We have reached a time in the history of the United States of America when it has become incumbent upon us spread our ideals of democracy, our economic and political influence, and secure the natural resources we will need as we proceed farther into this new century. A brief historical review is necessary.
 
After winning our Independence from the oppression of Great Britain in the late 18th century, we fought another war starting in 1812 with our 'mother country'.  It was not much of a war; marked mostly by the burning of our national capital, along with the battle Battle of New Orleans actually being fought after the peace treaty had been signed.  We did better in 1848, when we attacked a Mexico badly weakened with internal domestic chaos, making our invasion much easier.  As a result of that war we were able to liberate and add the states of New Mexico, Arizona, California, Nevada, Utah, and Colorado to our wonderful country, carrying forth our Manifest Destiney. 

 

The Hearst Newspaper war, sometimes mislabeled in the history books as the Spanish-American War of 1898, had more mixed results.  We took over Cuba briefly, but then prematurely gave it independence before instilling in the Cubans the principles of a Jeffersonian Democracy. Various dictators ruled Cuba until the country was taken over the by the Communists under Fidel Castro in 1959.  The Philippines provided the U.S. wonderful military bases in Asia for many years.  We still own Puerto Rico (although some have quite reasonably argued that is not such a great thing), whose citizens have all the privileges of the United States, with very few of the obligations. 

 
In the 1930s we were able to protect the interests of various American Mining and Banana Companies by temporarily 'liberating' some Central American nations, such as Nicaragua. They still do love us so there! We protected Europe from aggressors in both WW I and WW II, along with defeating the Japanese (at least militarily, if not economically!). The Korean War has proved to be a 1/2 century plus draw; while Vietnam apparently did not teach us NOT to get involved in a land war in an Asian country whose culture we did not understand! We did win some significant powerhouse wins over Grenada and Panama in the 1980s. On the other hand, rather dramatic and high casualty days in Lebanon and Somalia, proved to be a bit of a negative; and Afghanistan has proved itself to be rather intractable for many years.  But the unholy and horribly unspeakable mess in Iraq has really influenced me to write this proposal.  There are certainly advantages and disadvantages to all wars; such as going to war with the Army you have, rather than the Army you would like to have, as so eloquently explained to us by our  wonderful former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.  And while I am sure that there are people who will attack my proposal that we invade Canada, I would beg that you consider the top 10 reasons for such an invasion.
 
10. Canada is close to us geographically.  The logistics of fighting a war against Canada are far simpler than fighting a war on the other side of the globe, such as with Iraq.

9. A lot of English speaking Canadians sometimes really like us.  I have been told by many of these Canadians that being in the United States is almost like being in Canada [just with more violent crime and without the Health-care Benefits].

8. Canada has an excellent system of highway and other transportation facilities and about 90% of the Canadian population live within 200 miles of United States border. 

7. Canada has an abundance of outdoor recreation areas, lumber, clean water, open land, no border with Mexico that needs fencing, and a literate and highly educated workforce.

6. Virtually all Canadians speak English (Definitely a higher percentage of people than speak English in the United States!), the majority of them as their primary language, and almost all the French Canadians speak English as a second tongue.  This will drastically cut down on the need for translators during both the invasion and while incorporating most of Canada into the United States (we should probably cut the province of Québec loose, and let them live the dream of being their own country---who wants them anyway.  Certainly not the English speaking Canadians, who have lived with them in discontent forever!).

5. Canada has historically had a higher rate of unemployment than the United States, thus providing the US with a ready supply of willing workers for the crummy jobs Americans don't want to do. 

 

4. Canada has a much more very favorable reputation amongst all those ‘dirty foreigners’ out there than the United States does, and perhaps part of that favorable reputation will rub off on us if we 'liberate' Canada?

3. A 'liberated' Canada will probably hasten the United States adoption of the metric system, thus bringing us into sync with the rest of the world.

 

2. The Washington State National Guard could occupy British Columbia, allowing them to go home to the US for weekend leave nearly every week.

 
And finally; the number one reason for the United States to 'liberate' Canada :
 
1. The ‘Oil Sands’ of Alberta, with 274 billion barrels of oil, will provide the U.S. with energy independence from the rest of the damn world for more than 100 years!

 

I exchanged a couple of emails with a Lady who strongly expressed beliefs in BOTH Christianity and Astrology; the latter of which is defined as: The study of the positions and aspects of celestial bodies in the belief that they have an influence on the course of natural earthly occurrences and human affairs. I asked her how she reconciled those two beliefs. I DID NOT ask it an offensive way, but more off the hand, while complimenting her for several things. I do not feel that is an invalid question given Lev.19:26; Dt.18:10-12; Is.47:13-14; and Jer.10:2. Whether or not the two belief systems are irreconcilable, I would hope that all people would accept the following response of 1133 words is a bit ‘over the top,’ to say that she was not interested in me.

"I went into an asthma attack this morning at 6:19 and didn't recover for a few hours. I am PHYSICALLY and emotionally DRAINED right now. It is particularly difficult because I am still congested a bit from the cold I caught that is starting to improve in the last two days now. I am really trying to stay OUT of the cold weather as much as possible, not even going to the grocery store or anything as yet, since just before Christmas, because it is so taxing on respiratory issues. I am just cooking up whatever is around here; more oatmeal for example. A neighbor, checking on me, was kind to buy and bring me some toilet paper. Mine is not a 'glamorous' life by ANY stretch; it amazes, amuses, and even irritates me as well at this point in my life, when someone seems to FANTASIZE that it IS in some way something OTHER THAN WHAT IT IS, behind the scenes. There IS NO 'behind the scenes' in my life, anymore. Not for over a decade! I am not a DANCER now, to HAVE to have 'two lives' in a sense; the actual home life and the 'persona'. It is ALL up front before the LORD and whomever else is interfacing with me in it. The Lord OWNS ME and MY LIFE IS HIS. He bought me with His GREAT LOVE FOR ME! HE IS MY ENTIRE LIFE AND ALL THAT SUSTAINS ME, as I have grown too 'war weary' from the onslaught of HASSLES in life to really be UP TO dealing with it all, even for myself, anymore. All that I have BEEN through in my life--- ALOT MORE than YOU have ANY idea about--- has taken an accumulative TOLL to where NOW I just don't welcome MORE of it, when it comes, as it STILL comes, because I can't DEAL WITH ALL THAT HAS ALREADY HIT ME IN THE FACE, as it is, both literally and figuratively. I am middle-aged, I have PTSD, and I AM TIRED! I want PEACE, "SHALOM" = nothing missing or broken, now. Anything, anyone, not bringing (or contributing to) that is seen by me as a liability now, and I immediately react in 'protective' mode."

