As a literary technique, this is called a hook, and it served its purpose of presenting an initial impression of myself to readers as an individual who is artistically articulate, socially rebellious, and philosophically deep.
I got bored with the gambit and changed it to a single sentence: "If all the world's a stage, you'll find me puking in the mezzanine."
Messages dropped by about 90%.
That Werner Herzog movie where he turns casual events into an existential crisis.
That HBO show where they screw in old-timey clothes.
Send me the saddest shit with the most haunting vocals you can find. Elliot Smith covering Cat Power or something. If you make me cry, I'll pay for dinner.
Hendrick's, Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Skirt Steak - Medium Rare, Baby Bok Choy simmered in garlic.
...I wish this were the plot device in an indie film in which complex psychological issues were mediated and superficially resolved during a denouement with a dance competition, but unfortunately this is my unscripted, personal human experience and I have not yet learned how to tango.
you ruined your life by investing in dogecoins.
you won last year's game of Cicada 3301.
the first time you saw the acronym "LTR" on here you had to think for a second because you knew they probably weren't talking about long terminal repeats.
you have stories from work that are technically prohibited by your confidentiality agreement but you want to tell anyway because they reflect poorly on humanity.