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40 M Los Angeles, CA

My Details

Last Online
Jul 21
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Not at all
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats

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My self-summary
Trying to land a funny, cute, intelligent girl with minimal baggage who trampolines naked on the second date. In return you'll get a total superstud who's secure enough in his Tremors sized manhood to pick you up in an '03 Toyota Echo. My car is shaped like an egg, deal with it.

I work for a college and help my brother with his online business.

Into snowboarding and skating and hope to someday have a little house with a mini ramp in the backyard.

I love animals and most kids. Have a cat who's pretty rad. I pity the fool who doesn't dig my cat. I recently purchased a lint roller so if you come over and get cat hair on you don't worry I got that shit handled. That's my secret plan now. Have you come over, sit on the couch, get cat hair on your butt and I'll be really gentlemanly and say, "Oh, let me get that for you," and lint-roll your sweet sweet ace.

I also have a ton of orange juice right now don't ask me how I got it. If you're my girlfriend you can have free orange juice. Its good on a hot day or if you have scurvy.

UPDATE: I've run out of orange juice. Please don't let this effect our future life together.
What I’m doing with my life
Working lots at a college.
I’m really good at
Snowboarding, pinball, getting along with moms.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Erotic hobbit fan fiction. David Lynch, John Waters. If you've seen Story of Riki or Street Trash I will marry you. I love the UCB theater. Trailer Park Boys is a TV show.

vinyl. When I'm emo I listen to Morrisey and water a dying rose with my tears. Pixies, Bad Brains. 90's Hip Hop Jurassic 5, Wu Tang, Gheto Boys, Eric B and Rakim, souls of mischief, krs-one. 70s soul is my favorite.
The six things I could never do without
3 eyed mutant monkeys
partially hydrogenated imitation cheese sauce substitute
green tea mochi ice cream
oxygen lol tee hee rofl omfg!!!!
Flavor Flavin
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What is the sound of one booty clapping?
On a typical Friday night I am
Watching Night Rider (don't ask me what I'm doing while watching Knight Rider). OKC masturbation joke yeah!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Thought I found a white pube once. Completely floored me. Turned out it was a cat hair.

I also follow a puppet cult. It's a cult run by puppets that meets once a month on the street in korea town. Hipsters have started taking it over (Is there anything cool they can't ruin?).
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 28–43
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
We both know you're not gonna message me you coy little mogwai