A personality flagrantly unsuited to online dating. I might write a shoot-the-moon honest profile in the near future. I am trying to achieve summery good times with cool people. I aint never been to jail.

Slouching towards real personhood. My friend's roommate has a crazy pitbull that I take to the park as often as I can. Our playtime together is pretty much the greatest thing I've ever done.

- Being polite
- Speaking cautiously and then speaking surely
- Cooking

When I was little my mother warned me that if I dwelled too much on the Rwandan genocide my face would stay that way. It did.

Go-to movie when trying to sound cool is Being There, a gentle dramedy with Peter Sellers and Shirley MacLaine. A gentle dramedy. Why am I still alive?

My favorite female writer is Alice Munro and my favorite male writer is Bernard Malamud. My favorite Polish-born Jewish American is Isaac Bashevis Singer. I'm also big into Mike Lupica.

I like sweetness, fattiness, and smokiness, but I also like vegetable tastes too. I find cooking skills and food savvy much more attractive than foodie-ism. Foodies are lame.

The entropic heat death of the universe, the unknowability of people, the transience of personality and inner life, why there are zero good grocery stores in my neighborhood.

I googled "what does driving feel like" the other day. Brooklyn-born invalid here.

Don't worry about messaging me.

If I message you with a weird link or a picture or some nonsense noise, it's because I truly like your presented self and don't feel like kidding you with the old "I totally read Love and loved it so let's mash our genitals together over brunch" routine. Slope or Slope-adjacent friends to do stuff with would be cool.