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30 Portland, OR Man, Cis Man

Man, Cis Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 19–39
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 9:57pm
Straight, Sapiosexual
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
A little extra
Atheism and it’s important
Doesn’t have kids
English, Spanish (Somewhat), Sign Language (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm kind of a nerd, but more in the old academic sense than the modern pop-culture focused-

???: It looks like you're trying to write an online dating profile. Would you like some help?

"Clippy?! I haven't seen you since 8th grade. "

Clippy: Where we used to crush essays!

"This is me trying to find love, not a dissection of whether Robert Frost is alluding to more personal fears than the apocalypse in 'Fire and Ice.'"

Clippy: As I recall, Ms. Dawzack was pretty hot and pretty impressed by that paper.

"Lead the way, clippy."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I moved to-

Clippy: Use present tense to engage the reader!

Moving to Portland, four years ago, was-

Clippy: Present!

..stands as one the best decisions I have ever m-

Clippy:! decisions... ever. Though it's not that competitive.

Clippy: Optimism!

I'm working in bankruptcies right now, which mostly seems recession proof. The need to defer blame to entry level fodder rather than systemic issues also protects against automation and offers job security as long as I remain good at blaming others for my problems.

Clippy: That's optimistic. Let's move on to other things you're good at. Very different things. Things which are not massive character flaws.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Generally speaking, I've got a pretty refined palette. The downside is I spend a lot of time focusing on the flaws in anything I work on. so it's tough to feel like I've really mastered anything.

Clippy: "Really good," is subjective. Interests and passions should be enough.

pool, cooking, trivia, meta-jokes

Clippy: Popular interests for your location include PBR, hallucinogens and yoga. Consider adding these to your list.

I am pretty good at PBR
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"You look like a young Momar Gaddafi." 1
"That's a cool shirt." 2
"You look like a guy who digs sexy ladies and cheap drinks! " 3*

Clippy: Did you know- proper citation of interviews an author has conducted off record require "personal communication," be listed as the source?


1. Becky, (personal communication, Jan 2011)

2. Various sources about various t-shirts (personal communications, between Oct 2010-Aug 2015)

3. Street Advertiser Outside Spyce Gentlemen's Club (personal communications, June 2013)
*Academic honesty dictates I should note: his observation, while true, was likely biased.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
IJ is the top of my list-

Clippy: IJ?

"Infinite Jest, the definitive post modern novel."

Clippy: Pretentious

Bret Easton Ellis

Clippy: Insincere and pretentious. What about Vonnegut? Everyone loves Vonnegut.

Vonnegut (Assuming you understand "Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt," trumps "So it goes.")

Clippy: Urg. You trashed the only literary quote anyone knows. Congrats. What about movies?


Clippy: Oh thank God. I figured you'd reach for Godard or Tru-

I feel like watching science triumph over a forgotten god set a tone for how I'd come to view the world later in life. The notion that things, no matter how strange or perilous are comprehensible, but our lives still require us to take risks when handling the-

Clippy: TV? You have one?!

The Wire, Breaking Bad, Hannibal, Louie,

Clippy: Rote.

Moral Orel season 3

Clippy: What? Even Tim Burton abandoned morose claymation. Should I just autocomplete "you probably haven't heard of it," for music?

As an upside to the Greece collapse I've been turned onto Koza Mostra. Mary Prankster and Alabama 3 are perennial favorites.

Clippy: So that's a yes?

When it comes to food Chris Bianco put it best, " You fuckin' fill in the blank, I love it."

Clippy: It's been awhile since you last saved your document. We could both pretend this never happened...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I. Intelligent conversation
    A. Creative outlets
        1. wait, Ctrl-Z
              a. it's a list not an outline!
                   ☻. What symbol is that?
II. A way of undoing autoformating
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Someday Facebook will aggregate your sense of nostalgia. It will compare how often and reverently you look back to how much you appreciate the now and what you look forward to. It will look at your data in relation to thousands of comparable lives and millions establishing a baseline. It will then tell you precisely how far behind you, your best days are.

Clippy: You could do the same thing in excel!

On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I’m an empty essay... fill me out!

Clippy: Leave one section blank to cultivate an air of mystery and express a cavalier attitude.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The funniest thing about all of this is that I'm putting a shot future happiness in technology that thinks Yoga is actually one of my interests.

Clippy: Yeah you're fucked.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Clippy: Be honest about what you want in a partner.

You can help me upgrade from Windows 95.

Clippy: Really honest.

"She said tell me what you want, but before you decide,
Tell me the last dream that boy made you cry"

Clippy: Press Ctrl-P to print your document...