I WILL answer here specifically that I AM TIRED NOW, and have NO desire to explain any perceptions of me reconciling anything with anything. (I didn't create religion OR astrology; I just live in a world where facets of BOTH seem to have their apparent truthful reference points, to which I referred for expedition in an otherwise more tedious category of 'labeling'.) It takes ALL my ENERGY at THIS point JUST to LIVE each day and be who God is Calling me to be! I long ago tired of DEBATING; to me now it is mostly useless and cyclical, as there really IS no definitive, bottom line answer since everyone in the end retreats back to their own individual perceptions usually anyway, and even if converted in some thought or other, is STILL just changing their cerebral and/or physical position on the same landscape of human existence that is sending aftershocks beneath our perceptually firm stands. You likely need a woman with ENERGY to go the places you seem to want to take me here. I AM NOT HER! Years ago, maybe, but not now. Speaking from a LONG lifetime of interacting with a GREAT MANY men on MANY levels of relationship, my experiential viewpoint is that men typically DO drain a woman of any and all energy she does expend in HER effort to RELATE to him, as she makes the (usually greater) effort to GO these places, and usually the man then very unsentimentally dumps her, as well, once he has drained all of her (life) energy. She can no longer recharge his waning battery (nor at THAT point, even barely HER OWN, for her very survival in the aftermath) so he moves on to find another 'fix' to entertain and energize him, always telling the next women in line it was ALL her and NOT him, as well, until finding another one still having the newness and naivity (however temporary) it takes to have patience with him or even the willingness to service his needs (to whatever degree HER OWN NEEDS are simultaneously NOT being met at all by HIM, as that realization dawns). I found out that I am NOT the Energizer 'Bunny'! I have too much going on now to have the time or WANT to use that much energy on this stuff. I have POURED ALL MY ENERGY into Messaging a couple of men, in the past here, that seemed then to be much more 'promising' mates for me (answering your earlier query regarding my using this site and what I get or expect from it--- I am patient; don't even EVER N-E-E-D a man, which is to my ADVANTAGE here; and 'the jury is still out' obviously on whether the effort I DO expend on this site will serve up any MET EXPECTATIONS for me along the way). One of those men even was COMPLETELY COMPATIBLE WITH ME IN EVERY WAY 'ON PAPER' and we BOTH said so here! (But, then, after EXTENSIVE Messaging and calling, he wouldn't drive 3 hours then to MEET me, in order to THEN determine the TRUE chemistry thing between us that can only be known in person, in order to KNOW if we could indeed move forward and not continue to spin our wheels, at that point, potentially wasting ALOT of invested time and effort with one another here, if it was MISSING ultimately, which would be a true WASTE of precious resources like TIME. I cannot get all that time BACK to use for truly productive things, and I am a focused goal-based person. Time is a PRECIOUS commodity; we get ONE life (unless you also want to debate THAT, but I won't do that, either). I will invest myself as much and as long as I SEE that it is following along a path I am seeking for myself and am HAPPY and COMFORTABLE with, but NOT once I realize that it is a COMPROMISE in a category that I am NOT required to compromise on, such as this (chit chatting). I can choose to BE in a relationship, or NOT be. Once IN one, compromise is essential, but I am not IN one here. I am signing off now and will go take a MULTIVITAMIN. Usually when men choose to respond to my 'exiting' here, as I am under NO OBLIGATIONTO CONTINUE if I am not ENJOYING it or where it is HEADING, I do not even read it, as I have ALREADY CHOSEN TO EXIT. FYI. Best to you and your situation."

Sethcarter, the Writer herein counts his Blessings in honoring this Lady's desires as stated above. :-)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I find myself contemplating my own naval today. And since it still needs to get smaller, I have much to contemplate,<Big Smile> in any regards, I will not complain about men, women, or about this site. That does not leave a lot to talk about, but I will try. <Big Smile>

In case you might not be unaware, an Internet Troll is a Person [or the admirer of such a Person] who likes to upset someone else on the Internet, seeking to cause a confrontation with the victim causing upset;  Since I hate to use the term victim, I should go with a synonym such as, the clown, dupe, easy make, easy mark, fatality, fool, gambit, gopher, gudgeon, or gull. Several of these Trolls are on this Web site, and post to the Journal.

So, as to the Questions:

1. Can an Internet Troll ever be a nice person?

A: Yes. While I would not at first be inclined to think that anyone so of such a LOW character to enjoy either tormenting, or the torment, of others, as a Christian, I do not believe that anyone is beyond change and redemption, even the really nasty and crazy ones.

2. Can a Water Fast every three days be an effective weight loss tool?

A. Yes, in most cases. If you only eat enough to maintain your present your present weight or slightly below that on the other 2 days, then the answer is yes. Go to this site to determine what it takes to maintain your present weight. 

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/calorie-calculator/NU00598

Then eat that amount for 2 days, then on the third day consuming nothing but a lot of water. Divide the number of calories it takes to maintain your weight by 3500, and you will see how much weight you lose in the 3 day period. If your daily weight maintenance is 2500, then you will lose .7125 pounds in that 3 days, or nearly 1 ½ pounds a week. You might consider reducing your calorie consumption on one of the ‘eating’ days by a thousand or so on ONLY one of the two ‘eating’ days in the 3 day period [at least for a couple of months], to bring your weight loss to almost 2 pounds in that scenario every 3 days. A continuous daily starvation diet causes our body to reduce its metabolic rate, so it is important to ‘trick’ it by not always eating a daily starvation diet.

But if you can’t not eat, or you fear not eating, see:

http://caloriecount.about.com/cc/calories-goal.php

3. Do your nose and ears continue to grow as you get older?

A. Maybe? This is something that I have puzzled about when I look at the old ‘snozz’ that is seemingly getting both red enough and big enough to either lead the pack if I were a reindeer, or to warn people a minute before I actually come into a room. But the actual answer is uncertain. They are both made of cartledge, which normally neither grows nor shrinks  in humans as we age [as apposed to sharks. Maybe I am a shark???] But as you age you do undergo changes in your skin and even your bones that can have an affect on perceptions of growth. See:

http://www.madsci.org/posts/archives/Mar2003/1048719208.Dv.r.html

4. Is Cannabis [Hemp], a/k/a Marijuana, a dangerous and harmful drug?

A. No. Not only No, but HELL NO!  When this herb, of which medicinal, uses date back to 1500 years before the birth of Christ; first became criminalized in this country in the 1920’s and 1930’s, mostly as a result of prejudice against the Mexican farm workers whose recreational use caused the ‘urban’ rumors of causing the Mexicans to go crazy and criminal. There is antidotal evidence to indicate a ‘conspiracy’ given the Federal anti-cannabis legislation used the colloquial term of Marijuana, instead its actual name of Hemp, which had been grown in the US since the beginning of our colonial days. Had it been proposed to criminalize it using its real name would have caused the Hemp growers to come and protest. So they ‘disguised’ the legislation, kind of like the ‘earmarks’ put into spending bills as pet projects for Congresspersons to benefit their districts’/states, or friends. In fact it was once illegal, NOT to grow hemp in Virginia. Studies have shown the ‘Gateway Theory’ to harder drugs is false. To place Cannabis/Marijuana as a Schedule I class substance (along with heroin), and to keep it so despite its proven harmless recreational and positive medicinal functions; shows a stupidity or ignorance that is as monumental in the Name of Mankind. PS: If you put 300 cannabis smokers together, you will end up with a Philosophical Discussion, but only 50 alcoholic drinkers together, will usually end up in a fight. So Ends the Lession. :-) Any Questions?

LOVE-MAKING TIPS FOR SENIORS

1. Wear your glasses . . .. .to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, In case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 000 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Use extra Polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Panadol ready in case you actually complete the act..

8. Make all the noise you want.... the neighbours are deaf too..

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice. .. . . . .. . . . . . .

'OLD' IS WHEN...  Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs And make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...  Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes . . . and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN....  You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along too.

'OLD' IS WHEN.... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .
 
'OLD' IS WHEN.. .  'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fibre today.

'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot

'OLD' IS WHEN...  Pulling an 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

AND

'OLD' IS WHEN... You are not sure if these are facts or jokes!
 
(P.S. I sent this in large type so you can read it!)

