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29 Portland, OR Agender


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 25-39
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Nov 10
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
5' 8" (1.73m)
Body Type
Full figured
Atheism and laughing about it
Working on University
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Friendly, geeky, honest, thoughtful, down-to-earth. I like people and feelings, and also computers and analysis, and other people who are good at bridging the supposed gap between those. I'm good at taking the lead when I need to, and delighted when I don't need to. I like to be playful with people who enjoy it. I'm mostly on top of my shit and getting better at it every day.

I'm agender (afab, pronoun singular they). If you're confused about this bit it's okay to ask me friendly questions about it. Most of my dating history is straight dudes, most of the rest is other genderqueer folks.

I've had both monogamous and nonmonogamous relationships, and don't feel strongly about which one my next one is. It's more important to me that it be intentional and enthusiastic and affectionate.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a PSU undergrad--Applied Linguistics major, Computer Science minor. Yes, this is my first degree. I'm pretty damn smart but formal education and I have a rocky history. I spent a lot of time expecting I wouldn't ever go to college, and having gotten here I'm pretty stubborn about seeing it through.

I also work at this awesome place. I should warn you that I literally get paid to be (genuinely) enthusiastic about my job, and if you invite me to I will talk your ear off.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Learning languages. Choosing words. Hugs. Tetris. Writing code, by amateur standards. Abrupt first messages.

I'm bad at remembering things if I don't write them down, but good at writing them down (as long as I do it immediately).
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I smile a lot, talk too fast, and have a dozen visible piercings. (I have to stop and count every time though.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I don't really make time to watch things. There are a few shows I wouldn't mind being caught up on, but at any given moment I'd rather do something else. (I'm too distractible to watch stuff while doing other things.) I tend to not expect to want to watch a movie and then like it once I've seen it, so I don't have a good sense of what categories I like.

I've been on a huge reading kick this summer, inspired by Reading Lolita in Tehran and my newfound free time. Lots of Austen, lots of Nabokov, and in general lots of the kinds of thing one feels like one should have read but hasn't yet. Books I read longer ago that influenced how I think: My Ishmael, Totto-Chan, and Nonviolent Communication.

Most of the music I like is lyrical and upbeat. If you noticed that describes pop, rap, rock, and bluegrass equally accurately: exactly. A strong bassline (or bass voice) will also win me over. I don't sing in the shower, but I do sing while waiting for buses or packing up to leave a class. Also at choir rehearsals/performances, of course.

I spend most of my time on campus and eat a lot of cart food. Burritos, pad thai, bento, bagels. I'm not a vegetarian but am usually happy to eat like one.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Bio needs: sleep, water, food. Not just because of not dying; I feel emotionally shitty when I don't prioritize these enough.
2. People who know me well.
3. A way to get around. Not having a vehicle or transit pass blows.
4. Writing/drawing materials.
5. Something productive to do.
6. Expressive affection, both giving and receiving.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
People and relationships. Words. Thinking itself. The algorithms by which people choose seats on partly-full buses. (Look, I spend a lot of time on buses.)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working, briefly, and then hanging around at work bullshitting with my friends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
OKCupid has been way more useful to me as a tool for paying attention to who I am and how I've changed (by virtue of keeping a profile up to date) than one for meeting people, romantic partners or otherwise. I'm always pleasantly surprised when it successfully accomplishes the latter.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're enough of a grown-up for honesty and communication and enough of a kid for delight.

Please let me know that you saw the part where I'm agender. You don't have to comment about it or anything, it's just awkward when people don't notice at all.