I'm a drummer, an eclectic/pagan, an artist, a tinkerer, a gear head, a hippy, a goth. Who is non Monogamous, into BDSM, music.

LAST EDITED: September 2010

English is not my first language, so my grammar is probably horrible.
I want to relearn Russian, my first language. My language skills aren't awesome in either language:(
I find some folks who can speak Russian with the proper accent very hot for some reason. I'm still trying to figure that one out.

I'm find that I really can't appreciate people who have to classify everything as black and white concrete ideas with no gray areas. It's too stereotypical.

I'M ADDICTED TO DRUMMING
Sometimes I hate the fact that I love drumming so much, because I don't feel that I get to socialize enough. At the same time, especially after a bad day or week, I really feel the need to drum. It's like a drug to me. In some ways I am addicted to it.
I look at this as, drumming is part of my spiritual experience.
My eclectic / pagan / agnostic beliefs or something like that...

My religious path
I see religion as a divider. Religion forces people to draw boundaries and isolate themselves from others. As my friend Rob says "Different religions give you a different perspective of looking at the same thing."

I follow what I choose. I choose bits and pieces of different religions. I agree with some things, but not others.
I don't want to follow anyone's path, & I don't want anyone to follow me in my beliefs. If we agree on some things, or click in some way that's great.
My main focus is on energy. I have started to experiment with kherete, it's interesting. Nature is my church.
That's the basics. If you can feel it, you can manipulate it.
Don't even think about using this for any personal gain, karma is a b*ch.

Discovering my self.
Meeting people, it's scary, but it's easier if you believe they will except you for you.

Getting a divorce, but that's not going anywhere, at least we can talk, just not about the divorce (financial dispute)

Drumming on a Djembe or Doumbek.
Drawing abstract / tribal pattern art work.
I like to draw faces and eyes in that style. Eyes especially because they convey emotion, mood and often the eyes of the drawing follow you.

I’m good at T.M.I.
Sometimes not filtering what I say, alcohol makes this worse.

My prescription safety glasses or birth control goggles I think that's a gear head reference.
People always ask me why I always wear my safeties. The reason I don’t switch glasses, is because the difference in the lenses shape, angle, and cut gives me a head ache and takes my eyes a few days to adjust. Yes I’m that blind. Contacts drive me nuts, and I have never been able to successfully put both in at the same time.
I usually dress like a mechanic or repair man, so I can appear normal.
If I don’t need to appear “normal”, then I dress for the occasion, but I usually don't bother...

Books: how to books, Tech Manuals, I don't read a lot of books. I'm mainly interested in fact over fiction, I do most of my reading on the net, researching something of personal interest.
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Movies: A ClockWork Orange, Meet the Feebles, Kinky Boots, East of Eaden, V for Vendetta, Boys Don't Cry, As Good As It Gets, The Harry Potter Series, Pink Floyd The Wall, Fear n Loathing, The Lost Boys, Pan's Labyrinth. I like movies that make you think, or show a point of view from someone else's perspective. Don't watch movies too often. It's nice to do with friends or like a date night, but usually I prefer to be doing stuff, or zoning with the PC. Listening to music. The TV is too distracting for me. I tend to zone on it too much.
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Music:
I identify the most with Pink Floyd, Depeche Mode, Marilyn Manson, Sarah McLaughlin, KMFDM................

I'm a lot more into MUSIC vs TV/MOVIES. Usually I listen to Jack FM (in the car), but it just depends what I'm in the mood for.
Rock in all it's differences and glory, Goth, Ambient, Techno, Industrial,Gothy Dark Techno. Some: country, rap, r&b, soul, jazz, and so forth, some artists i like some not so much, and sometimes I only like a few songs they did. I listen to every thing from some thing like Marilyn Manson to Enya it's a good way of describing it.
This list started in Aug09 and I keep adding band names to it:
Mc900 Foot Jesus, Bloodhound Gang, Razed in Black, Sneaker Pimps, Manson, NIN's, Metallica's old stuff, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, Jimmy Hendrix, Queen, Filter,Gorillas, Front Line Assembly, Haujobb, System of a Down, Listening to all my mp3s Deftones, Lords of Acid, Front 242, Die Form, Tom Petty, Jane's Addiction, Prodigy etc...

Found this awesome cite http://www.last.fm/ when I was reading someones OKC profile. You can find the Russian music there.
Russian music I like: Кино (“Kino”, Russian for Cinema or Movie), t.A.T.u., Владимир Высоцкий (Vladimir Semeonovich Vysotsky), ППК (PPK).
Heartbeat a pagan band
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Food: Generally I prefer good old hardy home cooking. It's cheap and It's not junk food. I'm really tired of junk/fast food, that stuff makes me sick if I eat it too often.
Other Foods: Likely to try it at least ones. I like Chinese, Russian, sushi.
Food can be fun
I like to play with my food
When I'm in the mood I like to cook and experiment with food preparation. Influenced by Thai and Russian cuisine, and some of my own wondering how something would taste. If you mix this and that, cook it in a certain style sort of thing. I usually get the results I'm looking for, but I have had a few disasters, that the dog was willing to eat.