Our Media does not, I repeat, DOES NOT, tell us the entire story about the Middle East. I am no defender of terrorism, not now, nor would I have been from 1945 to 1947, when Jewish terrorists under the Hagganah, Irgun, or Lehi (also known as the Stern Gang) Organizations, [organizationshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haganah] either committed or approved, at times, of acts of terrorism against the British in the Palestine Mandate, [most notably the bombing of the British HQ at the wing it occupied in the King David Hotel at Jerusalem in 1946. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_David_Hotel_bombing ] Most of the Palestine Mandate, of which land is now either Israel, or under Israeli control. At the end is an article from a media sourse not controlled by the pro-Israeli cabal; in regards to the continued inhumane blockade by and on behest of Israel. We need to get the word out. In my opinion another source of alternative information is al Jazeera English [http://english.aljazeera.net/] . The most unbiased news sourse you will find it is on the www. Here is the article about the blockade of both food and news, quoting well known Jewish author, lecturer and MIT Professor, Noam Chomsky. http://www.salem-news.com/articles/january042010/gaza_update.php

Suicide bomber attacks CIA base in Afghanistan killing at least 8 Americans

The other night a Talking Head went thru a list of the killing of Coalition troops [mostly American, British and Canadian, of course] by Afgan National Army or Police. Dozens dead were listed, with no claim that those were all of the cases. These Afgans are supposedly the very same people we are supposed to be training so that they can defend, what? Their own corrupt Democracy? Today a demonstration occurred in southern Afghanistan against us. It appears that the only people that want us there are the corrupt bastards like President Karzi, his brother and their ilk

In south Afghanistan, a crowd chanted anti-American slogans and burned an effigy of President Obama during a protest of against the recent death of 10 civilians, eight of whom were boys of between 12 & 14. A NATO Spokesman stated that the deceased were insurgents. Which was it? That really does not matter, does it? They believe it in Afghanistan, where they are justifiably suspicious of westerners.

Also on Wednesday, a suicide bomber infiltrated a CIA base in eastern Afghanistanon killing at least eight Americans in what is believed to be the deadliest single attack on U.S. intelligence personnel in the eight-year-long war and one of the deadliest in the agency's history, U.S. officials have reported. Five Canadian soldiers were also killed by a roadside bomb on Wednesday.

The attempted bomber of the flight to Detroit a few days came from a privileged Nigerian family whose OWN FATHER WARNED us about his son about a month ago. The young man was trained in Yemen by an offshoot of al Qaeda called al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula. The leaders of that group are Saudis released from Gitmo by the Bush Administration to Saudi Arabia, where they were supposedly rehabilitated with Art Therapy. The recent attempt came close to killing about 300 people. The same Yemeni group has been reported as being active in our supposed ‘ally’ of           Saudi Arabia and elsewhere. Of course let us not forget about Somalia, another failed Muslim state, a short sea journey from Yemen, which itself is in the middle of a civil war, and whose government is friendly to us.

And remember that the crazy guy running Libya could always reverse his ‘no attack America’ stance, and allow the terrorists to base there? And do you think that he really likes us [remember we tried to kill him unsuccessfully, but did succeed in killing his young daughter] enough not to do so if we become so incredibly STUPID to fight wars in 10 or more other countries, besides Iraq, Pakistan, and Afghanistan, ‘to fight them there so we do not have to fight them here?’

I have been saying for a long time that we should pull out, closing our military bases overseas and quit meddling in the affairs of foreign countries. But wouldn’t al Qaeda keep attacking us anyway, you say? Well, I am not sure, but I can tell you that al Qaeda has said our actions caused them to attack us, the CIA has also reported, along with the 9/11 Commission Report that al Qaeda attacked us because we are there; and that Gitmo, Abu Grab, and our other actions [over there], are al Qaeda’s greatest recruitment tools. 

And how are we going to pay for all these new wars, much less the present ones? Well my nit witted neo-con and other friends, I will float a proposal that makes about as much sense as us keep fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. Let’s gather up all of the illegal aliens in the US, and force the fairly fit ones of military age, which is apparently now 18-44, by threatening them with imprisoning their loved ones. But instead of keeping those loved ones safe, let’s sell them into slavery. Which still does exist by the way; including in the US; where women are often trafficked as Sex slaves. That way we MIGHT have enough troops and money to keep fighting.

Crazy you say? Not any crazier than what we are doing now.

 

 

 

My mother should probably go down in the Pantheon of Great Mothers, but she did one nice thing that has helped cause me a negative reaction towards the Holiday of Christmas, or should I say the Shopaday of December. She so overdid the giving of gifts (although I have to admit that I liked it as a child), that combined with decades of advertising prior to Thanksgiving, I absolutely dread this time of year! And I am a Christian. I have often wondered why Mom was this way. I guess that it might be a combination of excessive generosity and/or reaction to having been raised herself by an overly pecuniary conscious mother (which is a fancy pantsy and smancy way of saying CHEAP!).

Or it might be the smaltzy way the advertisers ply us with messages of how family and friends who could just absolutely have their/your lives improved if you would just buy them gifts (or yourselves, with the more expensive gizmos and gadgets). And I feel this way despite (or perhaps maybe why?) being an actual honest to God, Bible reading and believing, Church attending Christian. Just what happened to Christ during Christmas? Or should I say The Holidays. Given the fact that the Jews, and the Afrocentric crowd have jumped on board the Titanic as the good ship Lollipop [USA] sinks ever deeper into the morass of an unpayable national debt?

The Jews of North America have made Hanukkah, which is an exceedingly minor holiday elsewhere in the world, one of their most important celebrations, probably only exceeded by Passover and Yom Kippur. And the Afrocentric group has Kwanzaa, a time of celebration going back into the long ago antiquities of 1966, when it was made up by Maulana Karenga.

Hey there now, don't get mad at me, get mad at Wikipedia:

Kwanzaa consists of seven days of celebration, featuring activities such as candle-lighting and pouring of libations, and culminating in a feast and gift giving. It was created by Maulana Karenga and was first celebrated from December 26, 1966, to January 1, 1967.

And would somebody be good enough to tell me what a libation is? <Big Smile>

Now why have I written this? Is it that I am trying to poke a little good-natured fun at people and the time of year? Or that I am tired of what I have to put up with starting approximately November 15 each year? Or perhaps, it is an effort (hopefully not futile!) to work on my inadequate writing skills. Or perhaps it is as an introduction to an article by Fred Reed, a writer who is at least 10 times more talented than I. And then again it might be for all four reasons! Enjoy your Christmas, oops, Happy Holiday Celebrations! (With or without libations?) I will leave it to you to look up what Mithra is. I consider myself fairly knowledgeable, and I sure as heck needed to look it up! And now the Supremely Talented and Incomparable Fred Reed:

 Worse Than War Criminals

by Fred Reed
by Fred Reed
I’m going to kill Santa Claus– cart him to the guillotine in a tumbrel, and then carry his head through town on a pike. I mean it. That damned red-nosed reindeer will be sausage. Why is his nose red? Because he’s a drunk. His real name is O’Toole. He emigrated to the North Pole under a forged visa.

I can’t stand it. The entire United States has become on vast elevator, with lame carols raining down like a musical sewage-outflow. Barely musical. There’s no escape. Ringdingchingading, Dingdingchingaring, Santa Claus is coming to…a bad end, if I catch the rascal. I’ll hang him on fish hooks.

Why do we put up with this saccharine compulsory gaiety? I’m dreeeem-ing of a …aaagh! It would drive shellfish to wear ear plugs. But we don’t just tolerate commercial leminghood. We congratulate ourselves on it. News reports tell us excitedly how sales compare with last year’s. Television clips show people pawing at bins in low-end slop chutes, dropping half on the floor.

I want to strangle something. Bring me a duck.

All that tiresome yodeling about things that most people wouldn’t recognize if they tripped over one. Half the public couldn’t tell a reindeer from a hat rack. A one-horse open sleigh? Probably nobody alive has ever seen a sleigh, or, many of them, a horse. It’s ersatz nostalgia for a world we never knew. Buy something.

 

Actually there may be hope. Christmas (as it was once called) is the suicide season, when people get depressed and off themselves right and left. You could probably make money with a cyanide concession: Here’s your pill, now go into the alley, would you? Suicide suggests taste. It is a reasonable response to jollity contrived at corporate.

