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25 Washington, DC Man


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 30–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 5:32am
Hispanic / Latin, White
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body type
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Entertainment / Media
Doesn’t want kids
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
The following is all of my crazy: the good and the bad. Brace yourself.

In 8th grade, to combat a rumor that my best friend and I were dating, we successfully convinced everyone I was betrothed to an Argentine princess, knowing full well Argentina had neither a monarchy nor a custom of arranged marriages. I like all dogs more than most people. Pumpkin is the best flavor ever. Mail-kimp. I love flying but usually drink before boarding to make take-off easier. I think Andrew Christian is just fucking with us. I often zone out, even mid-conversation. It's nothing personal: my brain is just constantly thinking up jokes or plot points for my next story. I'm convinced it's impossible to dislike "The Sign" by Ace of Base*. It's my go-to karaoke song. Given my lifetime of traveling, bilingualism, and years of studying the show, I genuinely think I could win The Amazing Race. Cats are smug. I'm convinced I was the inspiration for the side-eye emoji. I think what the gay community is really missing is a classy martini bar called "Cocktails." I get headaches later in the day if I haven't had enough coffee. I know every line from Clue. I will randomly live tweet inconsequential television events. Birds get INFINITELY more awesome for me every time I remember they're dinosaurs. I hate everyone standing between me and the exit of the Metro (JUST WALK!). Grande soy latte. I like cooking for other people. I love men with accents. I once drove 5 hours for a Blondie concert. It was free. I can't think of anyone I despise more in modern American government than anti-gay, closeted politicians. I honestly have no idea if Wendy Williams is a woman or a drag queen. I'm not pissed off...that's just how my face is (bitchy resting face). I love few things more than podcasts and television. I like peppermint and butterscotch but hate mint and scotch. I pride myself on my ability to shoot tequila without a chaser. I like to play music when taking a shower and watch TV when I write. My cocktail of choice is a Grey Goose and soda with a lime wedge. I hate when people with smart phones write in text speak, overriding the autocorrect that would spell the words properly. Daylight Savings Time is just stupid. I'm exceedingly happy for WAY too long when my music is on shuffle, but it plays the exact song I wanted to hear at that moment. I think people who say I only voted for Obama because he's black only voted for McCain and Romney because they're white. I love both of my brothers equally, but one of them kind of sucks. I don't want kids. Perez Hilton is the worst. I don't care for drag. I think Glee started going downhill with the Lady Gaga episode. I still say Pluto is a planet. I loved Chip 'n' Dale as a kid. Aaron Schock is gorgeous, and I'm kind of glad he resigned in disgrace.

My pet peeve: When people say "Happy (day of the week)" or "hump day."

DEAL BREAKER: If your profile says you're "straight." I'm not going to sleep with you while your girlfriend is out of town, and I'm not going to masturbate on camera for you. Seriously. I'm really surprised that this happens so often, but apparently, it needs a disclaimer.

Also a deal breaker: if, in that one question, you said the Earth is bigger than the sun. I mean, really!? Also, no juggalos.

I love this:

*UPDATE: I recently found someone who does not like that song. She was born after it came out, though.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a reporter and a blogger. I don't have much to say about that, which is ironic, because I write a lot.

Besides that, I'm waiting for the day when Björk, Stevie Nicks, Kate Bush, Madonna, and Debbie Harry do a song together, because I'm pretty sure that would be the greatest song in history.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
...not doing crystal meth. Why is that a thing in our community? I don't get it.

Drinking all the throwing wine.

Also, I'm funny. Not hour-long stand-up funny. I'm more like Twitter-funny, which is another way of saying "not funny."

Olympic sports I would be awesome at: freestyle wine, hypothetical basketball, competitive judging, synchronized Sudoku, coffee decathlon, rhythmic Madonna, side-eye biathlon.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My eyes or my smile.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: 1984, Harry Potter (Azkaban was the best), The Hunger Games, pretty much anything by Hemingway, The Great Gatsby (for the themes of overindulgence and moral corruption...not because of fancy garden parties).

Movies: Clue, Casablanca, Bridesmaids, Love Actually, Anything by Quentin Tarantino or Christopher Nolan, Zoolander, Anchorman, really terrible horror/thrillers that were barely released in theaters but are on Netflix

Music: Blondie (all time favorite. I've seen them in concert 5 times). Other top contenders: Haim (their debut album is almost 100% perfect), KT Tunstall, Madonna, Scissor Sisters, Shakira, Selena, Fleetwood Mac, Rilo Kiley. I also like Lil Kim, Biggie Smalls, and Marina and the Diamonds. I'm starting to get into Taylor Swift, Kate Bush, Ed Sheeran, Pink, Beyonce, Maroon 5, and Kiley Minogue these days.

Food: Argentinean, Brazilian, Italian, Chinese, Japanese. I love food so much. I'm sad that I haven't been able to find a good enchilada or margarita since I left LA. If you want to woo me, just take me to a nice dinner. Oh, and I have this weird thing where I HATE sour cream, ranch, and mayo. It's only a coincidence that they're all white condiments.

TV: Current favorites are The Walking Dead, Shameless, and Game of Thrones. All-time faves are 30 Rock, The West Wing, and Grey's Anatomy. Other great shows: Happy Endings (canceled too soon), Scandal, How to Get Away With Murder, Veep, New Girl, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Weeds, Anything with an alcoholic sidekick (Cybill, Will & Grace, Absolutely Fabulous, etc), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Parks and Recreation, How I Met Your Mother (except the last, like, 3 minutes of the finale), and Friends (I've seen every episode a dozen times, and I watch the reruns whenever they're on). It's weirdly important to me that you like quality television.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Wine, Coffee, iPhone, Pen and Notepad (counting them as one), Press Pass, Most Internal Organs
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My next blog post, why more people don't use the Oxford comma, and a third thing when I'm listing stuff.

Also, the Nisha call.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Having a kiki. Although I'm writing this in bed on a Friday night. Soo...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
1) I don't think I'll ever get over the fact that Ronan Farrow will never love me.

2) My patronus is a dementor.

3) I sometimes make up a third thing when listing stuff.

BONUS! One time, I saw a guy answered this question by writing "i literally ben touch by a angle." I spent several minutes laughing about it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're ready for something serious and hate being coy.

You're ready to hear my theories about Hermione's greatest fear, Neville's real role in the prophecy, how the prophecy is self-fulfilling and made Harry immortal, and how the obstacles protecting the Sorcerer's Stone parallel the protections on Voldemort's horcruxes.