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24 Oakland, CA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18-35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 2:29pm
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
5' 5" (1.65m)
Body Type
Special Diet
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat), Latin (Somewhat), Chinese (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
There seems to be a weird emerging sub-genre of people explaining to men what it's like to be a women on a dating site/dating/having sex/something something millennials hooking up. If this is a cool new revolution in theory of mind, I'm all for it.

And if you're a guy and feel like defying gender norms by describing in interesting detail what it's like to be you (on this site, or elsewhere if you prefer), I'd be interested. But here are the things about what it's like to be me that affect what my profile is like.

It's dangerous to even *mention* sex. The second I do, the fraction (but not number!) of messages that interest me plummets towards rock-bottom. I'm a dangerous woman (citation needed) so I persevere, but it kinda sucks, and encourages more sexual austerity than I'd like to see from myself on a dating profile.

A lot of people who message me here know me from irl. That's cool, but if you want to ask me out, you're also welcome to do it the old-fashioned way (by text or Facebook message, obviously). I never think less of people for asking me out, even if I say no (doing so would introduce some perverse incentives, no?). I tend to think more highly of them for asking someone out, which I'm usually too scared to do.

No matter how much I like to write shit on the internet (and I do), I can't help but think there's something a bit crass about asking me or someone else to describe themselves right off the bat. I'd rather sidle into it a bit. Then if we decide if it's less than unlikely that we'll end up spilling our guts to the blank and awkward apathy of someone who, we've all realized too late, could never be anything but a stranger, okay, fine, I'll spill my guts. Otherwise I imagine you accidentally happening upon my soul here, it looks like one of those pale, half-dead worms you see on the sidewalk after it rains a lot, and raising a single justifiably skeptical eyebrow.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Nearly all of my favorite things. I work at a badass nonprofit in SF. I collect mushrooms in the woods. I cultivate a growing collection of exotic herbs. I eat a shitload of vegan hot pockets. I live with my best friend. I write some stuff on the internet, usually about mycology or pandemics or something else that's kinda creepy and kinda cool. I watch videos of hero dogs on the internet and cry about how beautiful and earnest and true they are.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
reading fast (like, really fast), having long conversations that actually go somewhere, cooking vegan quiche. Getting so excited I run when I try ti walk. Taking people more seriously than they take themselves. Eating my cuticles (those angles get rough, man). Playing the Devil's Advocate. Generally and genuinely giving a fuck about things (for those of you with no fucks left to give, I'm so sorry, dating must be very difficult).
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My curls are teetering on the edge of chaos.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Infinite Jest, East of Eden, Paradise Lost (books 1 and 2), Blood Meridian, John Williams' Augustus, The Brothers Karamazov, Death's Jest Book, 1984, A Clockwork Orange, Oryx and Crake, the Oresteia, Dangerous Laughter, Never Let Me Go, Watchmen, Mating, The Orphan Master's Son. Federico Garcia Lorca, Philip K. Dick, Neil Gaiman, Richard Matheson, Brom.

Movies: The Silence of the Lambs, Natural Born Killers, Moonrise Kingdom, Requiem for a Dream, Nightcrawler, The Prestige, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Django Unchained, The Dark Knight.

Shows: The Walking Dead, Black Mirror, House of Cards, South Park, Game of Thrones, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Rick and Morty's pretty funny.

Blogs: Usually, I like to explain everything, but these are so special they stand on their own. Slate Star Codex, The Last Psychiatrist, Mallory Ortberg on The Toast.

Other stuff I really like: Louis CK, Andrew Scott as Moriarty (him asking for a stick of gum is scarier than anything most people ever do), Monotropa uniflora, luminism, xoloitzcuintlis.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
a pencil and paper, my lighter, my taser, and my ring. And everything they stand for.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Effective altruism and animal activism, climate engineering (women are underrepresented in the mad sciences, and I want to change that!), feral children, salvia, life in the past, life in the future...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
, I hope.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
this makes me cry
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to tell me about an unusual belief you have.

You're into the concept of arete.

You too can screw your courage to the sticking place, but prefer messaging cuties on the internet to regicide.

You'd like to recommend a book to me to maintain plausible deniability for wanting to ask me out while establishing contact. Or you'd actually like to recommend a book to me.

I'm dating some other people. Perhaps you are too. I will refrain from asking you to have a threesome with anyone as the price for getting to know me. I hope you extend the same courtesy.