Of course people kill themselves. They’re lonely folk trying to engage in obligatory cheer that doesn’t work, while imagining that everyone else is simmering in the warmth and love that they see in the commercials. In truth people seldom like each other that much, which shows good judgement.

What you actually have is, on Christmas morning, bored and spoiled children opening package after package without interest. Oh yeah, a CD of Klok Mortuary and the Gadarene Swine, already got it from Limewire. A fluorescent iPod cover that changes colors when you turn it, whoopee-do. The whole thing is a fraud, a sad swindle, an ordeal.

It is, however, a splendid example of Pavlovian conditioning. Pavlov is usually revered for torturing dogs, but he should be placed in a larger framework, as an early marketer. Americans hear ringdingchingading and their eyes glaze over. Yes, they think…yes, must buy…something. Urg. It doesn’t matter what they buy: A ghastly sweater for Aunt Sally, reduced because it would embarrass an aboriginal in the Amazon rain forest; an espresso-maker for Cousin Richard, because…well, because it’s fifty-percent off, and, who knows, Richard might like espresso.

You see these automatons issuing from department stores groaning under things they didn’t want to buy, for people they usually don’t like, who don’t want whatever was bought for them. “What can we buy for Uncle Fritter, who we’d rather never hear from again but he just won’t die? Oh, look. Soap in the shape of a cute little burro. Just the thing.”

 

 

 

 

What used to be Christmas, and was a joyous celebration of Mithra’s birthday, or the solstice, or something else reasonable, has become the Winter Holidays or, more candidly, the Winter Shopping Season. It no longer has anything to do with Christianity, which has gone flaccid in the suburbs and in the heartland consists of lunatics waiting to be Raptured up to heaven as by a giant godly Hovermatic. You can’t call it Christmas. We must observe the constitutional separation of church and retail.

This fool business has apparently become the foundation of the American economy. I have read that without Holiday sales, retailers of things nobody in his right mind ought to want would go out of business. That’s a lot of retailers. I’m for it. I mean, how many ugly ties can the Republic stand?

We’re in trouble, I tell you. You think it’s the sub-prime crisis? Nah. The holiday shopping season is going to do us in. We might stop doing it. The country is as force-fed as a pâté goose with Holiday bottles of shaving lotion and remaindered blouses, and if people stop gobbling, it’s all over. Ask yourself: Without the Shopping Season and high-pressure advertising, who would buy much of anything? Suppose that Apple Computer couldn’t advertise, but just put its new hiss-crackles on its web site? Why isn’t this reasonable? If you felt a compulsion to own an iPod with thirty-seven buttons and a sonar-depth-finder, you could. But you’d have to want the thing enough to look for it. Ha. The economy would croak louder than an opera bullfrog. Wouldn’t need a fat lady.

 

Actually I knew the world was coming to an end when I read a Holiday copy of Sky Mall, that catalog they put in the seat pockets of airliners. In these magazines they don’t sell watches. No. Watches are low-demographic, for people with protruding orbital ridges. In Sky Mall, the things are Time Pieces, a phrase redolent of toney elegance and upscale antiquity. This is so that an executive – actually a bulk-lot salesman of cheap suits, desperate to conceal lower-middle-class origins but not sure how – will buy a three-dollar Hong Kong watch for three hundred green ones, so as to distinguish himself from lower forms of life. If there are any. Trilobites maybe, or tubeworms.

“Time Pieces” was bad enough. But there was worse: a wooden box, with four holes in it. In it you put your collection of Time Pieces, which, being the superior sort of being that you are, you would have. (Was that a sentence?) There was a little motor under the box to rock the Timepieces back and forth. Remember self-winding watches? This thing would keep four of them wound. You know, your collection of antique gold Rolexes. You could put one on each wrist and ankle, I suppose.

That’s Christmas. A great mistake. I think the Romans had it right. Worship Magna Mater, drink yourself silly, and hold a tauroboleum. There’s certainly enough bull around.

Tell you what, people. I’m the crack of economic doom. I’m not going to buy anything. I’m going to spend Christmas – I still call it that, no offense to Mithra – at home, with Vi and Natalia, three useless dogs and four cats, a good blaze in the fireplace, and not one lone forlorn iPod. Maybe we’ll invite Tom the Robot and, well, other curious folk. Natalia makes a wicked margarita like she invented the idea. We’ll listen to Scheherazade and Loretta Lynn (well, Scheherazade doesn’t actually sing) and tell lies and if anyone comes near with a cute burro made of soap, just the thing for Uncle Fritter, we’ll feed the sumbitch to the dogs.

December 22, 2009

Fred Reed is author of Nekkid in Austin: Drop Your Inner Child Down a Well and A Brass Pole in Bangkok: A Thing I Aspire to Be. His latest book is Curmudgeing Through Paradise: Reports from a Fractal Dung Beetle. Visit his blog.

 

This is the piece I wrote about my child custody court battle in Minnesota in the early 90's. My 15 SECONDS of fame. Otherwise I have just been a county lawyer.

Dads should not be discriminated against!

Newsweek, July 94, by Dorsett Bennett

Divorce is a fact of modern life. A great number of people simply decide that they do not wish to stay married to their spouse.A divorce is not a tremendously difficult situation unless there are minor children born to the couple. If there are no minor children you simply divide the assets and debts. But you cannot divide a child. The child needs to be placed with the appropriate parent.

In my own case, my former wife choose not to remain married to me. That is her right and I do not fault her decision. My problem is that I do not believe it is her right to deny me the privilege of raising our children. Some fathers want to go to the parent/teacher conferences, school plays, carnivals, and to help their kids with homework. I have always looked forward to participating on a daily basis in my children's lives. I can no longer enjoy that privilege. The children live with their mother, who has moved to a northern Midwest state.

I tried so hard to gain custody of my children. I believe the evidence is uncontradicted as to what an excellent father (and more important, parent) I am. My ex-wife is a fairly good mother, but unbiased opinions unanimously agreed I was the better parent.Testimonials were videotaped from witnesses who could not attend the out-of-state custody hearing. I choose to be a father. When I was 3 years old, my own father left my family. While I've loved my father for many years, I did and still do reject his parental pattern.

A couple of centuries ago, a father and mother might have shared equally in the care and raising of children above the age of infancy. But with the coming of the Industrial Revolution the father went to work during the day, leaving the full-time care of the young to the mother, who stayed at home. It was easier to decide who should get child custody under those circumstances. That would be true today even if the mother were put into the position of working outside the home after the divorce.

Now, a majority of married mothers are in the workplace, often because the family needs the second income to survive. With the advent of the working mother, we have also seen a change in child care. Not only have we seen an increase in third-party caregivers; there is a decided difference in how fathers interact with their children. Fathers are even starting to help raise their children. I admit that in a great many families there is an uneven distribution of child-care responsibilities. But there are fathers who do as much to raise the children as the mother, and there are many examples where men are the full-time parents.

But, because we have this past history of the mother being the principal child caregiver, the mother has almost always been favored in any contested child-custody case. The law of every state is replete with decisions showing that the mother is the favored custodial parent. The changes in our lifestyle are now being reflected in our laws. In most, if not all, states, the legislature has recognized the change in child-care responsibilities and enacted legislation that is gender blind. The statutes that deal with child custody now say that the children should be placed with the parent whose care and control of the child will be in the childs best interest.

This legislation is enlightened and correct. Society has changed. We no longer bring up our children as we did years ago. But it is still necessary to have someone make the choice in the child's best interest if the parents are divorcing and cannot agree on who takes care of the kids. So we have judges to make that enormous decision.

