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38 Los Angeles, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 23–38
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Jun 30
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Atheism, and laughing about it
Working on Ph.D program
Seeing Someone
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My favorite things: waking up at 6 A.M., high Sierras, crawling out of my tent, desperately making tea before my hands freeze off. The moment of understanding when the whole world breaks apart and reassembles itself along new lines. Bourbon. A perfect analogy. Things that are crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Brutal truth. Dancing! The way happy, sweaty girls smell. Coffee that tastes like sex feels. . Imaginative, but precise, description. The look on a student's face when you piss them off enough that they actually start to *think for themselves*. Improv-cooking dinner parties with random ingredients. A well-placed fart.

*I'm polyamorous and in an open, long-distance relationship.*
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Grad school: philosophy. My dissertation is on moral and aesthetic disagreement and moral humility. Abstract: "A critique of moral fanaticism, or: Stop being so sure of yourself, dipshit."

Food writing: I share a newspaper column about discovering ethnic dives - handmade dumpling houses and taco trucks and falafel stands hidden behind laundromats. I had my brief minute of fame when the whole they-made-taco-trucks-illegal thing came through and I claimed, in print, that taco trucks were more important to LA culture than the Getty.

I took some crap for that.

Rock climbing, which is the most beautiful physical activity known to man. It's sort of like solving logic problems, with your body. It's like: yoga is classical music, and rock climbing is jazz.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I was trying to describe, for a restaurant review, a Korean dish of short ribs that had been simmered in plum juice for 24 hours until it turned into a bowl of molten candied beef-love. I wrote, "It's like getting a blow job from a Care Bear." My editor refused to publish it. But here's the thing: *I was absolutely right*.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm too excited about *something*. "Here! Try this tea! Now smell this bourbon! Now touch this brush! Isn't it a nice brush?" What the thing is changes. For a while, it was multiple-infusion oolong tea. Then, it was understanding the failed marriages and personal self-destruction of my friends. Then it was cooking African stews. Then it was dub music. Then: zen-style brush painting. And then, for no apparent reason, it was fountain pens. For three whole dark weeks, I couldn't think about anything else. Don't ask my why. I still, to this day, have no fucking idea.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Food: everything, but my current obsession is pani puri, which is Indian street food: little fried eggshells of bread that you have to quickly fill with cold mint chutney and then throw it in your mouth before it gets soggy and dissolves in your hand. If you get it right: kablooey! Crunchy cool mint-water explosion! It's like a gazpacho hand grenade going off in your mouth! Food with narrative structure, and the possibility of total failure!

Novels: Vonnegut, Dostoevsky, Bronte, Melville, Austen, Pynchon, Chekhov, Connell, Musil, Kafka, O'Connor, DFW, Lynda Barry, Proust most of all. Anything with the stench of painful truth.

Poetry: Emily Dickinson, Tu Fu, Elizabeth Bishop, Walt Whitman, Issa. Marianne Moore, Basho, Rilke, Akhmatova, Berryman. Pain, jangliness, clarity.

Music: Here are the cores from which everything radiates: Velvet Underground. Brian Eno. Thelonious Monk. Beethoven. Miles Davis. P-funk. Wu Tang Clan. John Fahey. Django Reinhardt. Lee Scratch Perry. The modern salvation of music is in the hands of Joanna Newsom, Diplo, and Ghostface Killah.

And Japanese noise metal might just, in the end, save us all.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Novelty.
2. Epiphanies: the particular feeling of having about fourteen different conflicting ideas and unresolved problems and having them suddenly snap into a single glorious overwhelming structure that explains everything, which is sort of like having an orgasm and taking an enormous shit at the exact same moment.
3. Bluntness, directness, sincerity.
4. Food with guts and soul.
5. Conversations late into the night, on the track of something greater...
6. Enveloping, oceanic music.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Newest obsession: the Improv Cooking Dinner Party Game! Everybody brings a random ingredient. We make up dinner from what shows up. Last time, I made spinach salad wilted in bacon, topped with grilled duck breast and blueberry-honey sauce. With fennel croutons.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The first time I was naked in front of a girl, it was my high school girlfriend, who was German (like, actually German, so you have to imagine a slight, soft, sweet German accent for the rest of this story), and I nervously took my pants off, and she looked up, raised an eyebrow, and said, "Is that what a normal penis looks like? Because my father's is so much larger."
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like exploring - cities, mountains, ideas - and talking about it afterwards in excessively fine detail. Also: if you write funny haiku. Sarcastic haiku is sexy.

You break out dancing anywhere. Like in the supermarket. You like going outside and getting filthy and bloody and loopy-happy. You eat with abandon. You appreciate a beautiful insult, whichever end of it you're on.

**I am in an open relationship and looking for genuine connection of any sort.**