I throw all my dirty laundry on my bed, and yes it does stink. I refuse to do laundry and insist that you do it. Not just insist, you MUST love to do my laundry and look forward to it all week. Like you look forward to your family after being separated. Like you look forward to morphine after getting shot. Yeah you probably get it now
If I'm out somewhere having a good time, I wouldn't let you know. I wouldn't even be thinking about you. I'd just be soaking in the spirit of the night and then I'll call you late, expecting big-time action. It doesn't matter if I'm drunk or not. Like my laundry, you'll be looking forward to it. Before you ask, it's happening at your place, I don't want you to know where I live, and no, I won't be staying over. Which part of "I'm not a romantic" did you not understand?