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34 San Jose, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 26-44
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 9:53am
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
6' 5" (1.96m)
Body Type
Average build
Agnosticism but it’s not important
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids but wants them
Has cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Not that I really buy into astrological signs, but I am definitely a Libra, seeking balance in all things. I like a night out at a bar with friends as much as I like a night in on the couch with Netflix. I'm an engineer by trade, but realized that the more interesting problems involve people and processes, and I'm looking to shift my career to deal with those.

I work out on a regular basis, but I am also an unapologetic food snob and I love to eat. I'm trying to tamp down my snobbery and learning to just enjoy things for what they are rather than comparing them to what they "should" be.

I am polyamorous, which to me means that I look for (and maintain) meaningful connections with multiple women. I'm in a long-term, cohabitative, committed relationship with londonchic and I enjoy relationships that are less intertwines with a few other women.

I'm not interested in hookups or flings (been there, done that). I want someone that I can have long, satisfying conversations with, someone who can be a friend and activity partner, and let any sexual chemistry flow from there.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I've spent a lot of time learning more about myself, reading a lot of non-fiction books to try to understand my own inner workings. Those inward journeys aren't quite as exciting as trips to far-off lands (and you don't get cool pictures of you standing in Machu Picchu), but it's been very rewarding.

I'm also enjoying being a homeowner and really making my house my own. I got irrationally giddy when my new roof was put on (it's a story, ask me about it)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I make a pretty mean pizza dough. And I can interject random quotes from a variety of cartoons and movies into everyday life! Who doesn't want that?

I also seem to be able to get people to open up to me. Not sure there's anything that I specifically do to elicit this, but I'm happy that people seem to feel comfortable enough with me to share.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Because I'm tall and kind of an introvert, I feel like most people's first impressions of me are that I'm stand-offish. I prefer to think of it as just me taking a while to get my engines going. :)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Too many to name them all... The Incredibles, Pitch Perfect, Serenity, Tombstone, 28 Days Later, The Dark Knight, The Avengers, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. I do have a weakness for buddy action/comedies, revenge flicks, and shallow acapella musicals. Also pretty much anything by Joss Whedon, Brad Bird, or Chris Nolan.

TV Shows
I've been without cable for a few years now, which makes me a little more selective in my watching habits. How to Get Away With Murder, Brooklyn 99, iZombie, Agent Carter, Agents of SHIELD, Archer, The Walking Dead, Sherlock, Game of Thrones, The West Wing, Newsroom, and anything else written/created by Aaron Sorkin.

I will go hog-wild on pizza, as well as Mexican, Japanese, Chinese, or Italian food. I'm trying to build up my cooking repertoire beyond the traditional "guy" staples, like grilled things, fried things, and pizza. (Though I did find an amazing fried chicken recipe recently!)

I think I have a pretty eclectic taste. I have the following stations on Pandora: Trance (BT, Tiesto, Oakenfold); 90's R&B (Blackstreet, En Vogue, Tupac); Chick Rock (P!NK, TLC, Kelly Clarkson); Trip Hop (Massive Attack, Thievery Corporation, Moby); Dubstep (edIT, deadmaus)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Water - At the risk of sounding glib, I drink water like it's going out of style.
Human contact - I used to think of myself as an introvert. As I've gotten older, I've realized how rewarding being around other people can be!
Sunlight - I could never be truly a night owl. Nor could I live in the Pacific northwest. I needs me some sun!
A Nearby Beach - I grew up half a mile from the beach, and it's killing me that it's more like half an hour from the beach where I'm living now. I love the ocean, I love the sand, but I don't love the inevitable tourists that it attracts.
Proper Seasonings - Even if it's just (kosher) salt and fresh ground balck pepper. I can't stand bland food!
Exercise - When I was younger I was ok with just being a bump on a log. Now I hate that feeling of lethargy.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Relationships. Love. Lust. Polyamory. Sex. Needs vs Wants. Desire. Communication. Friendship. Connections. Intimacy. Expectations. Motivation. Purpose.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm just as happy staying in, ordering a pizza and popping in a movie as I am going out to a schmancy restaurant or having a few friends over. Also, I'm not exactly into the club scene, but definitely I love going out to nice chill bars and having a few drinks. And if you're really into it, I can probably be convinced to go out dancing. (Let's be honest, it wouldn't be hard!)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I recently joined a local a capella group.

Yes, it was a decision largely influenced by Pitch Perfect.

Yes, I'm a little sad that Anna Kendrick isn't in my group (but there's still hope for the future!)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- You're polyamorous yourself, or are open to the idea of dating someone who is.
- You love the idea of smashing the patriarchy and messaging a guy first!
- You've got a favorite local bar or restaurant that you would love to share.
- You're up for some kind of physical outing for a date (trail run, bike ride, hike, swim, etc.)
- There's at least one movie or TV show that you can quote word for word (or close to it).
- You can say something more interesting than "hi," "what's up," or "interesting profile" in your opening message.