Planet of origin: Earth
Lifeform type: Organic human
Gender: Male
Lives with parents: Negative
Interests beyond work: Yes
Psychological and/or physical deformities: Negative

Also, this site appears to indicate that I am, like, way less ambitious than everyone else. I don't know why this is. I don't think it's true. I grew out of the slacker phase.

I think I'm trying to avoid doing anything in 2012 that will make me the subject of a tabloid documentary like "Drew Peterson: Untouchable" in 15 years. So far successful.

Other than that, I am making myself useful, most of the time.

Hanging out. Working really hard when necessary. Having a good time. Saying funny and ridiculous shit. Reading. Being goofy. Representing. Urban rioting. Managing upwards. Bagels.

Glasses. Irreverent sense of humor. Beard? (now depicted in photos).

Books: The New Yorker (technically not a book), FERC Practice & Procedure Manual, I Am Not Spock & I Am Spock (these are actual real book written by Leonard Nimoy), I wish I had time to read more books- I’m still trying to finish this book about post-independence India, but the thing’s a beast

Movies/shows: Usually comedy, but you can throw in some drama and action for good measure. My television is 17 inches and has a built-in VHS deck. I enjoy Curb, Boardwalk Empire, It’s always sunny, political and current events bullshit of all flavors. Whatever’s on TBS, the best station I get. Aqua Teen Hunger Force is a work of genius. It's possible that Star Trek- Next Generation is my favorite television show of all time.

Music: trying to assemble a list is a bit absurd. I listened to The Weeknd on the way to work. The other day I walked around NYC with a Jimi Hendrix concert recorded in 1969 as my companion. I like world music. Electronic music. Whatever, man. My favorite band in high school was sonic youth. J. Dilla. Maybe I’m just listing off things stream of conscious style now. I think I like Odd Future. I really like this album “Living with Owusu & Hannibal.” If you like that album, you should message me.

Comestibles: should be mainly vegetarian. Fish is good. Undiscovered animals could also be served (you wonder what that means). Please make it spicy. If they ever stopped making cheese, my cries of rage would be heard on distant suns. I have recently discovered chocolate covered almonds out of the gumball machine at work- shit is the bomb.

I'm sure I've left out a lot. You probably didn't even read most of the above.

*an ice cold beer on a hot day
*the red deluxe-micro uniball pen
*probably my iphone
*friends
*functional brain stem
*the planet earth

Energy, the environment and business
Politics and current events
Music
My social life
How I don’t get enough sleep
Visual art
Spectator sports

probably enjoying adult beverages. maybe chillaxing at the crib. occasionally, at the office (booo!).

I may be an android. I may be wanted by the FBI. I press snooze way too much in the morning.

you have a favorite color of highlighter. you like having a good time and don't take yourself too seriously.

Also, I'm in the market for a new couch. if you have any insight or expertise in this area, you should advise. Finally made this happen. 2013 has been god for at least something.

oh, yeah, and one other thing- can someone please explain this girls with mustache photos trend? I don't get it, so clearly I did not get the memo. [UPDATE: This trend continues, but still no one has been able to explain it. Maybe this is just something I have to accept as an article of faith, girls with fake mustaches?]