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25 Houston, TX Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 25–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
5′ 11″ (1.81m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs
English (Fluently), C++ (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My life is significantly less of a train wreck than it used to be. I went to film school, spent some time slinging coffee for the man and telling dick jokes on stage whilst blackout drunk. Now I work a dumb office job in a dumb cubicle. I'm something of a weekend warrior now so no, I don't really want to get shitfaced on a Wednesday with you.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working a lot, stumbling around montrose, twerking my ass off.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm really good at looking ugly when I sleep and adorable when I wake up.

Also recognizing every voice actor in Bojack Horseman
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm tall. Not like stupid tall but tall for a girl. Guys always seem surprised by that.

Physically either that I'm overweight (and no, I'm not fishing for compliments. I'm being honest) or have big lips. Otherwise my amazing sense of humor and vulgarity.

Also I get asked a lot what my ethnicity is or told that I look exotic. Sorry to disappoint, I'm German/Russian. Nothing too exotic there.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Hand me anything about zombies, drug addicts, mental illness, or historical fiction and I'm all over it

Movies: Horror movie junkie and Judd Apatow fan girl

Shows: Everything on HBO and Showtime, Sherlock, whatever's playing on Adult Swim or Comedy Central

Music: 90's alternative makes my heart flutter. If you know and like Harley Poe, message me. There's a good chance we're soulmates.

Food: I'm obsessed with Thai food, also Tex-Mex. You can't go wrong with spicy
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My legs (does that count as one or two?)
Belligerent optimism
My bed
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Oh shit, did I come up with that joke or have I heard it somewhere before!?

I wish the Wonder Twins had their own tv show/Chris Nolan movie.

That some 16 year olds must get pregnant on purpose to get on MTV. Where are they now?

That I'm not embarrassed when people I know find my OKC but I'm really annoyed when I'm highly matched with douchebags I went to high school with. Maybe I'm a douche too and just never knew it :(
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Hanging out with friends, getting drunk and playing board games, reading a book, drawing/painting, arguing about batman with strangers at a bar... It all depends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I let a guy serenade me with John Mayer songs and didn't laugh in his face.

I do a killer Avril Leveigne impersonation. Actually I think I'm more proud of that than anything else. It takes a lot of talent to sound that bad.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're not a murderer or rapist. Seriously, I don't want to hang out with the theiving-raping-murdering type.

If you don't think you'd be freaked out by my phone wallpaper affectionately named "catboobs"

Or if you would like to do more than just fuck me.