Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I hit 30 and lived. What more do you need to know?
It's a good thing I'm funny. I'm certainly not attractive.
My pictures are old. I'm DEFINITELY fatter now. Like, beached whale
fat. Sea Cow fat, even. But I'm okay with that. One day I'll put up
a new pic. Still healthy though, I bike 30 miles a week bitches
Browsing 'Incognito' means you're a pussy, so grow some balls and
browse openly. What the fuck are you afraid of?!
ENTJ, if you give a shit.
I'd put something dumb here like "I like to laugh and have fun",
but really, I shouldn't have to--you should know.
I think not disclosing your income is pretentious. Who gives a shit
how much money you make, and more importantly, who do you think you
need to answer to for your salary? NO ONE, right?
I am VERY sarcastic. It's actually held me back in my job because I
come off as a supreme dick to my employees. I've changed a lot in
the last few years. I'm now a super-mega-ultimate cock head. Just
kidding! I've always gotten along well with people and I know where
the line is, I rarely cross it. But I do cross it...FYI.
I like upfront and honest people. Friendships and relationships
certainly aren't depositions, but trust is a very important factor
Whenever I get a "It's a Match!" message I giggle. The 2 stars
flying across the screen reminds me of Happy Tree Friends, minus
the ensuing carnage.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I just finished a 14 year run with Burger King and now I'm on my
next adventure. My franchise(TEAM Schostak) bought rights to a new
Fast-Casual pizza concept called MOD Pizza, based out of Bellevue,
Washington. I opened the first of 25 in June, and am moving to
Westland in hopefully 45 days. Why does it take 45 days to write a
mortgage? Fuck if I know.
In my free time I'm either with friends or spending time with my
little brother, niece, and nephew. They're all close in age, and
since my mom passed away last year I try to spend 1 sunday a month
doing something really cool with them.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Managing a Business. I love it.
Being friendly :) I love talking to people. I am very
I've often been told I should be a life coach. Apparently I am good
at giving advice, but to me it's all common sense so I don't get
it. I am all about helping people, but I don't think I want to make
it a profession.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm very bright, both in personality and intelligence. Most people
get annoyed because I ask too many questions. I love to know how
things work or why they work the way they do.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
There are more stars in all the cosmos than there are grains of
sand on all the beaches of earth.
That's your hint.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I could certainly never go without a fuck. I tend to give out a lot
of fucks to a lot of people. No one ever has any, and I feel
obligated to hand them out. It's my contribution to society.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Unless I am getting to know someone I hate focusing on the past.
You will almost always catch me focusing on the future.
I love history, so I go OUT of my way to learn facts about both
World and American history...I know it makes no sense.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Right now it's working, I usually work saturday. I'm always up for
dinner and/or a movie and/or a drink and/or a small roadtrip and/or
breaking international law....oh see what I did there?(Just kiddin
FBI don't taze me bro!)
Overall, I'm more likely to hang out on a Saturday night.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
is I'm willing to admit I have private things :D
And no you cannot have them!!
I firmly believe the word "Vagina" is the one of funniest words in
the English Language and I do anything I can to ensure its use in
my daily vocabulary. I am not ashamed by this nor do I make any
apologies, I don't care how immature or unprofessional it may seem.
All I can say is, don't be a vagina about it.
Also, I am REALLY good with names and faces, like CREEPY good. Like
I saw your profile ONCE, with your picture, and 6 years later I
come back to it and I still remember your name that you typed
because this was your first time on a dating website and you were
really naive and optimistic about your prospects. Now you're just a
bitter whore, but I still recognize that smile and the way your
eyebrow raises when your best friend takes that suprise picture of
you that you're not prepared for and you're like "WTF Bestie??" and
she's like "STFU Fag post it on OKC lololol" and you're like "OKAY
BEST IDEA EVAR THAT'S WHY UR MY BESTIE LULZ!!!".
Seriously though, it's creepy.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you like dates. I like dates. So if you like dates and I like
dates, that means we should go on a date move in together adopt a
cat then buy a house because I want a dog and most apartments won't
let me have the dog I want then we can buy a car together adopt 3
kids and then GET MARRIED. We can talk about the 2nd date later.
*Update* I am in the process of purchasing a home. You're too
This profile is very indicitive of my sense of humor, if you aren't
getting it you won't get me. If you get offended easily, we're
probably better off not getting to know one another. Sarcasm is my
If you are moving forward in life at a moderate pace, and are
looking for some company.
"I enjoy long walks on the beach, talking, and other general
mediocre activities that are extremely unsuccessful at getting into
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.