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dickpictures

22 F San Francisco, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
If you were thinking of skipping the reading and going straight to messaging me for sex, please click here. If not, ignore this and carry on.

Organic sentient meatsack seeks same. Must contain endoskeleton and no more than 4 artificial limbs.

Lisbeth Salander meets Harpo Marx seeks Spider Jerusalem meets James Deen. Two-headed cat a plus.

Goofball goth kid seeks smooth-talkin' tattooed nerd. No Trekkies.

Dutch coffee seeks black coffee with five sugars. A bit of cream ok.

Sex-positivity and adventurous appetites required. May contain cats. There's about a 99.9% chance I'm not gonna be your girlfriend. If you're okay with that, read on.
What I’m doing with my life
It's pretty weird. The most mundane thing I'm doing is working on a bachelor's in illustration. I also hold down a job at a kinky coffee shop, get naked in photos for money, make/destroy clothes, travel to conventions to sell cosplay photos, hang out in goth clubs, sell obscene buttons, and maintain a busy social/sex life. You do what you gotta do.
I’m really good at
Not taking shit from anyone, barista-ing, and making references nobody gets.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm incredibly distinctive-looking. Pick one.

First conversational impressions seem to be quite polarized. I either "have a good head on [my] shoulders" or I'm a "dumb [cunt/bitch/whore]". Very little in between.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
In general: 90's revival. major hard-ons for the weird and creepy. unhealthy obsession with vintage computer technology & culture. so goth I shit bats and piss eyeliner.

Right now: Sandman.
Neal Stephenson, Warren Ellis, William Gibson, Junji Ito, Philip K. Dick, Lovecraft.

Hard Candy, Stalker, Brazil, Hackers, Blade Runner, The Big Lebowski, Mean Girls, Mirrormask, Videodrome, High Fidelity, LoTR, Star Wars, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, THX 1138.
I could talk about movies for days. Show me something I haven't seen.

Right now: Monster.
Adventure Time, Venture Bros, Archer, QI, Daria, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It may be worth mentioning that I've come to really, really hate Doctor Who.

Right now: Nitzer Ebb, Morphine, Queens of the Stone Age.
Nine Inch Nails, Ministry, Massive Attack, Tricky,Amanda Palmer, Fiona Apple, Placebo, Anything from Wax Trax!. psst: last.fm
I have finally reached my ultimate goal of simultaneously having older no-longer-culturally-relevant friends praise my music taste and having no idea what people my age listen to. Score.

I eat as healthily and as adventurously as my wallet allows. Insatiable sweet tooth. Feed me coffee.
For drinks; rum, bourbon, cold sake. nothin fruity.
The six things I could never do without
- a good but unpretentious cup of coffee.
- doc martens.
- meowmeows.
- dark music.
- pockets.
- my city.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What if he did, what if he didn't; what if the world was made of pudding?

How have some of you not gotten the memo about fedoras yet?

I pretty much only ever edit this profile in the small hours of the night
On a typical Friday night I am
Slinging coffee and dick jokes at your friendly neighborhood coffee-and-dick-joke shop for a few hours, then wandering over to the goth club so I can rub my nipples while listening to Goodbye Horses

I've never had much interest in drugs, sports, or the outdoors - if that's your bag, awesome, but don't invite me hiking.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
There is an idea of a "dickpictures"; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi girls
  • Ages 22–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You should message me if your bottom line is to meet new people and have new experiences, not to convince someone/anyone to touch your genitals.

Girls/female-bodied folk: I like you but I turn into a blibbering, flailing, octopus-like dumbass when I try to talk to you, so..... sorry.

Unfortunately, all of the following IS necessary to say.

You SHOULD message me if:
- You want to be the Crash to my Burn, not the Scott to my Ramona
- You have something to talk about
- That something is cats
- You have a good anti-joke to tell me
- You have strong opinions, but are able/willing to shut up and listen to someone else's
- You can onomatopoeize bagpipe music
- You clicked all of these links and you need help going on with your life

I will most likely message you back if you are:
- A high match
- Entertaining
- Somewhat resembling a Tim Burton character
- Intelligent/articulate
- Really goddamn weird

Filed under "shit I should not have to say", DO NOT message me if:
- You didn't read anything on my profile
- All you have to say is "hi"
- We have nothing in common at all
- You are mostly pretty ordinary
- You are over 37 years old. Hey old dudes: GO AWAY. I ain't your fuckin Lolita.
- You want to lecture me about my lifestyle choices or explicitly tell me how much you dislike me (oh no, my feelings)
- Your only goal is to insert your penis into the nearest consenting warm hole
- You are a member of a sex cult (Looking at you, SOMA Fingerbang Gang)
- You wear those goddamn toe shoes. DEALBREAKER
- You want to tell me about how sad and lonely your life is
- You are the type of person who is only interested in someone when they are not interested in you. I don't have time for yer games.
- You and your significant other have decided that the blow-up doll just isn't cutting it anymore
- You're a juggalo, otherkin, active in the military, weeaboo, anarchist, or fan of Ayn Rand
- If you describe yourself as a "gentleman" or a "nice guy" I not only don't want to date you, I want NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