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28 M Minneapolis, MN

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
A little extra
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs

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My self-summary
My profile is best viewed using the full OkCupid site (not the mobile app) on a computer (not a mobile device). That being said...

Should You Go Out With This Guy?:
A Single Girl's Guide to Online Dating (link)
1. I message you something original, witty and compelling. You immediately look at my pictures (as usual)
2. How do I look? I'm...cute! Maybe a bit of questionable facial hair but sure, you'd still go there
3. Do I have a job? YES
4. Do I know the difference between your/you're and their/there/they're? YES
5. Does my profile reference Magic or World of Warcraft? NO
6. Do I wear a fedora or have suspiciously over-groomed eyebrows? NO
7. Do I read books? YES
8. Is my favorite book The Da Vinci Code? NO
9. Am I looking for commitment? YES (!)
What I’m doing with my life
"Wait a second...So you're saying MEN can be librarians?" - Gabe, Penny Arcade
The Couch Dialogues (link)

Actually, I am a mild-mannered media specialist for a great metropolitan middle school. What IS a media specialist, though, and what does one do, you ask? Well, among (MANY) other things, I try to give average American girls hope, and help them to make choices to rise above the stats:
Cause and Effect: How the Media You Consume Can Change Your Life (link)

I am also a "competitive wordsmith," for which I was featured in an article in THE WALL STREET JOURNAL (link) #ImKindOfABigDeal
I’m really good at
Avoiding having to parallel park. PARALLEL PARKING-FREE SINCE 2003

Throwing out "cringe-worthy one-liners." THREE-TIME WINNER OF PUNDAMONIUM (link)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
"What REALLY matters is WHAT you like, not what you ARE like. Books? Records? Films? THESE things matter. Call me shallow, but it's the fucking TRUTH" - Rob Gordon, High Fidelity

Books: 28 "Favorite" Books That Are Huge Red Flags (link)
Oh, and comic books/graphic novels...ALL THE COMIC BOOKS/GRAPHIC NOVELS
Currently reading: The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman, for July's installment of Books & Bars (link)

Food: "I think garlic bread would have to be my favorite all-time food. I could eat it for every meal. Or just constantly, without stopping" - Scott Pilgrim, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Currently eating: I recently ended my relationship with the love of my life (carbohydrates). Now, several long and lonely weeks later, I may or may not have drunk dialed her during a moment of weakness and told her that I want her back. I just...I JUST MISS HER SO MUCH

Movies: (Almost) anything written and/or directed by Alfonso Cuaron (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Children of Men, Gravity), Christopher Nolan (Memento, Batman Begins, The Prestige, The Dark Knight, Inception, The Dark Knight Rises), Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 28 Days Later, Sunshine, Slumdog Millionaire), Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream, The Wrestler, Black Swan), David Fincher (Seven, Fight Club, Zodiac, The Social Network, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo), Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The World's End), James Cameron (The Terminator, Aliens, Terminator 2: Judgment Day), Kevin Smith (Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Clerks II), Martin Scorsese (Gangs of New York, The Aviator, The Departed, Shutter Island), Quentin Tarantino (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill Vol. 1, Inglorious Basterds, Django Unchained), and Wes Anderson (The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, The Darjeeling Limited, Moonrise Kingdom)
Currently seeing: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Music: A.C. Newman, Aimee Mann, The American Analog Set, Bloc Party, The Chemical Brothers, Cloud Cult, Death Cab for Cutie, The Decemberists, Explosions in the Sky, Haley Bonar, Interpol, Jimmy Eat World, Lana Del Rey, M83, The Magnetic Fields, Mates of State, Metric, Mogwai, Mumford & Sons, The New Pornographers, Of Monsters and Men, Ozma, Phoenix, The Postal Service, Radiohead, Regina Spektor, The Rentals, Rogue Valley, The Rural Alberta Advantage, Sigur Ros, Stars, Sufjan Stevens, Weezer, Wilco, and Wolf Parade
Currently listening to: "Awake," the latest album by Tycho

Shows: 30 Rock, Arrested Development, Battlestar Galactica, Boardwalk Empire, Bored to Death, Breaking Bad, Call the Midwife, Community, Deadwood, Downton Abbey, Freaks and Geeks, Game of Thrones, House of Cards, House of Lies, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, LOST, Mad Men, The Mindy Project, Modern Family, The New Girl, The Newsroom, The Office, Parks and Recreation, Sons of Anarchy, The Sopranos, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, True Detective, Undeclared, The West Wing, and The Wire.
Oh, and cartoons/animated series...ALL THE CARTOONS/ANIMATED SERIES
Currently watching: Orange Is the New Black
The six things I could never do without
1. Carbohydrates
2. Carbohydrates
3. Carbohydrates
4. Carbohydrates
5. Netflix
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The fact that, by day, I teach students the basics of Internet safety (never chat with or open emails/messages from strangers, never send pictures to strangers or view pictures that strangers send to you, never share your name, phone number, or address with strangers, etc.), while by night, I sign in to OkCupid and...well, you get the idea. MY LIFE IS A LIE

Also, whether or not this is actually true (and if it is, WHY I AM STILL SINGLE):
The perfect man is a geek with facial stubble...women's secret turn-ons revealed (link)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Whenever "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus starts playing, I WILL start movin' my hips like yeah. See Also: "We R Who We R" and "Die Young" by Ke$ha

Fun Fact: All three of those songs were written and produced by Dr. Luke, 2010's "Songwriter of the Year." WHY DO I KNOW THAT???
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 23–33
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
"I'm a [media specialist], alright? THAT'S what matters to me...THAT'S who I am...THAT'S what I do! Who are YOU? What's YOUR contribution? You're cute? And you've got a flat stomach? And you're young? Why am I trying to impress YOU??? Why don't YOU tell me about YOUR goddamn life and try to impress ME!!!" - Louis C.K., Louie, but seriously, you should message me if you think that you would be a better date than a book:
11 Books That Make Great Dates (link)

Or (on a related note) if you are this girl:
You should date a girl who reads (link)

Or (ESPECIALLY) if you are this girl:
I'm Such a Nerd (link)