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32 Melbourne, Australia Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 25–36
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 4:35am
5′ 0″ (1.52m)
Body type
Rather not say
Mostly anything
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Doesn’t have kids
English, Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
standard issue caucasian female. comes with acerbic wit and bad organisation skills. can't really cook. date me lol

I'm not down to earth at all. if you don't reply to my text i will turn up to your house drunk at 3 o'clock in the morning crying and trying to break in. i hate drinking tea and doing craft. i hate bicycles, the beach, sunshine and parks. and cider, i hate cider.

I'm an ENFP, which means I'm an extrovert, very sociable, passionate about things and quite disorganised.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
radio, journalism, digital production, blah blah blah. sometimes i do comms contracts in government. I do freelance writing and a bunch of odd jobs. I do some stuff on community radio sometimes.

I spend most of my weeknights performing stand-up comedy.

I'm also a terrible DJ.

I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
spinning a yarn, finding something to do on a saturday night, putting red lipstick on without looking in a mirror.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
very short and probably in the middle of telling an elaborate story.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
MUSIC - hip hop, R&B, techno, house, disco, pop music, garage, whatever....
I don't know, look at my Last FM thing
* if you own a Kings of Leon album released after 2004 or like the Red Hot Chili Peppers then we can't be friends.

BOOKS - I'm in a book club but i will probably be kicked out soon as I never go. UPDATE: they took me off the book club email list.

FOOD - all of it. i put sriracha hot sauce on everything.

MOVIES - whatever arty farty thing is on at the nova i suppose.

I'm currently obsessed with Orphan Black, plus I love Girls, Inside Amy Schumer and Orange is the New Black atm... HBO things, funny things and some trashy reality shows (Toddlers & Tiaras AMIRIGHT?!). and endless clips of Simon Amstell on 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' on Youtube.

I have never watched a full episode of Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad. I am willing to budge on this if i found someone cool to watch it with.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
my rape whistle
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
life's existential questions... seriously no, just LOLcats mostly. and how i can get more twitter followers.

and why every guy these days has a huge beard.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
drunk, let's be honest.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
my middle name is Sheila.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- you actually read my profile
- you like comedy and have a silly sense of humour
- you're not going to get all weird on me (this isn't a joke. last week a guy on okc tried to solicit sex from me for money. gross).