Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


30 Portland, OR Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 19–39
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:32am
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
A little extra
Strictly anything
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Libra, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, Spanish (Poorly), Sign Language (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm not really good at describing myself. I guess I'm-

???: It looks like you're trying to write an online dating profile. Would you like some help?

"Clippy?! I haven't seen you since 8th grade. "

Clippy: Where we used to crush essays!

"This is me trying to find love, not a dissection of whether Robert Frost is alluding to more personal fears than the apocalypse in 'Fire and Ice.'"

Clippy: As I recall, Ms. Dawzack was pretty hot and pretty impressed by that paper.

"Lead the way, clippy."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I moved to-

Clippy: Use present tense to engage the reader!

Moving to Portland, four years ago, was-

Clippy: Present!

..stands as one the best decisions I have ever m-

Clippy:! decisions... ever. Currently, I'm studying for actuarial exams, while working as a door to door salesman-

Clippy: while such charmingly antiquated occupations do great in your market, people also want to see you working for a better world.

... with a company, uh, "fighting the good fight,"... against Comcast. Most of my spare time is spent-

Clippy: You don't learn.

I am spending most of my spare time on stage or in a tech booth.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I don't know that I've particularly mastered anything. Overall-

Clippy: "Really good," is subjective. Interests and passions should be enough.

pool, cooking, trivia, improv, talking through ideas, polishing off bottles of wine as dawn breaks, meta-jokes

Clippy: Popular interests for your location include PBR, hallucinogens and yoga. Consider adding these to your list.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"You look like a young Momar Gaddafi." 1
"I like your shirt." 2
"You look like a guy who digs sexy ladies and cheap drinks! " 3*

Clippy: Did you know- proper citation of interviews an author has conducted off record require "personal communication," be listed as the source?


1. Becky, (personal communication, Jan 2011)

2. Various sources about various t-shirts (personal communications, between Oct 2010-Aug 2014)

3. Street Advertiser Outside Spyce Gentlemen's Club (personal communications, June 2013)
*Academic honesty dictates I should note: his observation, while true, was likely biased.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
IJ is the top of my list-

Clippy: IJ?

"Infinite Jest, the definitive post modern novel."

Clippy: Pretentious

Bret Easton Ellis

Clippy: Insincere and pretentious. What about Vonnegut? Everyone loves Vonnegut.

Vonnegut (Assuming you understand "Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt," trumps "So it goes.")

Clippy: Urg. You trashed the only literary quote anyone knows. Congrats. What about movies?


Clippy: Oh thank God. I figured you'd reach for Godard or Tru-

I feel like watching science triumph over a forgotten god set a tone for how I'd come to view the world later in life. The notion that things, no matter how strange or perilous are comprehensible, but our lives still require us to take risks when handling the-

Clippy: TV? You have one?!

The Wire, Breaking Bad, Hannibal, Louie,

Clippy: Rote.

Moral Orel season 3

Clippy: What? Even Tim Burton abandoned morose claymation. Should I just autocomplete "you probably haven't heard of it," for music?

I like a lot of cross genre stuff. Mary Prankster, The Real Tuesday Weld, Alabama 3, most recently The Baseballs.

Clippy: So that's a yes?

When it comes to food Chris Bianco put it best, " You fuckin' fill in the blank, I love it."

Clippy: It's been awhile since you last saved your document. We could both pretend this never happened...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I. Intelligent conversation
    A. Creative outlets
        1. wait, Ctrl-Z
              a. it's a list not an outline!
                   ☻. What symbol is that?
II. A way of undoing autoformating
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Clippy: List things that everyone can relate to. Like whether your margins are too small to print on an Epson 720, or if anyone will notice you've changed your font to Arial in order to inflate your page count, or how emerging cheaper markets like open office will affect your future job prospects.

I'm still evolving and growing. One big worry these days is the changing role people and paperclips that I grew up with will have in my life. I still feel a loyalty to them and care about them, but I don't know how to explain that I can't have the same connection with them that I used to.

Clippy: ...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I’m an empty essay... fill me out!

Clippy: Leave one section blank to cultivate an air of mystery and express a cavalier attitude.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I dunno, do chicks dig emotional scars? Even if they're not particularly deep or particularly unique?

Clipply: You're probably not pale enough to get away with brooding.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Clippy: Be honest about what you want in a partner.

You can help me upgrade from Windows 95.

Clippy: Really honest.

You wanna walk around and kick the tires of my mind...
You're equal measures smart and sultry.

Clippy: Press Ctrl-P to print your document...