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22 F Chicago, IL

My Details

Last Online
Apr 13
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Working on university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
My name is Jessie, like the cowgirl from toystory. I'm just your average wait, that's not right.

I'm left handed, dishwater blonde, and I have freckles resembling the little dipper on my left forearm.

I've been told if I were a mythical creature I'd be a dryad, probably because I like hiding in trees and harassing people.

"Adorkable" says My Friends, "Old Soul" exclaims People Over Thirty Who Talk To Me.

My favorite color is green. I have the worlds lamest superpower as I can gauge the arrival of a bus to the minute.

ENFP personality, whatever the fuck that means.

I love the woods, cemeteries, storms, my dreamatorium, glow-in-the-dark anything, tennis,movies with subtitles, incense, ps3 games, fantasy art and fiction, a good stout, painting, cyborg technology, people watching,wearing costumes, and amateur astronomy.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm studying English (no wait don't leave!) to pursue a career in technical writing after briefly flirting with the idea of becoming a dietitian/vagabond. The world is my Scriptorium.

I've written and been featured in a few articles, whoop de doo. I was out of school for a year and I have an associates. Paying a loan off right now and trying to get side jobs in tech writing (that person who writes essays for money, that's me) until I go back to siu in the fall.

I work at my local pet store to help foot the bill. My favorite part is feeding the snakes baby mice-I'm dead inside :D

I write a lot. Every day is just so bizarre that I have to record things for future generations so that they can repeat our mistakes, but on hoverboards.

I enjoy adventuring with my merry band of miscreants, waking up on other people's couches, and always travel with a bottle opener and a book. I'm no stranger to travelling long distances alone as long as there's someone to meet me at the end.
I’m really good at
Arguing semantics on the internet.

Talking to strangers and convincing them to get in my van.

Doodling creepy shit on myself and others.

Games of chance. I've been accused of cheating after winning 4 consecutive rounds of bingo. We can never go back to wisconsin.

Poorly executed cart-wheels.

Remembering names and long strings of numbers.

Smashing buttons.

Getting over fences.

Making faces.
The first things people usually notice about me
Intellect and Personality!

That's what I named my left and right breast, respectively.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Good Omens, The Abhorsen Trilogy, The Stand, A Storm of Swords, The Andromeda Strain, The Black Glove, Me Talk Pretty One Day.

Movies: Titan A.E., The Princess Bride, Aladdin, Paprika, I Love You Phillip Morris, Harold and Maude, Stardust,Rushmore, Monty Python Meaning of Life, Cats Don't Dance.

Shows: Community, Game Of Thrones, Parks and Rec, Bob's Burgers, Black Books, Aeon Flux, Star Trek, Frisky Dingo, Batman: The Animated Series, Adventure Time, Venture Bros, Teen Titans.

Music: Gorillaz, Amanda Fucking Palmer, Major Laser, Die Antwoord, Childish Gambino, The XX, The Kinks, Lana Del Rey, Parov Stelar, The Asteroids.

Food: chicken kiev, those colorful, high viscosity Asian tea concoctions, black licorice, toast and jam, whiskey, eel sushi, yogurt, tabouleh, turkey legs, lamb neck, creamcheesepickleandham nom nom.

Games: God of War, Shadow of the Colossus , Smash Bro., Settlers of Catan, Golden Axe, Tekken, Heavenly Sword.
The six things I could never do without
hair ties; for hair and other things, like torture.


My backpack.

graphic novels.

cheap wine/expensive beer.

asmr videos.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How frightening self-awareness is.

How every great friend I make eventually moves away, and how can I keep playing this game?

When the next ren faire/meteor shower/active transportation alliance event is.

If i'll ever really make that Star Sapphire costume for next Halloween.
On a typical Friday night I am
Fridays I work until 9pm, so usually I either meet up with friends at the 24 hour diner, catch the last bus to the metra to head downtown, or just go home to a hot bath and a good book. Fridays I usually fast on now, just a thing I like to do once or twice a week. It's.Not. A. Diet.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
If you try to pay for my food after I politely inform you I can buy my own dinner, I will cut out the middleman and knock you unconscious to steal your wallet.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 18–24
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You connect with others through half-hearted sarcasm and cynicism.

You're comfortable in your own skin, and even more comfortable getting under other peoples.

You laughed at my stupid jokes and smiled at my stupid face?