The state legislature can pass laws that say neither parent is favored because of their gender. But it is judges who make the ultimate choice. And those judges are usually older males who practiced law during the time when mothers were the favored guardians under the law. These same judges mostly come from a background where mothers stayed home and were the primary caregivers. By training and by personal experience they have a strong natural bias in favor of the mother in a child-custody case. That belief is regressive and fails to acknowledge the changed realities of our present way of life. Someone must be appointed to render a decision when parents cannot agree. I would ask that those judges who make these critical decisions re-examine their attitudes and prejudices against placing children with fathers.

After the videotaped testimony was completed, one of my lawyers said he had never seen a father put together a better custody case. "But," he asked me, "can you prove she is unfit?" A father should not have to prove the mother us unfit in order to gain custody. He should not have to prove that she has two heads, participates in child sacrifice or eats live snakes. The father should only have to prove that he is the more suitable parent.

Fathers should not be discriminated against as I was. It took me three years to get a trial on the merits in the Minnesota court. And Minnesota has a law directing its courts to give a high priority to child-custody cases. What was even worse was that the judge seemed to ignore the overwhelming weight of the evidence and granted custody to my ex-wife. At the trial, her argument was, "I am their mother". Other than that statement she hardly put on a case. Being the mother of the children was apparently deemed enough to outweigh evidence that all the witnesses who knew us both felt I was the better parent; that those witnesses who knew only me said what an excellent parent I was; that our childrens behavior always improved dramatically after spending time with me; that my daughter wished to live with me, and that I had a better child-custody evaluation than my wife.

So I say to the trial judges who decide these cases: Become part of the solution to this dilemma of child custody. Don't remain part of the problem. It is too late for me. If this backward way of thinking is changed, then perhaps it won't be too late for other fathers who should have custody of their children.

Bennett is an attorney in Roswell, N.M.

I had a discussion with a friend, and decided to post it. His questions are numbered and what I wrote is in [brackets.]

[Hello Gary—

I love your title, Simple Questions; that are really not so simple. But I will take a whack at it.]

Simple questions:

1. Do you feel Iran is pursuing nuclear technology for purely peaceful reasons?   http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/01/world/middleeast/01iran.html

[No, I was not born yesterday. I have absolutely no doubt that there is a dual reason why they want the technology.]

1. Do you feel concerns over the possession of WMD is strictly a right wing extremist demagogy?http://www.demconvention.com/assets/downloads/2008-Democratic-Platform-by-Cmte-08-13-08.pdf  page 34

[I do not remember saying it was a right wing extremist demagogy. What I was saying is that our media paints Iran like Bush wanted it to: Part of the Evil Empire; Iraq, Iran, and North Korea. What did we do to the part of the Evil Empire that did not have nuclear weapons? What have we not done to another part of the Evil Empire that does in fact have nuclear weapons? The commentator Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes said that if he was Iran, he would want nuclear weapons also, because the only people we treat with any respect are those with nuclear weapons.]

1. Do you feel the Middle East will move closer to resolution of the conflict with Israel should Iran be a nuclear player in the area?

[With the best equipped army that American money can buy, and with 200+ nuclear bombs [in violation of the nuclear test ban treaty, that everyone knows about, wink, wink, wink!], Israel's continued existence is not at issue. I remember a Jewish commentator once asking the question why was the United States so deeply invested in a small Theocracy in the Middle East? And of course the answer is very simple, the Jewish voting block, which tends to be Liberal, and the Evangelical Christian block, which tends to be Conservative.]

1. Given the rhetoric from the Iranian President about Israel's destruction, do you feel Israel has the same confidence in the restraint and good will of the Iranian Supreme Religious Leader as you do?

[The Iranian president does not have the power to order a strike against Israel. I have absolutely no confidence in the goodwill of the Iranian Supreme Religious Leader. But he did not get to the position that he is without being smart, ambitious, and politically savvy. He is in power and can benefit his family and friends much easier than our politicians can. Look at Rep. John Murtha, Democrat of Pennsylvania, or Democratic Sen. Robert Byrd of West Virginia, to see how they enrich family and friends. The SRL of Iran is not going to want to give up his power. Would you if you are he? I do have confidence in him showing restraint in any attack against Israel. While you are out there working and being the wonderful husband and father that you are, I am sitting in front of my computer [much of that on news and commentary], watching too much TV [much watching the news channels], and otherwise reading. I pick up information about the dirty dealings of how the regime in power financially and politically rewards its friends, and punishes those who are opposed to it.

Another thing we are dealing with is mistranslation. The first time that the Iranian president allegedly made the threat of war against Israel, he was actually saying that Israel did not have the Right to Exist legally. It is standard political theater in the Middle East that the Western world did not have a right to dump their ‘Jewish problem’ into Palestine. They feel, rightfully or wrongfully, that they did not seek to exterminate the Jews, like several European countries did [Germany, Romania, Hungary, Bulgaria, etc.]. After everybody got all hyped up about it, he has continued to do it to successfully get a rise out of us.]

[The Iranian people are very smart, Iran has not invaded another country for about 300 years (compared to what, 30 or 40 times by the United States?), and the Iranian people dismiss all of this stuff going on as political theater, which they should. Because that is what it is!]

1. Given that Israel is not as cavalier and dismissive of perceived threats to their survival as we are (right or wrong is irrelevant) and has paid attention to the rhetoric coming from the Iranian regime; do you feel they will allow the Iran to procure nuclear weapons without a preemptive strike?

[They would be stupid to make a preemptive strike because it would be unsuccessful. The Iranian facilities are embedded in a mountain. I think if we did get out of it, it might cause Israel to grow up and quit being the bully in the Middle East. With us behind them they think they can do any damn thing they want. And have! Including repeated war crimes committed in Gaza.]

1. If the US were to totally withdraw from the Middle East and shift it's support to neutral or pro Islam, will that make Israel more or less paranoid?

[I certainly do not suggest that the United States become pro Islam. I do think that we should be neutral, and if we are going to stick our nose in other countries business, we should be like the Swiss or the Swedes in encouraging peace. Israel needs to grow up and quit a bully in the Middle East, versus us being the big bully in the entire world.

Let me tell you one interesting little side note about World War II. In what was Yugoslavia, the Germans were able to successfully recruit a militia of Croatians to assist them. The principal opposition of the Germans in Yugoslavia came from the Serbs. The deaths of approximately 350,000 Serbs were attributable to the Croatians. At the end of World War II the victorious Serbs [a close ally of Russia] massacred 100,000 Croatia militiamen that had surrendered. There are about 4.8 million people in present-day Croatia and less than 7.5 million people in Serbia. Let us look at a relative comparison between these countries and the United States. In 1940 the Census of the United States indicated about 160 million people. I think the 2010 census will show about 325 million. While I am sure that neither Croatia and Serbia are suffering the massive immigration situation that we have, I am sure that their population has increased at least somewhat since 1940. Think about the comparison, everyone in both of those countries had relatives and friends amongst the 450,000 dead as a result of the other groups actions. 4.8+7.5 equals 12.3 million people at today's population, versus 450,000 murdered. Of course the two groups had bad blood before and after. Including two brief border wars since the breakup of Yugoslavia.]

         1. What would be the influence of the US over Israeli restraint should we abandon the area and cut off support?

[I don't think that we have had a whole lot of influence on Israel to show any restraint at this point. In point of fact I think our support has given them cover [connection to us] to continue to act in outrageous ways. What gives us the right to interfere with everybody else that we want to interfere with? I have mentioned before that there was a civil war fought in one of the former Soviet Socialist Republics. I'm not going to bother to look the name up, but about 25,000 people were killed. This was going on during the last Infatada between the Palestinians and the Israelis. During that conflict about 1000 to 1500 people were killed, and reports of it were on the news every single day for weeks! But that was more important & interesting than those people killing themselves in Central Asia.]

