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scarfjoint

60 M Seattle, WA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:08pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Buddhism, and laughing about it
Sign
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Management
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Offspring
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
First things first: Scarf joint is a woodworking term, not a reference to cannabis!

Update: I've come to realize that I'm most interested in meeting people who are in open relationships and who also share my love of participatory outdoor activities - running, hiking, cycling, sailing - and building friendships from these shared experiences. Physical intimacy is optional, not mandatory, and not the only point of connection.

Warm, thoughtful, insightful, very open and curious about all things human, introspective, intellectual but not stuffy, very passionate, independent and self-directed, physically fit and trim (I run, bike, work out weekly). Although I can be quite social, I also need time to myself for writing, thinking, creative recharging, etc. I'm in a very long term relationship that is happy, healthy and supportive - we were monogamous for many years and are now exploring non-monogamy - open marriage. I have a very full, committed, busy life that includes many friends and loved ones already, but I really do want more friends in my life who are comfortable with open relationships. And my interest isn't focused on finding lovers - I'm interested in friendships with like-minded people. If sex happens, it's because it'll make sense to both of us. If it doesn't, we have lots of other ways to share and communicate our growing friendship.

Oh, and I don't look or feel remotely my age, which is actually 60. It's partly exercise and attitude, but mostly genetics. Once I hit my early forties it was as if the aging process slowed way down - very weird, but not unwelcome! Isn't that what happens to people bitten by vampires? Geez, hadn't thought of that!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Shaking up my long held paradigms in favor of increased self expression and joy.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening with an open heart and mind
Leadership
Writing impassioned, philosophical, poetic (and sometimes aimlessly discursive) pieces on being human and the human condition, as well as less interesting technical writing.
Endurance based amateur sports (run, cycle, etc,)
Analytical thinking
Empathy and insight
Creating order out of chaos in a crisis
Business development
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Warm smile, attentive and engaging. I'm fascinated with how people experience and live their lives, what wisdom they've garnered, what ideas they've latched on to, and generally what they've learned from their time here. So, people notice that I'm actually listening and asking engaging questions, not just making small talk, right out of the gate. I can also be very charming, I'm told, but it isn't my intent to charm, just to be genuinely present, so the charm thing kind of throws me, honestly.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Writers and thinkers - Joseph Conrad, Rilke, T.S. Eliot, Thucydides, Nietzche, Eudora Welty, Faulkner, and too many more to list.

Periodicals - New York Times, Huffington Post, New Yorker, Economist, Foriegn Affairs, The Sun - I'm an avid reader so the list could go on and on.

Movies- Her, Raging Bull, Thin Red Line, Bourne series, Matrix, Days of Heaven, The Shining, Four Easy Pieces, Blood Simple, No Country for Old Men, My Own Private Idaho, Lina Wertmuller's films, Juno, Chinatown, Beasts of the Southern Wild, and the list goes on.

Music - White Stripes, Chopin, Bill Evans, Stevie Ray Vaughn, BB King, the Stones - low brow, high brow, funk, fusion, indie, more, more, more.

Food - anything fresh. Really. Love well-prepared, fresh, garden-grown, local food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Passionate physical intimacy
True friendship
Intense physical exercise
Something to write with
Clean food and water
Family
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to carve out time for all my many interests, passions, friends and family. And how to work less and play more, after a lifetime
of workaholism.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Writing or reading until I fall asleep! More of a morning person. Or out with friends for dinner, music or a movie.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Ok, here's one: I don't identify as straight, gay or bi - these categories feel increasingly meaningless to me on a personal level, although they clearly have real importance culturally and politically. I identified as straight and monogamous for most of my life, and the vast majority of my sexual experience is, in fact, with women, but my personal evolution has moved away from categorization in general. I listed myself as bi in my profile because okc requires a selection. In truth, I have emotionally connected relationships, some of them include sexual intimacy, most do not. As a filter for attraction and desire, gender and orientation are rapidly losing their significance.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 40–65
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are in an open relationship or willing to be friends with someone who is, and are comfortable exploring sex and emotional intimacy outside of monogamous relationships, or at least talking about it. I realize for many people what I'm suggesting is heresy, but after a lot of soul searching, head examining and reading/writing, I've concluded that ethical non-monogamy is not only possible, it's preferable. After many decades of loving, committed monogamy, my partner and I are willing to explore a more open and expressive way of being in the world. So, if you've come to similar conclusions, by all means, contact me and let's chat!