Other than the materialistic necessitates needed for living comfortably consisting of: a roof over my head of some sort, (stationary or mobile)
unfortunately an income of some sort, cause I don't live in a community with a bunch of sharing hippies where we all co-exist. So food, water, shelter.
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These following things are important to me, but I could technically survive with out them. Just that I will not be at all too happy about giving these up.
Befriending people, new experiences, friends, family,
INNER-PEACE / SPIRITUALITY: being introverted; reflecting, grounding, exploring
MELTING IDEAS TOGETHER: Imagination, creativity, creating, communicating, constructing
TOOLS: I want a garage to call my own where I can tinker.
DRUMS: Djembe style hand drum, it helps relieve stress and lets me be creative in a different way. I love creating music, and using a hand drum to communicate with others in a circle as we share and add to the rhythm is a wonderful experience, as long as there is a rhythm and no one is being a power drummer and rolling over everybody else.
NATURE: fresh air, mountains, trees, fields, creeks, lakes...

Where I want to be in the future, what direction/s I want to take my life in.
Why do people treat each other so poorly at times. How can I avoid making thous same mistakes... even though sometimes it's really hard to confront someone on an issue I'm having with them...
Relationship styles: Mono vs Poly vs Open.
Honesty, trust, communication: positive and negative
POLYTROTHISM: The state or practice of maintaining multiple egalitarian relationships, each of which is equal with respect to decision-making and other practical matters.
FRUBBLE: A pleasant emotion of happiness arising from seeing one's partner with another partner. Contrast wibble; See also compersion.
WIBBLE: A feeling of insecurity, typically temporary or fleeting, when seeing a partner being affectionate with someone else. Wibbley: of or related to wibble, as Seeing those two together makes me feel wibbley. Contrast compersion, frubble.
COMPERSION: A feeling of joy when a partner invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship. Commentary: Compersion can be thought of as the opposite of "jealousy;" it is a positive emotional reaction to a lover's other relationship.
http://www.xeromag.com/fvpolyglossary.html

How my life experiences have changed me. My marriage and divorce. How I'm different now than before, because I was too busy to know my self then, always keeping my eyes on the "goal". A lot of the changes I have experienced come directly as a result of the break up. I'm coming to terms of who I am and what I need / want / desire / value in my life.

Traits I do not like about my self:
Shyness: I need to communicate better
Possessive; sometimes a little
Jealous; sometimes when emotions are involved or something is amiss.

My goals in order from short to long term:
Building a network of good folks
Attending Poly and Pagan friendly gatherings,festivals.
My eclectic spirituality and where I'm going with it
Herbology and Alchemy
Getting a good job.
Inventing or rigging new stuff.

Hang out with friends.
Going out... to somewhere? depends on who makes the plans...
Keeping my self entertained `8~) spending introverted time with me
I have not had any sort of regular, reoccurring schedule for the last year, at least one that I have noticed.

If I admit it publicly then it's not private anymore, is it?

With that in mind here's some stuff most people would consider private, but I want to throw it out here so you know.
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I'm shy around folks I don't know well especially when interacting with them in person.

I would rather have someone tell me that they appreciate what i do for them, instead of the normal "Thanks, I love you," kiss, kiss, kiss thing.
I have some issues with the word "LOVE", only because it's misused and used way too often, and it has too broad of a meaning.
At this point I use the word litely, but I don't believe in using it with the people I'm involved with... I would much rather tell them how I feel, and would love it if they did the same.
I do appreciate the concept of LOVE. I just don't think it's a good way to express your feelings for someone else, because the word does have such a broad meaning, and in someways I feel that I have been mislead by the use of that word in the past.

I'm not a private person and my mouth came without a filter!
This usually starts to be true once I start to feel comfortable with the person during face to face interaction, or alcohol is involved. Online I'm a lot more open because all I have to worry about are some crazy people surfing the net.
You should read on for some general things most would consider T.M.I.

Nyotaimori "body sushi" there is a name for it.... yay
I have been wanting to do it for over 10years now... GRRR....

Learning about fetishes on FetLife

Here are some of my general sexual preferences:
This is all respectively with folks I'm comfortable with.
I like to be sensual.
Sucking face or forceful kissing is not my style.
I have an oral fetish.
I want to further explore my fetishes and BDSM.
I'm a sub, learning to be a switch.
I like to be tied up, and flogged. I have recently discovered that flogging is a good way to relieve my back pain. Also if done to my liking, usually this involves a few hours of me being tied up and teased/flogged. I'm into the light floggers. I crave the feeling of release when I finally surrender myself to the moment. In some ways it's better then an orgasm.
I want to play with the idea of being a dom. I think I might enjoy that.
Sensory deprivation while over stimulating the other senses.
Being bit and biting back (clamp down hickeys aren't cool).
Knife play (no blood please), but I do like a good sharp knife.
3somes and orgies are fun with the right folks.

You have read my profile and you haven't ran away yet...
Your honest, with your self and others.
You have a suggestion.
You want to discus something.
some of my interests:
community, polyamory, spirituality, fetishes, cars/machinery, art, cats/animals, camping.