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33 Melbourne, Australia Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 22-37
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Nov 28
5' 0" (1.52m)
Body Type
Rather not say
Doesn’t have kids
English, Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
standard issue caucasian female. bad organisation skills. can't really cook. can't drive. date me lol

I'm not down to earth at all. if you don't reply to my text i will turn up to your house drunk at 3 o'clock in the morning crying and trying to break in. i hate drinking tea and doing craft. i hate bicycles, the beach, sunshine and parks. and cider, i hate cider.

I'm an ENFP, which means I'm an extrovert, very sociable, passionate about things and quite disorganised.

I'm just trying to find someone to give me driving lessons.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Not being a manic pixie dream girl, despite the glasses and bangs. at this point i need to make that clear. i do not play the ukelele.

i do not identify as a "nerd". lol sorry

Social media stuff, comedy.... Previously radio and writing stuff, working in the "digital industry", blah blah blah i do freelance writing and stuff on radio sometimes.

I spend most of my weeknights performing stand-up comedy.

I'm also a terrible DJ.

I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
spinning a yarn, finding something to do on a saturday night, putting red lipstick on without looking in a mirror.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
very short and probably in the middle of telling an elaborate story.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
MUSIC - hip hop, R&B, techno, house, disco, pop music, garage, whatever....
I don't know, look at my Last FM thing
* if you own a Kings of Leon album released after 2004 or like the Red Hot Chili Peppers then we can't be friends.

BOOKS - I'm in a book club but i will probably be kicked out soon as I never go. UPDATE: they took me off the book club email list.

FOOD - all of it. i put sriracha hot sauce on everything.

MOVIES - whatever arty farty thing is on at the nova i suppose.

I'm currently obsessed with Orphan Black, plus I love Girls (edit: i wrote this a while ago and am now totally over this show), Inside Amy Schumer, broad city and Orange is the New Black... HBO things, funny things and some trashy reality shows. like, i really love The Bachelor. and endless clips of Simon Amstell on 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' on Youtube.

I have never watched a full episode of Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad. I am willing to budge on this if i found someone cool to watch it with.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
my rape whistle
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
life's existential questions... seriously no, just LOLcats mostly. and how i can get more twitter followers.

and why every guy these days has a huge beard.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
drunk, let's be honest.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
my middle name is Sheila.

um. i should probably mention I have a podcast about internet dating called 'Swipe Night' lol.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- you actually read my profile
- you like dank memes
- you like comedy and have a silly sense of humour
- you're not going to get all weird on me (don't make a stupid joke about this. people on okcupid can be gross af)