1. Given that the Supreme Religious Leader of Iran is a devout pacifist that abhors war of any kind; will there be any pressure for him to retaliate against an Israeli strike if he has the means?

[If you are concerned that Iran will launch a nuclear attack against Israel as a result of a stupid preemptive strike by Israel against Iran's nuclear facilities; but I doubt it because they would know what happened to them should they make any such suicidal gesture. I suspect that Iran would ramp up attacks against Israel by one of their surrogates; Hamas for example. They would not launch any nuclear attack because they know what happened back. Once you have power you want to keep power. That is why the present SRL would not launch any nuclear attack.]

1. What kind of response can we expect from the SRL of Iran if he were NOT a pacifist?

[The present SRL is a politician first, and is not going to do something that will cause him to lose that power, such as a nuclear attack against Israel. He backed the stolen election because the current President is his protege, and did not like the relative 'reformist' positions of the other two.]

1. Given that Islamic attitudes towards human life and martyrdom are not the same as western attitudes, does that increase or decrease the level of restraint by the Iranian SRL?

[I think their attitudes towards maintaining power and enriching themselves and their friends overrides any lack of respect for human life individually.]

1. Given the historical instability of the Iranian regime, do you trust the fail safe systems that would be put into place if Iran had nuclear capability?

[If you are concerned about instability, you should be looking at Pakistan, rather than Iran. We reinstalled a dictatorship over a democratically elected government of the Iranian people in 1953. The 1979 revolution swept that dictator away. They have had numerous Presidents since 1979, but only two SRL's. So Iran has been relatively stable prior to this stolen election. The government of Iran is the closest thing to a democracy after Israel in the Middle East. The present president was the defeated in that election, and the present SLR allowed the present president and his supporters to steal the election. Uhmm? I wonder if that has ever happened in the United States?]

1. Do you feel that the US and other Western powers will escape unscathed or with minimal effect is there is a nuclear exchange in the Middle East?

[Obviously not. Can you think of anything that the US and other Western powers have done up to this point to prevent a nuclear exchange in the Middle East? Do you really think our being there now, expending the lives of our military, along with borrowing hundreds of billions of dollars to pay for those wars?]

1. This is a question that bears repeating........what are the potential ecological, social, financial and medical consequences of an exchange in the Middle East and will the US be minimally affected or will their be a major impact to our way of life?

[The US will be affected by any war, just as any country depending upon the oil from the Middle East will be affected. Tactical warfare will interfere with the delivery of oil and nuclear warfare will pollute our atmosphere.]

I invited you to abandon for a moment questions on whether this is a right wing conspiracy; or who put us in this mess; or who is to blame for the terrible foreign policy; or whether Iran is a nation of terrorist or Greenpeace advocates: or who is right; who is wrong; whether or not Israel should exist as a nation or be dismantled.

[Israel is not going to cease to exist. Just as the Palestinian people are not going to cease to exist either. They need to learn to live with each other. That is a joint proposition and involves Israel stopping their anti-humanitarian blockade of Gaza. The rocket attacks on southern Israel from Gaza are largely attributable to the Israeli blockade.]

Blame is irrelevant right now.  Who is just and who is unjust?? That is the domain of future historians (assuming there are any).  I invite you to consider the current political realities of the area and likely scenarios independently from how they got there.

Right or wrong, I invite you to consider what Israel is likely to do if they feel threatened by a nuclear Iran and what are the likely responses of the region to Israel's actions?  How far will it escalate?  Are you CERTAIN China or Russia will not get involved?  Do you really believe there is no rational cause for concern?

[Do you seriously think that we are going to be able to stop Iran from developing a nuclear weapon, should they desire to do so? Have we been able to stop North Korea? Did we stop Russia or China? Have we not gone to a no one wins nuclear war with those people? The Russians used to march unarmed troops through German minefields to clear those fields, so their armed soldiers [they did not have enough guns] could go through to kill the Germans. Do you think that shows a respect for life? The Chinese killed what, 10-20 million or so and their Cultural Revolution? There is plenty of reason to be concerned, but our continued interference is not going to help anything. What good have we done up to this point? What are our children, our grandchildren or great-grandchildren going to go through to paint all this debt, to fight all these wars?

One of the supposedly guiding principles of the medical profession is as follows, "First, do no harm! We helped to force the creation of an entire nation on a rightfully indignant Arab people. The Russians forcefully shifted the Germans of East Prussia and the eastern part of Germany in general. They moved the Poles from eastern Poland westward and stole part of that country. Why couldn't we have created the state of Israel out of what is presently Germany? Was it not Germany that initiated the attempted extinction of the Jews? We overthrew the Iranian regime in 1953 because they had nationalized the British oil interests. I think those Iranian oil interests are now owned by Iran. Should we invade Iran so that we can seize their oil? Should India or Bangladesh invade the United States to seize our farmland, so they can grow food? Should China and North Korea invades South Korea because they do not have adequate automobile manufacturing capabilities, and would love to own the South Korean Hyundai, Kia, and Daewoo auto manufacturing companies? Where does it stop? Does might make right?]

[Interesting?]

 

gs

 

Roswell Redux

A novel by

Dorsett Bennett

 

…. our wants are few and it easily supplied.  The river, the wood and plain yield all that we require, and we will not go as slaves; nor will we send our children to your schools, where they only learned to become like yourselves. Cadetee, Mescalero Apache Chief

Chapter I

 

The pearl white Infinity convertible moved swiftly over the two-lane New Mexico blacktop. The driver, attorney John Michobey, was traveling south on US 285 towards Roswell, New Mexico. The city had become internationally famous because of an alien spacecraft crash that allegedly occurred in 1947. A local military installation, the Rowell Army Air Field issued a press release describing the crash. The local papers headline for July 8, 1947 read, RAAF Captures Flying Saucer On Ranch in Roswell Region. The next day the base information office had issued a retraction, stating it was not a spacecraft, but it had only been a weather balloon. The controversy of that situation has never ended. A UFO museum celebrating the crash was one half blocks away from his office.  Michobey thought the whole situation was a bunch of hysterical crap, but like looked upon it indulgently because it was good for the tourist trade.

 

It was approaching twilight and the distant landscape look alternately painted brown, blue, grey and pink. Michobey was crossing the land the Spanish once called the Apacheria. It was a mostly barren collection of sandy plains and craggy mountains, stretching from Texas at the east, west to Arizona, then north from Colorado and south to Mexico. Michobey was one half Apache and loved the country side he was crossing. He was driving 75 to 80 mph in the standard 65 mile per hour zone. Michobey lit another cigarette.  It was the second to last one of a pack he had opened when he left Albuquerque, about 175 miles behind him.  He was going home from a domestic relations seminar from which he had learned very little.  It was not the fault of the presenters of the seminar.  Michobey was still preoccupied with his recent divorce and the loss of his children.  He had spent most of the seminar thinking about that and continued to do so as his drove home.  Michobey and his wife Angela divorced the prior year after the death from leukemia of their eleven year old daughter Cassandra. Cassandra had been his favorite out of the three children born to the marriage, After her death, Michobey and Angela withdrew into their respective sorrows, losing the ability to comfort each other. They also lost the ability to communicate that had been so wonderful in the first years of their marriage. Michobey recognized that it was more his fault then his wife's.  But it was too late to do anything about it now.  Angela filed for divorce and moved back to Madison, Wisconsin, to her parent’s home, taking their sons David and Michael with her. Michobey believed her move was made with the hope that her parents and siblings would be able to fill the hole in her life that Michobey had failed so miserably to do. He prayed that time would heal the wounds that they both felt. 

