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26 Oakland, CA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24-36
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, casual sex

My details

Last online
May 24
Pacific Islander, White
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
5' 3" (1.60m)
Body Type
Full figured
Doesn’t have kids but wants them
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've found the Offerman to my Mullally- now we're both in search for the big booty beauty to be our bedroom bonus! We're eager to share our sexual desires with a confident woman that is simply looking to be sexually satisfied.

Disclaimer: we are a MF/ looking for a second F. No boys, I'm not looking to be "Eifel towered and double dicked." (a quote from a wildly aggressive message I've received. Hahah)

While I'm a huge fan of eloquently written profiles, I'm an even bigger fan of lists:

Sparkling Water
Bulleit on the rocks, two limes.
Left Handed
Surprise Jam Sessions
Making that paper
Hulu cuddle nights/days/weeks

Illinois farm girl turned Vegas party animal, most recently turned East Bay Bossa Nova and beyond stoked about it!

I hate packing peanuts with the most ridiculous passion.

This is Sparta.

Kindness is the most beautiful thing in the world to me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Getting Weird.
Washing my hands a lot.
Adventuring the bay for all the bay has to offer.
Having intense conversations
Lending a hand
Going to shows/ house shows/ anything overtly 'rad bands playing rad music.'
Sitting in the "San Francisco history" section of the library and just geeking the fuck out on architecture, humans, and everything in between.

Working with my wonderful company.

Trying to work up the balls to ask a beautiful woman to join me and my partner for a night of sheer satisfaction.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making Friends
Meeting Mothers
Being Spontaneous
High Fives
Lending a hand
Saying "I'm down" more often than not.
Playing Disc Golf
Opening Jars
Making your day
Writing Lists
Serious brain picking conversations
I-Spy, Balderdash, and Charades
Passing on the girly drama and in turn making a "fart noise."
Laughing until I cry, and then having to cough because I was cry-laughing so hard.
Being a wingman
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My smile.
My entourage.
My inviting personality.

I hope it's not my cackle. Did I seriously just cackle in public?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
19-1230 TCX

Kung Fu films
O' Brother, Where art Thou?
Shawshank Redemption
Forrest Gump
Garden State
Dead Poets Society
Fight Club
American Psycho
Big Fish
Slowly diving into the entire Criterion
An amateur amount of foreign films
Any Happy Madison Production
Any Wes Anderson Film
Inspirational Documentaries
Food Documentaries
Musical Documentaries
Documentary Documentaries Documenting Documents!


Sex and the City
How It's Made
Law and Order: SVU & CI
How I Met Your Mother
Fresh Prince
DEXTER (sans the last season, easily top 3)

I can and have watched PBS's Create channel all day.

Skateboarding and cat videos on YouTube and Vine Are a frequent past time. (I don't own cats, not do I skateboard. Both are just so interesting to me.)


I prefer my music in Album Form.

Old Standards, Rock and Roll, Hip Hop, and utter noise.

Currently, and ever changing:

Tip Top:
Timbre Timbre
Sage Francis
Man Man
Darwin Deez
Neil Young
Missy Elliott
The Dirtbombs
Joao Gilberto
Lords of the Underground
Thievery Corporation
Frank Ocean
Neil Young
Heartless Bastards
Jurassic 5


This is hard, so I'll list the things I don't like:
plain unsalted peas
the texture of coconut and beans
sea urchin
Hoppy beers
Coconut water.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Clean Clothes
Breakfast, any time of day.
My Parents
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
... In a gigantic nutshell: the universe, energy, my community, and kindness.

What being in my thirties will be like, and whether or not I'll tell my future children the whole truth about my twenties.


Memories with my best friends in Vegas.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
With Friends
Adventuring the Bay
Engaged in gnarly conversation
Playing Charades, Balderdash, Board games with friends.
At a Show
Preaching about compassion to a willing ear
Laughing so hard
Mentally being self conscious of how Loud I'm talking and cackling.


enjoying the comforts of my extremely comfortable bed.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a twitter hashtag tattooed on my foot, saying "#HAM."
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're fun.
You're looking for some harmonies to those songs you wrote in high school.
You're not socially awkward.
You have a cuddly dog or cat looking for more attention.
You want to change the world by loving everyone in it.
You're a corn fed Midwest girl.
You use emojis on your iPhone, as an adult. 😬🐉💃📯🔝
You love your parents.

If you identify as an "asshole," if you have ever said "I hate all people equally," if you're passionate about the saying "the world would be a better place if all the stupid people died," - I truly want nothing to do with you, and hope you find some god damn compassion in your life.