Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Intense, intelligent, big-hearted life-loving optimist seeks
I'm a lover not a fighter. Ambitious yet playful, content where I
am but striving for greatness. A bit of a smart ass. Self-aware,
emotionally resilient. Masculine but non-traditional, fierce yet
nurturing. I'm not afraid to wear bright colors, and I'm not afraid
of intimacy. Aspiring alpha nerd. Busy with work and play, but not
too busy to make time for you. A little arrogant sometimes, but I
know it's a flaw and it happens less as I get older and understand
deeply the difference between knowing I'm awesome and thinking I'm
better than anyone else. If we become close I'm loyal and will take
good care of you and go out of my way to help you. I love kids and
animals but don't currently have or want any. I don't take anything
too seriously, including myself. I am fundamentally kind. I
understand that the world is amazing. For the right people, I'm a
I am in a stable, joyful, crazy awesome long-term open partnership.
If you're exclusively looking for single guys, this is the perfect
time to stop reading; I don't get any more single further down. My
partner and I do live together and are deeply committed, but we
don't identify our relationship as primary, and I won't label you
as secondary: Let's let what happens between us find its own level,
from a flirty friendship to getting deep into each other's
* Actually you don't have to be intense. Either way on that. I just
didn't want to write "Intense, intelligent, big-hearted life-loving
optimist seeks same, except really you don't have to be intense
even though I am, but you do have to be all the other things" as my
first sentence. It doesn't really ring, does it?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Careerwise, I'm all about using computers and math to make the
world a better place. I build computational systems that understand
music and speech. I spend half my time kicking ass and the other
half taking names. It is amazing and wonderful and I love it.
Currently I am straddling the border between being part of the show
and running the show, which is causing a minor identity crisis, but
hey, life is growth.
When I'm not working, I'm often dancing. In a good week I will
blues dance and take African and hiphop classes, but I'm busy so
there aren't a lot of good weeks. I travel some for blues dance. I
am interested in learning more salsa, zouk, and tango, so if you're
interested in those hit me up.
When I'm not working or dancing, I'm often making music, mostly
piano and some singing. I play a little guitar. [I play with little
skill; the guitar is regular-sized.] Musical collaborators
When I'm not working or dancing or making music, I'm hanging out
with friends and loved ones, relaxing, going for walks, having long
talks, figuring stuff out, cooking, bouldering, making mischief,
watching sunsets, reading, being silly, taking you on an awesome
date. I leave a lot of time for these things because they are
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Talking. Talking too fast. Listening. Cuddling. Wordplay. Blues and
swing dancing. Asking good questions. Giving compliments. Offending
people accidentally. Cooking. Using semicolons. Talking about
feelings. Talking dirty. Romantic gestures. Math. Having a great
time. Caring about people. Breaking into song. Singing in pig
latin. Smooching. Forgetting my keys. Pushing you up against a
wall. Learning things. Looking good in clothes. Looking good naked.
Having eight ridiculous ideas and one great one. Going rogue.
Recognizing how amazing you are. Pulling your hair. Making you
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm crackin' wise? That I'm prettier in real life?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Long lists make my eyes glaze over. They're the part of your
profile I'm most likely to skip. I'm happy if we like the same
stuff so we can gush about it, and I'm happy if we like different
stuff so I can learn.
Music: Ray Charles. Ratatat. Artists that don't start with 'Ra'.
When I was 14 and I had a giant crush on Suzie Evans from my class,
I asked her what kind of music she liked and she said "eclectic"
and that was the most adorable answer ever. Smart and
sophisticated! Over the years I realized that almost everybody
describes their tastes as eclectic, but I still think of her a
little each time. Anyways, my music tastes are eclectic. Just like
yours. No, really. I probably can't overemphasize how much I like
music. Let's talk about it. Let's bust out singing.
Food: Real food from real ingredients. Home cooking. Foodie
restaurants. High-quality burgers. Tacos. Yes to food!
Movies: 12 Monkeys. Spirited Away. Up. Moonrise Kingdom. Shawshank
Redemption. City of Lost Children. Brick. Strictly Ballroom. The
TV: The Wire. Avatar: The Last Airbender. Mad Men. Archer. Arrested
Development. House. Breaking Bad. BoJack Horseman.
Fiction: Mieville. Le Guin. Chabon. Morgan. Vance. Murakami.
Nonfiction: Books about brain science, love, sex, meditation, math,
animals, infrastructure. Academic papers about artificial
intelligence and signal processing and the auditory system.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to reduce information overload. How to live a simpler but
richer and more meaningful life with more focus on what matters.
How to leave the world a better place than I find it. How not to be
That moment in the Little Mermaid when Sebastian says "Will you get
your head out of the clouds and back in the water where it
belongs?" and Ariel says "I'll swim up to his castle, then Flounder
will splash around to get his attention, and then..." and Sebastian
cuts her off. But I always wonder: "and then WHAT?" What good thing
could possibly happen next? What was she going to say?
Whether I should fib and say I'm 2" taller or a little younger,
which I hear is the norm on OKC? [If it says 5'4" and 43, I decided
not to fib.]
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
out dancing, listening to or making music, cooking all the things,
studying math*, reading a novel, snuggled up watching a movie,
taking you on an amazing date.
* Yeah, that's right, I just admitted I like studying math.
Sometimes even on a Friday night. If you're not cool with that
we're probably not a good match.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am constantly wearing holes in the crotches of my pants. Regular
pants were not built to handle my gyrations.
I buy three books a week and I read one book every three weeks. At
least it often feels that way. I'm trying to cut down. I have
learned that the Japanese have a word for this: tsundoku.
In bed I'm often dominant and kinky, but hey GGG and it doesn't
have to be the same way with everyone. I'm more the "take charge"
sort of dominant than the "we need equipment" sort. My mind is full
of dirty thoughts. Just like yours I hope.
I love drawing but I'm not very good at it.
I do not love camping. I want to love it but I don't. I love being
outside, but I'm really more of a hike or ride bikes all day and
then eat a fancy dinner and stay in a nice hotel with a super comfy
bed and a two-person jacuzzi tub kind of guy. I am open to
exploring this more.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- You have a thing for adorable, aggressive, brash but sweet,
dominant but kind, smart married Jewish men with big
- You can make me laugh.
- You're into good food and cooking.
- You're down with new facial hair every couple of months.
- You want to dance with me.
- You're wicked smart.
- You want to make music together.
- You think nerds are hot.
- You're sex-positive.
- You want to hike / run / lift / climb together.
- You understand that the world is amazing, and leaving it a better
place than you found it is important to you.
- You don't want me to talk dirty to you when I first message you
back, but you want me to talk very very dirty to you
- You're big into physical affection and cuddling and making
- You want to connect both emotionally and physically.
- You have a song you've been listening to 100 times in a row and
you want to share it. Seriously to all of you who have done this,
We're probably not a good match if:
- You spend more time watching sports than watching movies or
- You spend most of your year planning for Burning Man.
- You're vegan.
Musicians, dancers, artists and scientists of all types are
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