 

He was about 15 miles north of Roswell when he remembered the interview he was scheduled to do the next day. The interview was of a female client in a guardianship/competency petition case filed by her younger brother. Michobey had been appointed the woman’s Guardian Ad Litem. This legal representation was necessary to protect the alleged incompetent’s best interests. Michobey’s new client, Roberta Gaines, was in her 80’s, and lived with her brother and his wife in a fashionable neighborhood in northwest Roswell near the hospital.  Michobey had agreed to do the work as a favor to a lawyer friend representing the brother in the case.

 

As Michobey approached the Trans-Western plant about 5 miles north of the city limits, he lit another cigarette and slowed his car to 65 to avoid getting a ticket.  This was because getting another ticket could cost him his license. Soon Price’s Truck Stop appeared on the right hand side of the highway.  It was a busy independent operation just outside of town offering full services for both the big 18-wheelers, and people on vacation.  There were also ladies who provided a more personal service to some of the drivers.  Were they to find out about it, that bit of information might cause a shock to some church ladies in town, 

 

Instead of going home, Michobey decided to go downtown to his office. He wanted to see what had occurred during his absence the last two days.  Besides, there didn't seem to be much point in going to that empty house. Shortly later he was driving by the UFO place on Main Street which was located in a former movie theater. The theatre’s marquee was garishly painted UFO Museum. He smiled at the thought of how some of the UFO tourists would stand around downtown looking in amazement as if they were in a sacred place. After exiting the buildings elevator and seeing his law firm’s sign on the glass door, a grin passed over his face. Michobey was one of two partners in a three lawyer firm. His partner’s last name was Meyer. The firm’s name, Michobey and Meyer, Attorneys at Law, reminded him of the nationally advertised law firm, Jacoby and Meyers.

 

Michobey checked his calendar. It showed that he was to interview Ms. Gaines at her brother’s home the following morning at 9:00 a.m. He also had a domestic violence hearing in District Court on a trailing docket at 1:30 p.m. That case could take all of his afternoon, depending on the number of other cases set ahead of it.  He got the file on the Gaines matter and reviewed it. The file contained a letter from her, and Michobey’s own physician, Dr. Charles Grimaldi, attesting that Gaines suffered from Alzheimer’s, and was unable to cope with her own affairs. He smiled when he thought how Dr. Grimaldi would appreciate if Michobey would pay attention to his orders for Michobey to stop smoking and lose some weight.  The punchy lawyer reflected it was difficult to do either when one is so unhappy. But then again, he reflected that should be considered a tired and overused excuse. After reading through the file, Michobey put out the cigarette he had just lit. He made a note to himself do some research, placed the Gaines file in his briefcase, and left the building.

 

You came into our country. You were well received. Your lives, your property, your animals were safe. We believed your assurances of friendship, and we trusted them. -Mangas Coloradas,  Apache warrior

 

Chapter II

 

A dog’s barking woke him up. No, it was not just any dog.  It was Michobey’s dog Mangas. The ferocity of the barking could only mean that someone or something was in the alley.  Perhaps it was the garbage collector.  Perhaps it was a cat or another dog. Mangas was one half German Sheppard and one half standard French Poodle. He was named in honor of the Apache warrior Mangas Coloradas. The dog was almost as ugly as his namesake. Michobey opened his eyes and looked at his alarm clock. The numerals, 8:22 a.m. glared out at him. He remembered the fifth of Jack Daniels that he picked up the prior night and then drunk dry. His mouth felt like someone had stuffed it full of cotton balls, but at least his head didn’t hurt too badly. Then Michobey reached for his telephone, and it felt as if someone had hit him in the head with a sledgehammer. He lay back down with his eyes squeezed shut and pressed his fingers to the sides of his forehead. It didn’t help. He thought about calling in sick, but dismissed the thought as he had done that too often lately after drowning his sorrows in a bottle. So Michobey gritted his teeth, took the receiver out of the cradle and hit the speed dial for the office.

 

“Michobey and Meyer Law firm. How may I help you?” Agnes answered in a cheerful voice.

The fact that anyone could be so cheerful at 8 a.m. in the morning always puzzled Michobey.

 

“John here.  I’ll be going to a nine am interview before coming into the office”.

 

“Very well, Mr. Michobey.”

 

“And Agnes.”

 

“Yes sir?”

 

“Thank you, and please thank the rest of the staff for putting up with my recent shortcomings. I’m going to try to get back on track.” Michobey said.

 

“You're welcome Mr. Michobey. You know that we all support you.”

 

 “I will try to be in by 10:00.” The dog’s barking ended. Michobey decided the crisis in the backyard must have resolved itself.  He felt thick and fuzzy along with having a throbbing headache. He went into his bathroom took some aspirin, shaved and had a short shower. He dressed in light blue slacks, pink shirt and a Walt Disney characters tie. When it came time to go to court in the afternoon, he would put on a blue blazer he kept at the office.  He figured that as crummy as he felt this morning, people should have plenty of notice that he was coming. After watering, feeding and giving some attention to his mostly ignored dog, he got into his beloved Infinity convertible and went to the drive-through at Burger King for a breakfast sandwich. It probably wasn’t the best thing to ease his queasy hunger, but he did love them. He remembered to flip his tie up over his left shoulder to avoid getting grease stains it as he drove over to Diamond Rio Drive.

 

The Erickson place was a large red brick ranch with double car garage, of the type so common in the nicer neighborhoods in northwest Roswell.  A low maintenance yard with a large cottonwood tree was shading the circular drive. Michobey parked his convertible behind a late model Mercury Marquis. “How appropriate, a Mercury Medicare sled.” Michobey thought. Then he immediately regretted his negative attitude. A quick review of the file showed that the alleged incompetent, owned her house free and clear of any mortgage and was valued at $115,000, was currently rented out at $950 per month, that she had $1871 in her checking account and $37,653 in savings accounts and CDs.  She received social security benefits of $1150.00 per month, and had been living with her brother Joe Erickson, and his wife Omega, for the last 16 months.

 

A low brick wall enclosed a small courtyard filled with flowerbeds that showed loving care. The solid wood door with ‘Moorish’ carvings opened before he could ring the bell. That was not surprising, since Michobey was 30 minutes late.  “Hello, John Michobey?” A pleasant faced gray-haired woman asked.  “Yes.” Michobey answered. “You have the advantage on me.”

 

“I’m Omega Erickson, Roberta is my sister-in-law.  Please come in.” She backed up, opening the door fully.

 

“I'm sorry that I am late.” Michobey apologized as he stepped in. Mexican tile with an intricate blue floral design accented the entryway floor and walls.  Mrs. Erickson led Michobey to the left into a living area filled with fine leather and white washed oak furniture. The room was decorated with southwestern artwork. Standing by the couch was a strikingly tall old woman with bright blue eyes. She starred in Michobey’s direction, but said nothing.

 

“My husband will be here at a minute.” Omega nodded towards the bright eyed lady. “This is my sister-in-law Roberta.” Turning towards her, she explained, “Roberta, this is the lawyer we spoke to you about. I’ll give you some privacy.” She said as she left the room. 

 

“Hello Mrs. Gaines.” Roberta just starred at him. Michobey was feeling uncomfortable when a man came in from the back of the house. Her staring was unnerving, despite his knowledge that she had an altered mental state. The man stepped forward with his hand extended.

 

“I’m Joe Erickson. How are you this fine day?”

 

“I'm good, and you?” Michobey reached for his cigarettes and asked. “Would you mind if I smoke?”

 

Erickson wrinkled his nose “Well, actually.” Michobey took his hand away from his shirt pocket.

 

“Never mind, I’ll wait until later” He said in a subdued voice. “Might I speak with you for a few minutes in private?”

 

“Sure, we can talk in my workshop.”  Erickson led the lawyer thru the kitchen and into his woodworking workshop.

 

 “I just wanted to ask you a few questions before I speak with your sister.” Michobey explained.

 

“What can I help you with?”  Erickson responded as he sat on a workbench.

