update: OKC has been a total and complete bust of late. lots of people claiming they are something they are not. I'm pretty turned off to the site. to get my attention you need to be real, honest, not pretending to be someone/something you're not, and actually interested in meeting the wonderfulness that is me. otherwise I'll just ignore you. sorry, and nothing personal, but I'm tired of dishonesty and disappointment

queer: not straight; post-normative; not bound by societal dictates; one who engages in non-normative sexual practices; one who thinks outside the gender binary; see satelliteboy

poly: non-monoamorous; one who does not feel that restricting oneself or one's lovers to only one sexual partner is a measure of one's capacity to love; see satelliteboy

boy: anyone who identifies as such, regardless of one's "sex"; see satelliteboy

girl: anyone who identifies as such, regardless of one's "sex"; see satelliteboy

feminist: someone who believes that the gender system is fundamentally oppressive, in particular to those who are identified as women in our society, but also to those who are identified as men; the radical idea that people are people are people are people; see satelliteboy

queer theorist: someone who writes and teaches queer theory for a living; see satelliteboy

kinky: experienced in kink, sm, unconventional sex practices; see satelliteboy

compassionate: caring, empathetic, sympathetic, kind; someone who finds compassion one of the most important traits in oneself and in others; see satelliteboy

activist: someone who, as part of one's daily life, strives to fight social injustice in all its forms (racism, classism, poverty, sexism, capitalism, the republican party, etc.); see satelliteboy

anti-racist: against racism; one who actively fights racism in oneself and in others and who works to educate others about their own racism and to help find ways to combat it; see satelliteboy

hot: sexy, sexual, exuding sex in a queer, pervy, kinky, deliciously fun, and safe and respectful way; see satelliteboy

cuddly: one who is super huggable, loves to cuddle and be cuddled, and has a wonderful soft belly that is fun to squeeze and hold; see satelliteboy

cute: adorable and sweet; one who makes you squishy and happy because of her/hir/his cuteness; see satelliteboy

sensitive: someone who takes other people's words and deeds very much to heart; someone who is not arrogant, selfish, or cold, even if their exterior may project as such; see satelliteboy

teaching feminist, gender, and queer theory, africana thought, phenomenology, psychoanalysis, and ethics; writing feminist, gender, and queer theory, africana thought, phenomenology, psychoanalysis, and ethics

raising a kick-ass child with my kick-ass partner with our kick-ass cats and our kick ass dog working to adopt a second kick-ass baby so i can be raising two kick-ass children with my kick-ass partner with our kick-ass cats and our kick ass dog

looking for new friends, lovers, partners-in-crime

cooking fantastic food

teaching

scrabble and boggle

telling stories

my smile (it's big and warm and happy), my eyes (they're a deep medium brown and they glow and penetrate), my warmth (either i'll want to hug you or you'll want to hug me, or, if we're lucky, both), my femminess (my fagginess?), my head (it's shaved), my belly (i have one -- if this is an issue for you, if you are only into skinny buff boys, i'm not the one for you, which is too bad, cause i'm cute and sexy and wonderful)

books: steppenwolf, demian, glass bead game, hotel new hampshire, harry potter, his dark materials, lost souls, doing it for daddy, the marketplace, the crisis of european sciences and transcendental phenomenology, thinking queerly, the intervention of the other, three essays on the theory of sexuality, gender trouble, gender outlaw, boys like her, read my lips, existentia africana, fanon and the crisis of european man, sick puppy, the firesong trilogy, the noble warriors trilogy, the percy jackson series

movies: willy wonka and the chocolate factory, monsters inc, finding nemo, children of men, secretary, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, heathers, harry potter, casablanca, the rope, dottie gets spanked, velvet goldmine, superstar: the karen carpenter story, the hours, little miss sunshine, when harry met sally, tequila sunrise

music: jonatha brooke, peter mulvey, the weepies, willy porter, the police, bowie (old bowie when he was punk and glam and bi); alanis morisette (yeah, you heard me); neil diamond (yeah, you heard me again!), jeff buckley, dean friedman, mozart, chopin, diana krall, sadao watanabe, tom lehrer, allan sherman

food: thai red curry, navratan korma, lobster, fois gras (the real thing, not the pate), pretzels (hard and soft), cucumbers, crawfish, blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, english farmhouse cheddars, guatemala antigua coffee (especially roasted by torreo), tie-guan yin oolong teas, oregon pinot noirs, german rieslings, burgundies (red and white), belgian white beers, belgian golden ales, belgian red sour ales, serious french and italian chocolate (pralus, valrhona, cluizel, claudio corallo, domori, amedei), olives, cardamom ... i'm a serious chocolate, wine, cheese, tea, and beer snob, and i'm willing to take on protegés

television: buffy, firefly, dr. who, torchwood, criminal minds, family guy, hell's kitchen, xena

kindness, understanding, queers, my family, my friends, and pillows ... lots of pillows

paying my bills (usually in the middle of the night)

my fantasy about hudson leick, ted raimi, and me

home, watching buffy or firefly

or, if you're very, very lucky, maybe ... nah, no need to go in to that here

i'm willing to admit pretty much anything you want to know. just ask. seriously, ask me

ok, ok, you want to know something ... hmmmn, let me see ... well, i have tourette's syndrome. no, i don't go around cursing uncontrollably at people (though there are people i'd like to do this to). actually, it's quite endearing

hmmn, what else ... my secret fantasy is to play charlie brown in a (very queer) stage production of "you're a good man charlie brown" (or, the x-rated version, "you're a good boi, charlie brown" -- but that's a story for a different time)

you identify with something you've read in my profile

you're curious about something you've read in my profile

you are looking for a new lover/make-out partner and think i might fit the bill

DO NOT message me if you care about what's in my pants. i'm so tired of people pretending that they don't care but then really only being interested in their expectations of what they think i am. if this is you, do not message me

oh, and just so you know, i value the ability to communicate and the ability to take responsibility for not only yourself, but also others. too few people in the world take responsibility for either. i've known too many people like that recently. if you're one of them, go away and grow up. i mean it