I have just had a curiously entertaining interaction with a 'True Believer' TM who decided to take exception to several of my public answers to questions others I was interested in had responded to previously.

It intrigued me as I have chosen to view the questions as a means by which I can decide my potential compatibility with others rather than as a means to judge others upon their life choices and philosophy (or lack thereof). I, rather naively as it turns out, imagined others did the same.  The more controversial questions will reveal interesting differences in perspective and may lead people to the conclusion that we may or may not be compatible. Which is great as it saves the trouble of going through the whole process of meeting and greeting etc before realising that it was actually doomed from the start because they don't actually believe in the flying spaghetti monster. Actually that isn't really a deal breaker for me. But I would be a tad sadder for the knowledge. Not too many can share such a faith...I just have to deal with the disappointment and move on.

So it was with a degree of mystified wonder that I received mails of outrage from said True Believer. All I can hope is that the particular god he believes in is less judging and more forgiving than he is.  I truly hope that the True Believer (TM) believes THAT or his life will be a miserable one indeed. 

There seems to be a quickness to judge by some members on this site. Let's just say that I'm not keen to walk barefoot through any glass houses any time soon while they are so keen to cast their stones...

This is an expansion of a discussion I was having with one of the 'grass is greener...' individuals I was talking about in the last post. The issue of a person's age. How their physical appearance may not match with their behaviour which may not match with their biological age and why this might be so. 

Why do I find this issue vexing? Simply because in one night I might be chatting to a 32 yr old who says I am too old for her one moment and an 18 yr old who wants to play at another. It is VERY relative AND confusing realising that everyone has their own idea about what is an appropriate age to engage with...and it probably won't be the same as mine!

On this site and others, I have found women in their 20's and up who look far older than their years and the converse is also true where I have found older people in their early 40s and late 30's who retain their youthful looks and vitality. Why is this so? Earlier this year I had a 38 yr old playmate who was youthful and vital and there were sparks flying every which way. She was quite exceptional. And this was after a 4 yr relationship with a 24 yr old who was mature beyond her years but had all the bloom of youth still physically. So I am VERY intrigued by this issue of age and compatibility. I DO find certain under 30 yr olds attractive but will NOT have a relationship with them any more because they are on a different chapter of their life journey to me let alone being on the same page. To date I have avoided those older than me for the fundamental biological imperative...I want the option to have kids. The 30 to 40 range tends to be at the same chapter at least. BUT the disparity between actual age and physical appearance can be MARKED.

I have sometimes wondered whether it is due to becoming a parent (many mothers LOOK like mothers and not in a good way) but I have found enough exceptions to the rule to satisfy myself it's not solely that. I truly believe there is a large portion that really does believe the lie that it's all down hill after 30 and they can let go now, though I am sure it is not a conscious choice on their part.They should all watch Logan's Run and be done with it!

I imagine that a large part does boil down to our genetic coding: Some of us may be late bloomers, others may burn out early..others still may be slow burners and last in their prime for a while, others may never reach it. The Calvinists believed that God had decided who would be saved and who would burn in hell long before the souls came to be made mortal. It was predestined. In the secular world we are born into a genetic maze not of our choosing. In both cases the individual must live the life they have been assigned, either by God or their genes and make the most of it. The one constant? Life ain't fair!

One other factor which arises from the genes. The nature/nurture issue. Both are important. So we have taken care of the nature part BUT life experiences will impact on aging as well. A person who suffers trauma and strife like addiction to drugs and molestation and is negatively emotionally impacted by that will most likely age differently to their identical twin who experiences none of that negativity. There has yet to be any definitive study done on this that I am aware. I think the reason might have something to do with ethics...perhaps...

So the upshoot for me is that I want to be with someone who is vital and youthful regardless of her age (but still potentially able to have children) as that will indicate that she has a) good genes b) a not too traumatic life ( or if it has been then she has the tools to deal with it) and c) following from b, her mental disposition is a positive one.