 

After dusting if off, Michobey sat in a folding chair near it. “I always like to have some background information before I question somebody who may be incompetent.” Michobey explained.

 

 “What information would you like to know?” Erickson asked.

 

 “Do the two of you have any other brothers and sisters?” Michobey pulled out a small notebook.  “And if so, what are their names and ages?”

 

“We had two sisters and a brother. Our brother Ralph was killed in Europe during World War II.  Wanda died of cancer 12 years ago. Our sister Marguerite lives in San Antonio, and is 80. I am the baby in the family at 77.”  Erickson explained as he picked up a project he was working on.

 

“Does Roberta have any children?” Michobey went on. “And if so, what are their names, ages, and addresses? And tell me about any marriages, she had.” He asked as making notes about the sibling group.

 

“Roberta never had any children.” Erickson replied.  “She was married in the late thirties to Mike Thomas.  He was killed in Okinawa towards the end of World War II. She remarried in 1948 to Herald Gaines.  He died of a heart attack in 1982.” Erickson stated with little expression. Michobey wondered if Erickson disliked the late Mr. Gaines.

 

“Can you tell me about what jobs she had?”  Michobey asked.

 

The man pondered this for a minute. “Well, Roberta usually worked as a secretary or office manager.  She ended up retiring from the school system from an administrative secretary job.” Erickson paused. “I do remember her telling me that the best job she ever had was the one she started during World War II. She worked for the Army out at Roswell Army Air Field. She worked there until 1947.” Erickson paused again, “She loved the job so much.  It really surprised  me when she resigned from it.”

 

“Well let’s go back and let me speak with her.” Michobey said as he stood up. 

 

 When Erickson and Michobey returned to the living room, they found Mrs. Erickson and Roberta Gaines sitting next to each other on the couch. The former was holding the latter’s hand and speaking with her in a soft voice. “It’s alright Roberta. Mr. Michobey is only here to help you.”

 

“But I don’t know him!” Roberta said in an agitated voice.

 

“It’s okay, Roberta I’ll stay here with you.” Omega patted her sister-in-laws hand.

 

 “I just need to speak with you for a few minutes.” Michobey said quietly, trying to calm his client.

 

“I need to go to the bathroom” Roberta said in a childlike voice.

 

Omega stood and leads Roberta away. “We’ll be back in a minute.”

 

 “I’m sorry about this. She sometimes does this when she gets stressed.” Erickson explained. They stood silently until the women returned.

 

Michobey started, “I just need to ask….?”

 

Roberta cut him off, “Are you going to hurt me?”

 

“No, no, nothing like that at all. I just need to ask you some things. Would that be okay?” Michobey trying to sooth her.

 

“I suppose.” She replied as she sat down and crossed her arms over her chest.

 

“Could you tell me how old you are?” Michobey ask as he also sat down.

 

There was a long pause. “I don't know.” As Roberta unfolded her arms.

 

 “Do you know who you're living with?” Michobey asked.

 

“My brother?” Roberta paused, and then reached up with her right hand and tugged her ear. Finally she replied.  “I'm not sure. I think his name might be Joey.” She held her hand between the two of them. “Why do you ask? I’m hungry!” She said petulantly. 

 

Michobey continued. “Do you know the address of this house?” 

 

“No!” She exclaimed as she crossed her arms over her chest again.

 

“Do you know the street it is on?” Michobey asked.  Roberta just stared at him with angry eyes.

 

After a moment Michobey continued. “Have you ever been married?”

 

She looked sad. “Yes.”

 

 “How many times?”

 

There was a pause before Roberta answered. “I've had two husbands.”

 

Michobey paused and then asked. “Do you remember their names?”

 

A frown crossed her face. “Mike was my first husband. He was killed during the war, then I re-married.” There was a long pause. “But I don't remember his name.”

 

“Was his name Herald Gaines?” Michobey asked.

 

 “I don’t remember . . . perhaps . . . maybe. . . .I just don’t remember.” She frowned.

 

Michobey paused and then asked. “What kind of work did you used to do?” 

 

“I was a secretary.” She replied after a minute.

 

 “Do you remember the places that you worked?” She nodded. “Tell me the last-place you worked?” Michobey leaned forward.

 

“It was at a school.” Roberta replied as she looked out the large living room window at a moving van that pulled up to the house across the street.

 

“Do you remember the name of the school?” She frowned and shook her head no. “Do you remember any other places that you worked?” She closed her eyes and shook her head no again. “Did you ever work for the Army Air Force?”  Michobey asked. 

 

There was a long pause. “Yes.” 

 

Michobey asked. “Did you like that job?” She nodded affirmatively.

 

“Do you remember why you left it?” Michobey asked

 

Roberta looked away.  “I don’t want to talk about that.” A frown crossed her face. 

 

Michobey paused before asking. “Why not?”

 

 

Michobey's curiosity was raised, and despite feeling he should stop this line of questioning as it was not important to the matter, he continued. “How were they bad?” 

 

She paused before answering. “They threatened me!”

 

“How did they threaten you?” Michobey asked. There was another pause.

 

“I was told that I would go to prison or even be killed if I told anybody what I saw.” Her bright blue eyes filled with tears. ‘They even threatened to kill my family.”

 

“Why would they threaten to do that?” 

 

“I saw the bodies.  I was at the base hospital visiting a friend . . . . when I saw one.” Roberta said.

 

“What did you see?” Michobey said with increasing interest as he leaned forward.

 

“The little bodies.” Roberta put her face into her hands and leaned away from him.

 

“You saw some bodies?” Michobey ask as sat back so not to intimidate her.

 

She took her hands away. “Not someone, some thing!”

 

“What did they look like?” he continued.

 

“They were little . . . the . . . the size of a child.” came the answer.

 

“Where did you see them?” Michobey asked as he unconsciously leaned forward again.

 

“It was in a corridor near the hospital’s morgue.  They brought them in on gurneys.  The bodies were covered with sheets, but one of the doctors lifted up the sheet off one of their faces.” Roberta put her hands to her face again.

 

“What did it look like?” he ask.

 

“It had a big head and, it had. . . .  almond shaped eyes.” Roberta paused again, gathering her thoughts. “They rolled it into the morgue and then an MP came and asked my name and address.” She paused again.  “Later on, two men came to see me at home and told me that it was a secret, and that I had better not say anything to anybody…..or things would happen. I might go to prison or worse”

 

“What did you do then?” Michobey asked.

 

“I quit!  I don't want to talk about this anymore!” Roberta agitatedly put her hands to her ears.

 

“It's okay. We don’t have to talk anymore.” Michobey said as Roberta started crying once again. He got up and walked to the entranceway of the house. Mr. Erickson came with him.

 

“Would you come outside for moment?” After they were outside and closed the door, Michobey asked, “Did you know anything about Roberta seeing any bodies?”

 

Erickson smiled. “She has only recently mentioned about seeing these things at the hospital after the war. We didn't do a whole of a stock to it . . . as you know her mind is going and such. We just figured that she has incorporated some of this whole Roswell UFO nonsense into a dream that she believes.” Erickson smiled again, “I just don’t believe in little green space men.”

 

“I really don’t either.” Michobey also smiled. “But could you tell me the first time, the very first time, you heard her say anything about this?”

 

“It was only after she started to lose her senses, within the last year or so.  She never said anything about it before. If it really happened, I would think she would have said something before.” Erickson stated.  “If anything had really happened, she would have said something before, don’t you figure?”

 

“You’re probably right.”  Michobey said as he turned to leave. “Well, in any case, I've got to get to my office. Sorry about running so late this morning.” He paused, “I just wanted to let you know that I will recommend to the Court that you be appointed her Guardian.” 

 

“Thank you. Have a nice day” Erickson said as he closed the door behind Michobey.