Sorry bitches, im recently taken, but dont worry, im sure that ill
fuck this up and be back here sometime soon. Untill then i will be
pretending to be better than you since im not single anymore!
Well, there is a lot to say. I am currently taking a break from
stand up in order to actually make some money. I love comedy, but
it's very hard to make money doing it. Currently I'm back in the
restaurant biz. I cook, bar tend, and wait tables. I've been in the
bay area for about a year now, and still don't really know too many
people or places to go. So, if you know of a cool place, or if
you're a cool person hit me up!
I'm very adventurous, and I love trying new things. So, if your
down to go on a hike in the wilderness, or go on a bar crawl, or
eat some crazy weird food, I'm in!
I am also a bit of an asshole. Not in a mean or douchey way. I just
have this need to make fun of just about everything. I giggle a lot
when no one is looking. If you can't take a joke, then you probably
shouldn't message me.
What I’m doing with my life
After spending the last 5 years of my life trying to get into a PhD
program in Sociology, I was accepted into the University of
Chicago, and promptly turned them down. Why? Because I decided that
life is to be enjoyed, and not spent hunched over a desk dealing
with research deadlines, undergraduate students, and stress.
Instead, I became a comedian, and while there isn't a lot of money
in being a performer, it is the most fun and gratifying thing that
I have ever done. Besides I could always become a teacher, or a
cop, or a bum.
Also, I am working on being awesome! After spending most of my life
not really liking myself, I decided that I am indeed the bee's
knees! So, every day when I wake up I try and think of one thing
that I can do to either make me more happy, or make me a better
person. I don't have a 5 year plan, but I do know that if you do
one thing to make yourself more awesome everyday, that in 5 years
you will be totally kick ass.
I’m really good at
Making people think and laugh. I also give really good massages, I
can change a flat tire, and am a master of talking my way out of
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably my eyes, I get that a lot. I am also told multiple times a
day that I look like Seth Rogan, which is a little irritating, but
at least they are saying Jonah Hill.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books : Way too many books to list here, so, I'll just drop the big
ones that have impacted me the most. Ishmael by Daniel Quinn, Mind,
Self, and Society, by Mead. Civilization and its discontents,
Freud. Last night at the lobster, Ohare. Anything by Alesiter
Crowley. Anything by Terrance McKenna, any anything by zecharia
Movie : As long as it has Zombies!
Shows : Vice Guide to Travel, Walking Dead, Mad Men, Louie,
Arrested Development, Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, sons of
Anarchy, Bite Me (youtube show), The Red Bar radio Show (podcast),
and Breaking Bad.
Music: Hands down fav? Social Distortion! I was raised on punk rock
so for me a lot of bands like Alkaline Trio, Nofx, Rancid, The
Distillers, Bad Religion, and Millencollin.
I also like a lot of shitty radio stuff too, but we dont have to
get into that.
I like a lot of the more underground hip hop. For isntance I am a
huge Sage Francis fan. Or like Immortal technique, Jedi Mind Trick,
Buck 65, cunninlynguists, J5, Mac lethal, MC Chris, and Tech n9ne
The six things I could never do without
1 My son (Yeah, i forgot to mention him up until now. He's awesome,
and he's 5! I started young, and stopped young. I am still friends
with his mother, we split up about a year ago. I love being a dad.
I don't recommend it to everyone, but its a lot of fun)
6 Food that makes your tongue go, "wtf was that?"
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I can not help but be a heavily philosophical thinker. As of late I
have been reading a lot of Ram Dass, Terrance McKenna, Graham
Hancock, Albert Camus, and I listen to a lot of Podcasts. So
basically I sit around all day thinking about the singularity, or
the end of the world, or zombie apocalypses, sometimes I think
about what it would be like to not broke all of the time. Maybe
sometimes I think about you? That would be weird, because I don't
know you yet. That would be creepy.
On a typical Friday night I am
Friday night is usually a night that I have the kiddo, but on
Saturdays you can usually find me doing a comedy show or 2, and
then hanging out with friends usually at a dive bar.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I like to take baths, but not just a regular boring bath. I drink
scotch in the tub while listening to weezer and candlelight. That's
my me time.
You should message me if
You aren't insane. You want to meet up and drink and talk! Drinking
and talking are two of the things that I do best! I'll bet I can
impress you at least mildly with the way that I use words in
combination with drink!