First off, let me get it out of the way that I'm not straight. I consider sexuality fluid and don't really identify as anything. I picked straight because I'm primarily looking to date/sleep with men right now.

Also, i'm not here to be your personal suicide girl. I'm a thinking and feeling individual who wants to be treated as such. Sorry for so many grumpy things right off the bat. Dudes on this site can be really fucking creepy, man.

I never know what to write here and I know that's a cliche to mention (and that mentioning it's a cliche is a cliche in and of itself). I'm usually the person sitting at the end of a bar doing crossword puzzles and pretending the rest of the world doesn't exist. However, I am secretly longing for someone to approach me and talk to me about idiosyncratic nonsense. Once you start talking to me though I'm off the charts enthusiastic and I've been told pretty entertaining.

I grew up in the punk/hardcore community and it really shaped my life and is something that's still incredibly important to me. In fact, I will go as far to say that if you don't identify as punk/hardcore/metal/insert other random niche genre here then I probably won't want to date you. I have an aversion to normal and the tendency to sappily (drunkenly) say things like "Punk Rock Saved My Life" as if I truly mean it.

I'm sarcastic, goofy, and talk a mile a minute and love to tell stories and argue politics.

I'm currently finishing my masters and tutoring to pay the bills. Since I get asked this all the time and I'm sick of explaining it in messages: I'm getting my masters in Literature from Northwestern. I am focusing on the Harlem detective novels of the author Chester Himes. Not many people have read his work. I suggest "Cotton Comes to Harlem." It's a hard-boiled detective novel set in Harlem with black detectives and it is a grotesque, hilarious, incredibly political look at Civil Rights era race relations. I also understand that my topic may be a source of controversy as I am a white woman with a ton of privilege and could be accused of co-opting the voice of the marginalized. I'm definitely willing to discuss this issue. I have always been drawn to African American studies since I was in undergrad and do understand the very tenuous space I take up in the conversation.

I watch a lot of crappy TV and read a ton of books.

I spend a great deal of time on my own and prefer to keep it that way. I like living in my own head and can sometimes be seen as distant but I really do enjoy the company of others. I just might not want to see a person more than once a week. Don't take it personally!

I love to go to shows and do karaoke and go out to eat at new restaurants.

Picking things up with my toes.

Writing literary criticism.

Remembering the lyrics to every crappy song ever.

Dancing like a doofus.

Freckles.

My weird hair.

Tattoos. Specifically my leg sleeve. It's really bright and I'm constantly getting stopped on the street so people can look at it. Or my horrible batman tattoo because people think I have some sort of gaping wound on the top of my foot.

Big cheesy smile.

Books: Edgar Allan Poe, Alan Moore, Neil Gaiman, Raymond Chandler, lots of ridiculous Young Adult fantasy novels. My skin has become the tapestry through which I express my love of books and I have tattoos from: Alice in Wonderland, The Golden Compass, To Kill a Mockingbird, Where the Sidewalk Ends, Pippi Longstocking, Where the Wild Things Are, and The Wizard of Oz.

Movies: Back to the Future, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Princess Bride. I basically get bored by super intellectual movies and can't watch anything sad because I cry too much, so if we stick to weird comedies I'll be good. Don't even try to make me watch a horror movie. I can't stand that shit.

Music: Misfits, Dead Kennedys, The Cramps, X, Talking Heads, Sleater-Kinney, Bratmobile, Pissed Jeans. My music taste is actually pretty diverse and I listen to whatever strikes my mood at the time. I love to rap at karaoke and think that the members of wu-tang can do no wrong. I just listed the punk here because I'm lazy and it's my go to. I also really love pop music and 90s/early 2000s r&b. Blu Cantrell's "Oops" is my anthem so don't cross me.

TV: The Wire, Antique's Roadshow, Walking Dead, Dateline Mysteries. Anything Joss Whedon does. Simpsons seasons 3-10.

Food: I eat garbage. Absolute garbage. I think I have a couple boxes of corn dogs in my freezer and like a lot of american cheese. Grease, grease and more grease. ALL THE GREASE. Put it in me.

1. Books
2. My Dog
3. Sarcasm
4. Batman
5. My Family
6. Karaoke

What other people are thinking about.

How the guitar solo from "We Are 138" is simultaneously the best and worst thing.

How bored my dog must be all the time.

For a really serious answer: Lately I've been thinking a lot about intersectional feminism because of my masters thesis research and how important it is for everyone who considers themselves a feminist to read about intersectionality. I'm disgusted and appalled at the way black women have been pushed out of the feminist movement. If you meet me, I will probably talk your ear off about stuff like this so if you found your eyes rolling at the mention of this or your brain glazing over, then you probably won't like me.

Hanging out with my best friend because it's one of the few nights she has off. I also go to bed pretty early because I have to work in the mornings on Saturday.

We usually go out to a divey bar or sit around her house and do that totally awesome thing of sitting on our phones on opposite couches and rarely interacting. The digital age, everyone!

I'm listed as being in a "Domestic Partnership" with my dog on Facebook.

I watch The Vampire Diaries every week.

I like to go to Bulls games but only to watch Benny the Bull do his thing because dude is hilarious!

I accidentally checked mandatory on "Evolution has no place in schools" oooops

I haven't ridden a bike in 4 years and didn't learn to ride until I was 21.

You're into punk and maybe want to go see a show.

You want to try a new place to eat and don't have anyone else to go with.

You don't think feminism is a dirty word. I don't shave! SCARY right? Not really, it's pretty luxurious.

Adding some caveats here because I'm getting so very close to deleting this thing:
"I wanna have sex with you forever. Be my wife" is not an appropriate means of introduction. Never message me this or anything like it.

If you start off with "greetings" I will think you're an alien.

Don't only comment on my looks. That's stupid. Also, I'm kinda fat. I'm aware of this. My body is awesome and you shouldn't feel compelled to tell me to lose weight. That shit gets a j/o hand motion and an immediate block because I just don't give a shit.

I'm a woman not a girl. Refer to me as such if you must use gendered words.

Yes I expressed an interest in women. No I don't want to be in a threesome with you and another person.

I'm not your sweet pea or darling or dear. I am a stranger.

I'm really good at detecting form messages. Don't send them to me.

If you think of yourself as a "nice guy" and finish that thought with "girls are bitches who friend zone me" you're not a nice guy and can fuck off.

Yes, I'm this opinionated and grating in person if you're a moron. Don't be a moron and we'll get along swimmingly.