I sometimes joke that I am immature. What I am meaning (though not always successfully transmitting to the recipient admittedly) is that I'm actually referring to the fact that my inner child is alive and well and I am in constant touch with it. The world remains a wondrous and magical place which continues to inspire awe. Creativity is a critical resource as is the ability to question the unquestionable and think the unthinkable. Many people even in their early 20s have stopped doing that. I think that is when they begin to get old!

That is my somewhat simplistic perspective on the matter. What would you think?

Interesting times have been had. In the Chinese proverbial sense! An amusing message from the Okcupid robot recently informed me that I am now in the top 50% of people regarding my 'attractiveness'! Which means by default, that I have been perceived for the majority of my time on here as being LESS attractive than average according to those who have viewed me. Of course I was blithely oblivious to this fact....until NOW. I am not sure whether I feel good about this or am actually that much less secure than I originally thought on this site. But it was good for a laugh. Lets face it. Online dating is a LOT about the ability to judge a book by its cover! C'est la vie.

And I have to say that I do NOT understand the IM process. There are certain elements of this site that remain opaque to me. Why is it that when looking at a person's profile it may say that they are online but they do not show up as online on my favourites list...what's with that? And whenever I try to message them the response is invariably either: user is offline or user has disappeared. It is possible that it is simply that the users do not want to speak to me. But then it would be nice if they could let me know so I don't have to waste their and my time trying to make contact.

Final observation...why is the grass always greener on the other side? There are very few individuals I would like to meet in Adelaide online here. The numbers are sadly limited. And yet when I looked interstate there are so many potentially wonderful matches...:(

Again....c'est la vie I guess. If I choose to stay here then I must accept Adelaide's limitations. Sigh.

To be fair, it needs to be able to put up with me too..so it's a trade off in the end! lol.

So it has been a few months since I have been using this site actively again. And it's been a roller-coaster ride as usual. It's a little like war...long periods of boredom where nothing happens and then brief moments of madness and mayhem.  So far no-one has copped a bullet that I am aware. 

Apparently there is a perception that I am a player by some who visit my profile. I find this intriguing as I have never fully understood exactly what a player is meant to be. My thought would be that they are deceitful and cynically manipulative. I prefer honesty myself...for what that is worth. It really takes a lot less energy.

My morality may not be standard or normal. I have a larger age range that I enjoy than some are comfortable with and I am comfortable with having sexual partners who may not develop into a serious relationship. That said, I am still serious about entering into a serious relationship with an appropriate individual. And I am looking for her. I might even find her here.

I found my last serious partner on this site. She was 17 years my junior and we lived together happily for 3 years. It was the best relationship I have had to date and I have had several successful relationships in the past. I know it will happen again. I simply need to be patient. I can wait. If, as has happened before, someone turns up who simply wants to have fun then so be it...fun shall be had. And all involved will know where they stand.

Life is too short for BS. I will be honest with people and they are welcome to judge me if they will. I was insulted by an individual who shall remain nameless from this site recently when I tried to IM her. There is a glitch in the site that shows people as being online when they are not. I tried to talk to her and assumed that she was ignoring me. Her response was to tell me that I was a dickwad when she came back online. She then went on to tell me that I was a man whore, which was an interesting choice to come up with. Apparently she had been talking to some mutual acquaintances....nice. I took her out on a date to the movies and a take-away meal a few months back. I actually paid for her which was a big deal for me as I am a poverty stricken student. I didn't ask for anything in return. We concluded the date with the realisation that nothing would develop between us but I didn\'t think it was a bad date. She seemed happy and I respected her boundaries completely. And this was her response...

I have blocked her now. I will continue to be ignored by the majority of individuals I post to I guess. I understand that most girls here are inundated with posts and requests. Good luck to them all. I will settle down and wait and see what pops up. There are one or two who might prove worth while yet. Lets see what happens with them...