32 Columbus, OH
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I'll get rid of spiders for you. Probably.

Hey, I'm Ian. I like cheese.

Do you need more than that?

Does anyone?


Growing up, I wanted to live in a fantasy world where I was the hero that the world needed and deserved. I was afraid of the dark for a really long time. Still kind of am, under the right circumstances. It was so bad that in order to get into bed, I had to run and jump to my bed so that the monster living under the bed couldn't reach out and grab my legs. I also had to sleep dead center. Too far to either side and I was fucked by one thing or another.

I am intrigued by dreams and nightmares and sleep paralysis. I feel like it is silly to think there can be no life on other worlds. I had an encounter with a "ghost", so even with my incredibly skeptical nature, I am forced to believe in at least the possibility.

I am a gamer. PC master race. Batman is #1. John Carpenter's The Thing is the best movie. Once comfortable, I am generally never very serious, but can switch into "adult" mode when necessary. Lucky me, it is almost never necessary because I rather enjoy the attention being the clown with a heart of gold affords me. Rather typical Leo behavior, if you're into that kind of thing.

Oh, I was sorted into Gryffindor. It didn't come as much surprise to me, though I think only being sorted into Hufflepuff would have been a surprise.

I also like cheese.
What I’m doing with my life
Taking a musical journey to the unknown. This year (2015) I was introduced to a new to me genre of metal. It clicked with me almost immediately. Now I can't stop the descent into the depths of YouTube, surfacing with shiny nuggets of ooey gooey music. It has been an amazing ride so far. I've found so many new artists. I'm not sure what to classify any of it as, but the comments section calls it psychedelic rock. At least when it isn't straight sludgy doom metal. You wanna veg out and listen with me?

This seems like a good place to put in what I'm currently reading.

Current book:

Naked Lunch by William Burroughs.
What the fuck am I reading?
I’m really good at
I'm really good at movie trivia and I am a fairly fast reader. Also, due to my childlike imagination, I am really good at freaking myself out.

Oh, and falling asleep while reading. I can't keep my damn eyes open.
The first things people usually notice about me
Physically, I have no idea. That isn't information most people share.

I make a very poor first impression. Start off quiet and move on to just being weirder and weirder as my filter breaks.

I've been told, at least once, that I could be a teacher because of the way kids respond to me. Most kids do seem to warm up to me pretty fast. My guess, they sense that I'm one of them, a kid on the inside.

If you notice anything different, you're going to have to tell me. Later on, underneath this tough guy exterior, you may learn that I am a teddy bear and enjoy warm hugs and cuddles.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

Terry Brooks, Stephen King, Glen Cook, H.P. Lovecraft, Dan Simmons. A Roadside Picnic by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky.


Everything. Seriously. Well, except those movies. I hope to never see them. Bad enough I had to see the other one. Everything else is fair game. Horror is my favourite though.


Firefly, X-Files, True Detective, Berserk, Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, Justice League/Unlimited, Psych, Todd and the Book of Pure Evil, Parks and Recreation.

Video games:

Final Fantasy 9, Phantasy Star 4, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, Ristar, Doom 2, Super Smash Brothers, and many more.


Iced Earth, Devin Townsend, Amon Amarth, Pelican, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Hans Zimmer, Nine Inch Nails, Queen, Manowar, Johnny Cash, Journey, Boston, Reverend Bizarre, Mars Red Sky and many many more.


I go weak in the knees for sushi, pizza, brats with sauerkraut and mustard, and breakfast foods. You can keep your tomatoes and onions.
The six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How many of the laughs that I get are from people humoring me, and how many are genuine?

Tim Burton's Penguin (from Batman Returns) is forever making the live long and prosper sign. You know, from Star Trek.

How many 5 year olds could I fight before they eventually swarmed me and took me down?

Why do socks suck so bad?
On a typical Friday night I am
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm kinda lazy on my own. I try too hard on here.
You should message me if
You would like to talk and get to know someone different. I promise that I'm easy to talk to and to get along with. If we don't click, hey, no sweat, but I do think it is worth trying to find out.

If you want a starting point, share a weird dream you had recently. I always enjoy dream stories.
Who/what are some of your favourite villains?