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42 Chandler, AZ Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 30–42
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Dec 2
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Dropped out of Ph.D program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Whoa, I keep bumping into walls in here. I was just looking at the 'Questions', and I kept skipping them because... because the answer is always complicated. Sex or true love. What? Both! Normal or weird. Um, depends on who you ask? Sleep with someone on the first date. What kind of trick question is that? For sure that one time I wouldn't do differently... Yes, I saw the little explanation box, way down after the radio buttons and check boxes. Maybe I'll return to them...

Then I went to look at 'My Details' imagining all the little witticisms I could embed in my answers, but no... No, no, I only get to choose from limited options... The only answer I'm really happy with is 'Education'. And I really want a line for 'Number of passport stamps'.

Okay, so here's my first pass at answers:

Ethnicity: Californian mutt
Diet: Leaning toward paleo locavore at the moment
Religion: "This place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you" -Hafiz
Job: This week involves too much concern about a cash flow forecast.
Income: Reliable.
Offspring: No, but I have three beautiful nieces and a beautiful goddaughter, and the older ones just want money for Christmas, but the younger ones still love those magical gifts in big boxes. Though when I was in Toys R Us I was so excited about all the cool toys for little boys and was feeling some longing...

Ahhh, that's a little better... I think I was a little claustrophobic in here at first. I just needed a little more room to spread out.

And, yes, I know the rule about quotation marks and periods, but I'm being obstinate.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
(so I put this profile up when I was in Phoenix for work for several weeks last year, and had recently broken up. That was awhile ago, and I'm realizing that some of the references are a bit dated. For instance, the last movie I saw was the X Men: Days of Future Past. Yesterday. But until I feel super inspired, I'll let it be.

I've recently moved to Sebastopol. Where I walk a lot. I love walking. Most days I walk down the country lane, and over the past few months, I've taken such a delight in watching the steady transformation of the world. First the apple blossoms and wildflowers. Then the leafing of the apple trees and the poppies. Now the plumping applets, the blackberry blossoms, and the purple sweet pea blooms. And this afternoon, the humming! of bees. Everywhere I stopped a steady background hum.

Perhaps I should try to read Annie Dillard again...)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
not putting the right essay in the right box.

So... After my initial mildly traumatic confrontation with the 'Questions' here, I did go back and answer some of the easier questions. Now I have my little flowchart back from OkCupid that handily boils down all the complexity and nuance of whom I'd date down to three issues: doesn't do hard drugs (by which I'm thinking more heroin, and less ayahuasca), won't make me watch horror movies, and won't force me to eat only bean sprouts and lentils (been down that road before).

Now this could be depressing, having the critical decision-making junctures of my psyche mapped out into a flowchart by a robot, but I'm choosing to view it this way: I'm really open-minded about whom I'd date! Other than a few picky little items--the horror movie issue being most important--I'm pretty easy-going.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Not sure about favorites, but here are some recents: Marilynne Robinson's Gilead, Star Trek into Darkness, Cormac McCarthy's The Road, Mud, the spicy turmeric squid plate at Camino, Lincoln, Goethe's Faust (must be better in German), David Mitchell's Cloud Atlas, Argo, Julian Barnes' The Sense of an Ending, coca-leaf sours and ceviche, Machu Picchu, Irving Stone's Agony and Ecstasy (which keeps reminding me of the Hall & Oates song), The Dark Knight Rises, these fantastic spiced Mediterranean meatballs in a harissa-pomegranate sauce (nom, nom, nom), Mark Johnston's Saving God, fantastic Margherita pizza with buffalo mozzarella... And I'm sure I'm forgetting lots...

I did forget lots, but this is worth a PS because it was so, so, so delicious: Guiness gingerbread ice cream.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Um... Air, water, food, refrigeration, hot water... Wow, not much room left for showing my individual uniqueness... Especially because my iPhone is pretty much essential too.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
For some reason, everytime I log on to OKCupid, I start to worry about whether Kierkegaard was a Knight of Faith or a Knight of Infinite Resignation in regards to Regine. What of his breaking of their engagement? Faith? Resignation? And I worry for him, for his writing of two books to her in explanation, only to have her announce her engagement to another.

And through some twisty subterranean tunnel of my mind this relates to OKCupid...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Well, definitely not the most private thing I'm willing to admit, but yesterday, I was listening to the radio and kind of thinking about the fact that I hadn't listed any music on my profile. Partly, it's awkward, because the truth is that I've been listening to classical music lately, which... well, right. Hard to show how cutting edge I am when Sunday Baroque is my favorite radio program, and Franz Schubert is my favorite songwriter of the moment.

Anyway, so I'm listening to the radio yesterday, when the latest Bruno Mars song comes on. And I'm just about to change the station (because come on, who likes Bruno Mars?) when I come to the embarrassing and undeniable realization that I love Bruno Mars! And as I sit there, ashamed and bemused, trying to figure out how this could possibly be, I realized how it could be--the part of me that loves Bruno Mars is the same part of me that loves Journey. (Well, okay, maybe 'loves' is a little strong. But 'enjoys immensely' isn't much better.)

And, yes, I understand--Steve Perry is one of those singers that people either love or hate--rarely is anyone luke-warm. Thus, my hesitation in admitting this publicly.

I'm still sort of stunned, honestly...
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You know of a fantastic foodie restaurant that you want to go try, or want to go see a movie, or want to go hike up a mountain, or need a belay partner. Or suggest an adventure.

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