If you send generic mass messages I hope you die in a clown-bear-Lego-stairs shark-car
Just stop sending me stupid messages.
Please. I am so tired of stupid messages. ;_;
Unfortunately, all of the following IS necessary to say.
message me if:
- You want to be the Crash
to my Burn
, not the Scott to my Ramona
- You have something to talk about
- You have a good anti-joke to tell me
- You can onomatopoeize bagpipe music
- You are not embarrassed to be here. Seriously, why do so many
people say that?
I will most likely message you back
if you are:
- A high match
- A tall, scrawny person with dyed hair, tattoos, and/or piercings
(not required, but I have a type, okay)
- Really goddamn weird
Filed under "shit I should not have to say", DO NOT message me
- You didn't read anything on my profile
- All you have to say is "hi"
- We have nothing in common at all
- You are mostly pretty ordinary
- Your only goal is to insert your penis into the nearest
consenting warm hole
- You are a member of a sex cult (Looking at you, SOMA Fingerbang
- You wear those goddamn toe shoes. DEALBREAKER
- You want to tell me about how sad and lonely your life is
- You are the type of person who is only interested in someone when they are not
interested in you
. I don't have time for yer games.
- You and your significant other have decided that a bisexual woman
under 30 would be cheaper than a blow-up doll to play with
- You're a juggalo, otherkin, active in the military, weeaboo
, anarchist, or fan of Ayn Rand
- If you describe yourself as a "gentleman" or a
I not only don't want to date you, I want NOTHING TO
DO WITH YOU! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