A: Manuscripts full of my failed works.
Q: What are your television favorites?
A: Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, American Horror Story
Q: What was your favorite cartoon when you were a kid?
Q: Who’s your greatest influence?
A: LaWanda Page
Q: What’s your greatest fear?
A: future dystopia controlled by the Religious Right.
Q: Pick three people, living or dead, who you think would make the most fascinating dinner guests imaginable.
A: Diamanda Galas ; James Baldwin; H.P. Lovecraft. Diamanda would sing an aria, while Baldwin read Lovecraft the riot act.
Q: What would you serve?
Q: How would you describe your dream guy?
A: Someone with the soul of a poet, the compassion of a saint, the humor of Emo Phillips. But I’ll take hot over that any day.
Q: Who should star in a movie about your life?
A: Alfonso Riberio.
Q: Who gets on your nerves?
A: Devotees of Ayn Rand.
Q: If your home was burning, what’s the first thing you’d grab while leaving?
A: My cat. Though she wouldn’t appreciate it.
Q: Who’s your favorite musical artist?
A: Right Said Fred.
Q: What’s your favorite website?
Q: What’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex?
A: In the catacombs beneath Paris. With a C.H.U.D.
Q: What’s your favorite food to splurge with?
A: Anything with lots and lots of saffron.
Q: What’s your favorite season?
A: Winter. It’s a season of death.
Q: What kind of animal would you be?
A: A cassowary. They look like a cross between a turkey and a velocioraptor, and can eviscerate you with a single kick.
Q: What kind of plant would you be?
A: A corpse flower.
Q: What kind of car would you be?
A: A jalopy
Q: State your life philosophy in 10 words or less.
A: Watch it, sucker.