One time I bought Prada boots so I could protect my Chuck Taylors from the rain. It'll make more sense if you get to the bottom of the page, I promise.

Else: Smirking, squinting, exasperated sighs, entirely too excitable around fat animals, and probably talking about something you didn't think people cared for.

Photoshop shenanigans and warping impressionable minds.

Other hobbies:
- Building micro-environments (freshwater)
- being forced to do a whole lot of this
- getting students worked up about Pokemon just so I can call them nerds.

- oh yea and that.

- Thinking with portals.
- Making inappropriate analogies.
- Touching my tongue to the inside of my cheek, as it were.
- Reminding cougars that being older than my mother is still not a turn on. Reeking of Chanel No. 5 and desperation kinda is though.

- Jaded as fuck and laughing about it.

(I) Books: Pretty serious man-crush on John Green. Murakami, Chuck Klosterman, John Berendt, David Cordingly, Andrew Meier, Heinlein, Clarke, Adams and -yes- the ever present Vonnegut.

(II) Movies: Six String Samurai, Adrift in Tokyo and The Iron Giant are beautiful, you shut your filthy mouth. Wild Zero, Iron Sky and Hobo with a Shotgun are my type of dumb.

(III) Shows: David Attenborough narrates my dreams. Brushing up on MacGyver just in case.

(IV) Music: You know, stuff. Here's a small sample of stuff you may not have heard of, sharing is fun.

DJ Shadow, RJd2, blockhead, Babyland, Trentemøller, God is an Astronaut, Tub Ring, Xpolding Plastix, Yonderboi, Nicolas Repac, Caravan Palace, Doctor Flake, Parov Stelar, Seasick Steve, Archive, Aloe Blacc, Junior Wells

(V) Food: Yep, food.

(VI) Artists: Ralph Steadman, Shel Silverstein, Craig Mullins, Goya, Bill Watterson, Seuss, James Gurney, John Berkey.

(VII) Comedians: Dylan Moran, George Carlin, Louis CK, Noel Fielding, Jimmy Carr

(1) Wordplay.
(2) Smirks and knowing glances.
(3) Lens Flare.
(4) Smartass remarks.
(5) My turtle - little did I know it was a 50-70 year commitment when I was 10.
(6) was a lie.

I still kinda want to be a dinosaur. :(

Prophylactics or progeny?
Scotch, Rye, or Bourbon?

Friday is rarely my actual Friday, but there's a good chance I'm doing something with Colonelcheddar (the Jack Lemmon to my Walter Mattheau it would seem) probably throwing a BBQ, playing Cards Against Humanity and getting destroyed in Mario Party.

If you were hoping to read "clubs" I'm a bit wubbed out.

Drunk searching OKCupid by keywords like "fedora" and "poly" for cheap laughs, obviously.

- "What are you thinking about?" - will invariably be answered with "Robots."

- I'm not a know it all, I just have access to Google. Please don't tell anyone or I will be ruined.

- I can't stand Parks and Recreation, and I'm not sorry.

-You want to be my new Academy of Sciences/Exploratorium buddy. Maybe eventually we can graduate up to partners in mad science, if we're not both terrified of commitment.

-You feel like it. You still wont do it, but let's entertain the thought.

-You spend an inordinate amount of time forwarding your self-serving second wave Manifest Destiny so you can brag about it on Instagram. #with #18 #thousand #hashtags #lotsofhashtags #obnoxious #boring #trite #photography