But now I'm older, not in as good of shape as I use to be, and I can't do those things any more, at least not the climbing and caving. I still own a canoe and I still dream of being on a quiet river, floating through the passage of time, watching the bottom go by, and wondering where it has been, and where it will go.
I use to cook professionally and I still love to cook.
I use to watch people strive to fulfill their expectations of themselves by scaling rock faces, ropes, or trees in hopes of gleaming some information about themselves that would help them cope with the world they live in...I use to be an adventure instructor.
I use to watch people slide down the mountains on a sheet of glimmering snow, turning this way and that way, marveling at their grace and dexterity, and knowing that I could never be their equal, but enjoying their enjoyment...I use to work at a ski resort.
I use to do a lot of things. But now I just work and wait. I wait for some one or some thing to come into my life and help me make the change. The change that will complete the cycle, to help me become and to remember who I once was and who I use to be.