29 San Francisco, CA
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My self-summary
I prefer small bites of info:
- I'm from Texas. Have lived in the Bay Area for a decade. Moved out here for school.
- I enjoy WIRED magazine and Mark Twain's outlook on life.
- I should read more but sometimes feel too lazy. That sounds bad, but it's the truth. I have no problem not finishing a book if I think the author sounds like an asshole. (I'm talking to you, Greg Mortenson. And you too, Julien Smith.)
- Sexy underwear > whatever else you're wearing.
- I find Southern and South African accents sexy.
- I always hear someone else's side. Whether I take that into consideration depends on how much it agrees with my side.
- That last tidbit sounds like some bad Hallmark card. Probably in the Lovable Assholes section.
- I have a few tattoos. No, I don't mind showing them all to you on a first date.
- I enjoy Crossfit but don't need to talk about it ever.
What I’m doing with my life
Employed at an ed tech company in Mountain View, work with universities on online ed.
I’m really good at
Telling you what you did wrong or why you suck. I'm like, *really* good at it.

Being gross and taking things too far.

I also like to think I'm good at making people chuckle, reconsider their argument, and feel comfortable in situations where I feel comfortable. (Those are three independent items, not a series of actions. But now that I've read it as a series of actions I think it sounds like I'm good at talking people into sleeping with me.)
The first things people usually notice about me
The chloroform rag.

Jk -- that's the last thing.

My smile (if you're checking me out), my dry sense of humor (if you're a friend or coworker), or your dog in my arms (if I'm at the dog park and decide to take it).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Geek Love is my favorite. 100 Years of Solitude, The Corrections, and Go the F**k to Sleep are some classic faves. And Kurt Vonnegut, hell yes.

If you love Gary Larson, I probably love you already.

Six Feet Under. The Critic. Always Sunny. Parks and Rec. Archer. UCB. And just about anything with hookers in it. Seriously. I think hookers are interesting.

I like most foods and shop for healthy items, but I'm not gonna lie -- I could eat Mexican food all day everyday until it kills me. And burgers. My last meal will probably be whatever greasy burger I can find with an entire burrito added in as a layer. Oh man, I'm getting so hungry right now.
The six things I could never do without
A close friend who's a bad influence
Scruff (not the app)
A comfortable hoodie
Socks when sleeping (ugh, I know)
Hope for world peace
...wait no, I want to change that last one to 'frozen mango'
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Mostly how adorable corgis are and how awesome it would be to have a corgi farm where someone else takes care of the dogs and my job is to go into the pen with all the corgis and roll around with them for exercise.

Occasionally, the unnecessary "use" of quotation "marks."
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably drunk and #hashtagging the #shit out of everything on every social networking site, including #LinkedIn cuz I'm #totallymotherfuckingprofessional. #Millennial #PleaseClap
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The snozzberries actually taste more like kiwi, but that's none of my fuckin' business.
You should message me if
You think I'm cuuuuute and wanna huuuuuug me and kiiiiiiisss me and have my baaaaabies.