I am a music lover who enjoys meaningful conversations as well as just silently sitting and listening, be the soundscape played by humans or by nature.

Happiness is what I'm after, it just seems to elude me every time I get my hands on it. You can't just notate happiness like a marching song - arrange all the achievements neatly in harmony and smile as the snare drum starts pounding. No. Life is more complicated for us self-critical perfectionists.

Don't take my word for me. The mighty, all-knowing test robot of OKC has proclaimed that I am The Pure Nerd-Boy Next Door. And actually, it has hit the mark quite accurately.

Nerd, sure, that's obvious. I'm definitely a computer-nerd and a music-nerd. I'm also a nerd in the sense of being a little afraid of other people (Nooooooooo, did I just say that, what will they think of me now).

Also, during the years I've grown to understand that I _want_ to be pure. Not pure as in the no-sex-before-marriage thing, but as in pure vs. cool, as in Thom Yorke vs. Liam Callagher, as in Ville Malja vs. Ville Valo, as in not-in-tune vs. autotune, as in squint vs. sunglasses, as in.. you get the picture.

And yes. I'm the boy next door. I'm next door to the party where everyone important was invited to. I'm next door turning the volume up just so loud that the muffled sound of the same old hit collection cd doesn't get through. And I'm not banging the wall with a broom or writing letters that tell them to shut up, because I'm happy about the situation. I'm happy being next door.. at least until the morning when the contrasted setting has vanished.

I'm working in IT, currently enjoying the challenges it provides like I enjoy a nice board game or a puzzle. It enables me to pay the mortgage, go places and do stuff, but it does not quite make me complete. The pay and the not-complete part enable me to still dream of finding the perfect way of expressing myself with music, which in my case would not be possible if I had to try to make a living with it.

keeping secrets, hiding my own secrets, not keeping my own secrets from people i trust, listening, making observations of insignificant things, listening, falling into a state of trance in moving vehicles, taking long trips in moving vehicles, listening, making a mess while cooking, cooking, amusing myself with words, smiling at myself, smiling and looking away, cooking, slow non-verbal communication, making up shared mental images, seeing in the dark, combining things, seasoning, adapting, letting go of opinions, tolerance, adapting, walking and singing at the same time, losing time, losing the track of time, getting lost on purpose, cutting my own hair in front of a mirror, ignoring mirrors, mirroring, slow non-verbal communication, using all five fingers of my left hand, playing with open strings, mumbling incomprehensible lyrics while playing, using seven fingers, tasting new foods, seasoning new foods, cooking, going with the flow, anything while in the flow, changing course, abstract things, changing pace, keeping pace, rythms, silence, randomness, taking things too far, letting go, silence

Food:
I love handmade food. Quality comes from the time and love put into making it, not the price, style of cuisine or the name of the restaurant.

Music:
I have a broad taste in music but I generally prefer the indie side of things. There seems to be some sort of link of melancholy between the bands/artists that I really learn to love.

Some of my favorite bands at the moment:
Placebo, Death cab for cutie, Radiohead, Mew, Massive attack, Arovane, Boards of Canada, Incubus, Sigur Ros

Movies:
I like the visual aspects and the general out-there wibe of Terry Gilliam films. I admire the difficulty of David Lynch films and the pace of Terrence Malick films. Also, I love the cuteness of the characters in Hayao Miyazaki films. I know a few directors, but I still need to dig a little deeper into the past. I'm ashamed to admit, I haven't seen any Tarkovsky films.

Books:
The last book I read was Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman. At first I thought I had found the perfect antidote for my Coelho overdose, but no. The happiness and the completeness of the characters on the last pages just made me want to puke. Lovely writing, though. Yes, too much Coelho. I'm in need of something darker.

Comic books:
Sandman and anything packed in a cigarette box :)

Love, music, self-expression, trees, solitude and deep, meaningful communication with someone

how to find happiness, little things insignificant to other people

listening to something. Sometimes out, sometimes in.

your intuition tells you to. So would I. ... Or you could always try some of the less spiritual (read: less kooky) ones over there on the right ;) ------------>