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scottish_pirate

28 M Las Vegas, NV

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 6:22pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from law school
Job
Law
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Poorly), Latin (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Disclaimer: I am only half Scottish, but I do own an authentic kilt.

I am a smartass. The pleasant kind. Though born and raised in the fine state of Tennessee, I have always wanted to escape the chicken-fried clutches of the South. This led me to a midwestern law school, and after discovering it was pretty much the same old same old there, I moved to California to start a career as an attorney. After a stroke of good luck, I got hired out of nowhere for a firm in Vegas that does all kinds of cool work in the fields of intellectual property and First Amendment law. It's good stuff.

I am an unabashed nerd, with a love of video games, comics, anime, theatre, and campy movies. Chocolate also occupies a large space in my heart. Other hobbies include incredibly silly dancing and fervent argumentation.

I am a good conversationalist with a hefty mound of snark, accompanied by a willingness to speak on almost any subject, whether or not I have any knowledge of it. I can appreciate a good time in any form, be it dancing, good conversation, watching old movies, or singing incredibly bad renditions of 80s power ballads.

Also, my Marklar is huuuuge. Like, you have no idea.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working at the coolest damn job for a law firm in Vegas. It involves free speech, intellectual property, and porn.

And for right now, enjoying the warm after-glow of having finished a bar exam.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Video games, writing, making a fool of myself in public without a hint of visible shame, arguing people into submission (not unlike using a linguistic club on an unassuming and delicious baby seal), being wildly inappropriate, looking good in a suit, littering mundane conversations with obscure cultural references, and talking people out of starting bar fights.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Half notice my partially white hair (a natural phenomenon). The other half take note of my voice, which many have likened to that of a radio announcer.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: A Confederacy of Dunces, World War Z, 1984, Battle Royale, Enders Game, Y: The Last Man, Sandman, the Song of Ice and Fire series, Mother Night, Sophie's Choice.

Movies: Rocky Horror Picture Show, Big Fish, Mary and Max, Shaun of the Dead, V for Vendetta, The Big Lebowski, Pan's Labyrinth, The Room (because Tommy Wiseau is a GENIUS), Blue Valentine.

TV Shows: Twin Peaks, Community, Mad Men, Firefly, Weeds, Dexter, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Arrested Development, Archer, 30 Rock, Venture Brothers, Sherlock, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad.

Music: Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Blind Melon, Daft Punk, The Polish Ambassador, Johnny Cash.

Food: An array of nationalities, but I have a particular affection for Thai iced tea, sushi, and anything Italian.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A vehicle (at least while in most of America)
Laptop (Reddit falls into this category)
Hot chocolate with Kahlua
Video games
Robust conversation
Cards Against Humanity
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
1). How utterly dysfunctional the country's political system is right now.
2). Whether the current trend of intellectual property proliferation will be reversed within my lifetime.
4). The implications of a dubstep gun.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Wrestling bears.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I spent three years getting paid to dress as Richard Simmons and perform a Sweating to the Oldies routine.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like the idea of someone who talks well, listens better, has effectively no reservations, is possibly smarter than you, possesses a profound degree of snark, and at all times remains a consummate gentleman unless you request otherwise.

I like women who are smart, sharp-tongued, gorgeous, nerdy, ambidextrous, precogniscient, and possibly prosopagnosiatic. And those who want to both pet and not pet Shcrodinger's cat.

I enjoy loquacity, so please send messages with more substance than "hi how r u." Extra points will be awarded for messages in limerick form.