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34 Brooklyn, NY Cis Man

Cis Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25-39
  • Near me
  • For short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 3:49am
White, Other, —
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Agnosticism and laughing about it
Working on Post grad
Doesn’t want kids
English (Fluently), German (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
nerdy, scruffy appearance; academic ways; inexpensive vices. karaoke, architecture, futzing with old film, cozy productivity, sunshine biking, baking, pinball, slow-starting mornings.

from down south. no accent but i still say "y'all."

DISCLAIMER 1: i live on the same floor with my best friend, who was my primary partner for the past three years. we are very close, but are pursuing independent dating lives. i'm putting this up front in case it's a deal-breaker; while i do want to make out, i don't want to waste yr time.

DISCLAIMER 2: the sexy stuff is mostly down at the bottom. so you can skip there if this profile is, in the words of one of my readers, "like, tl;dr, sorry."

DISCLAIMER 3: while i'm not just on this thing to pick up hot babes, i'm very iffy on boyfriend/girlfriend heteronormative relationships. i'm attracted to independence, i don't wanna own yr body, i believe friendship can overlap with making out and cuddling, and i don't wanna own yr time. these do not preclude my getting totally sweet on you.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
saying yes to things. remembering to make time for my friendships. poking down the block and back, rifling the same ol' record bins, looking up hideous buildings in my yellowing 1970s architecture guide to new york. trying to carve out a facsimile of my dream attic from the late 1920s or 40s, with few possessions but lots of heart and intensely-lived evenings. unfortunately i am having as hard a time giving up all my stupid stuff and habits as i am finding a time machine.

professionally i'm a nerdperson, intermittently struggling to articulate (and hold myself to) a critical or potentially radical historiographical praxis in a notoriously conservative field. aka, phd student.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
rationalizing extra dessert. picking things up with my toes. some board games. squandering my first messages to cool kids on okcupid. naming that tune. the second- or third-most heartwarming compliment i've ever received was an ex-lover telling me i made her feel comfortable in her desires.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
whiteness, maleness, general class position, hair, big nose. sometimes i like to imagine i have a cute butt. people tell me that i wear unlikely color combinations and girls' shirts but i have no real concept of this unless i'm specifically thinking about it.

the gray hairs have started to show here and there, and part of me is pretty stoked about it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.

books: nerdy nonfiction, virginia woolf, old x-men, pulpy garbage.

movies: kiki's delivery service plus whatever you wanna watch. i like movies a lot but am pretty behind on films.

tv shows: mst3k, futurama, columbo, simpsons, twin peaks. generally watching tv makes me hate myself but lately a cider and half an episode of something-or-other are nice at the day's end.

music: anything that you can sing along to with giant emotions, great tunes, good words. 50s rock, classic country, 70s AM gold, chart pop and hip-hop, classic beatles-y pop-rock and its descendents, max tundra, chuck berry, parliament.

food: pancakes, tibetan fried momos, thai stuff, little debbies
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
* camera
* bicycle
* record player
* books books books
* stupid computer
* garbage junk food or something i guess.

i had a sex answer here for ages but i got reflective and punted it down to the next category. but effectively that too.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
architecture, as situated in global material flows and local social and economic conditions. colonialism, large technological systems, power. also aesthetics/formalism. keyboard pop songs i'll never finish writing. random little phrases from books i haven't read in ten years. filthy sweetie sex with sweetie filthy girls. and mostly, all my dear sweet inspirational friends now scattered across the earth.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
decompressing after school, editing photos, watchin a movie, meeting old friends for cheapo dive drinks, i dunno.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
1) i like butts. no like, i'm a connoisseur. i will show yr ass true lovin' appreciation if you want it.

2) i've seen many a profile proclaim: "don't message me if you just want to talk dirty to me." i kind of take the opposite stance on this issue.

3) i have unusual turn-ons, swinging strongly subby. the groovy radical nerd wing of the local kink scene has been kind enough to welcome me as a novice and interloper; if you do fetlife we can swap details that way too. i don't need all my partners to be kinky but if you are completely squeamish about this stuff (which is of course your right!) it might not work out so good.

i've tried to sum my stuff up by saying "i like it dirty," but this has been widely misunderstood. let's say "REALLY dirty."

4) BUT. things don't always have to be so elaborate. i also like making out and groping and sweaty bodies rolling and squirming around together. oouuh!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you wanna get nerdy, and ramble about the stuff you do and the stuff you like.

you wanna get dirty. like, let's.

you're inspired to. i have next to zero first-message game anyway.

you wanna go exploring by bike or subway, especially to architecture and urban spaces.

you are not some career-driven money zombie person and do not measure people by the dollars attached to their clothes, their drinks or their hangouts. my home is still with the DIY kids, even tho they're all a lot cooler than me.

you wanna have yr picture taken. i do decent portraits though most of my experience is with dumb buildings.

you wanna ball and yr not shy.