the blank). If you invite me to, I will talk your ear off about language and linguistics; I wanna hear about the thing you're equally excited about too, if you can explain it from the ground level.

I use this browser script to make the OKC header data  queer / genderqueer / polyamorous-friendly, because I am those things. "Queer" for me means "all genders invited to apply," and "genderqueer" for me means "neither male- nor female-identifying." The poly part isn't necessarily set in stone; all else being equal, I'd prefer it, but all else is never equal.

Working too much while plotting a course to what I'd rather be doing.

Staying calm. Teaching. Learning. Appreciating silly things, and also mundane ones. Trying something new. Going with the flow. Understanding rules well enough to know when to break them. Taking care of people. Writing lists. Tetris, or at least I used to be; it's been a while.

I want to get better at
Making music. Meditating. Finding and connecting with the sort of people that are easy for me to talk to. Trading time and skill for money. Keeping my fool mouth shut. Spontaneous creativity. Code design.

I suspect I come off as higher-energy than I actually am, because I talk fast (especially when I'm excited about something). I'm actually pretty relaxed and a bit lazy.

I don't really have strong opinions about any of these things, which is probably more useful matching information than any specific preferences I could list. That's not to say I don't enjoy them--I enjoy all of them, sometimes!--but none of them take up a lot of my attention or feel worth mentioning in a self-description.

Six things I'm unhappy when I do without for a while
Physical maintenance: food, water, rest, etc.
Affectionate words and touch.
Busy time (work, school, chores).
Free time (vegging, playing games, socializing).
Transportation.
Internet access, which is a cheating way to say "communication, things to read, and a way to write stuff down" all at once.

The people who are nearby, and the people I care about who aren't nearby. Language and meaning; how to actually communicate well. Needs and gut feelings. Identity, privilege, and bias. How I would like my life to be arranged, and how to get there from here.

Probably screwing around on the internet, maybe also making dinner or doing laundry or some such. I'm not really the "go out and get rowdy every weekend" type. I do likes me some occasional rowdiness, but an ideal typical Friday night for me would probably involve between one and three close friends, someone's living room, good wine, good music, and good conversation.

I'm kinky. You don't have to be, but if you are or think you might be, we could talk about it.

You think I sound like good people, and you're also good people. Please include some indication that you noticed the part about how I'm genderqueer, even if it's "I don't really understand this, please explain." It's important to me to know that's been heard.

I care less about age than compatibility; the one is just a very broad heuristic for the other.

What I would really like at the moment is a relationship which is deliberate. That doesn't necessarily mean deep or long-lasting, just something we actively put time and energy into because we want to. I'm also new in town and would be happy for more nonromantic connections, so friendly invitations of that sort are also welcome.