THE UGLY: i have four kids, tow of which are not in my life. not my choice just how it is. while i have never been addicted to drinking or drugs, i have struggled with cutting. i know its stupid and wrong, but it's still there. i hadn't had a relapse in about three years until the person i believed was my soulmate destroyed my heart. again i know its stupid and i am actually wanting to educate and inspire others to face this terrible disease. i have been homeless six times. this does not mean i want you to take care of me, in fact the exact opposite is true. i have a hard time recieveing gifts at all because of my shame in this fact. but it is still true, and there fore it goes into the ugly category. i am a child abuse survivor, which played havoc on my self esteem.
THE BAD: im kind of a geek. i also have never had a girl not cheat on me. this is when i discovered a new concept: the one common denominator in every relationship you have is you. this got me thinking about what i was doing wrong. the conclusion? one: i almost always put her needs and desires ahead of my own. this then gets mistaken for weakness and not the respect im trying to show. two:i am way to nice. nice guys always finish last, bad guys always steal the girl. my last three girlfriends broke up with me over money. this is a funny fact considering that one of them didn't have a job for a year and i was working three jobs ot support her and her two kids. i am trying ot use my creativity to support myself, and its not like i don't have a job, i do. i pay my bills, and work hard to make these dreams of mine happen. i also have an affection for sex in daring locations. i have a sex bucket list if you will. i also listen to ninety percent Christian music.
THE GOOD: if your still here well heres the list we have been waiting for. i really am a good guy. i love my kids with my whole heart. i love God, and im thankful; for what Jesus did for all mankind. i have flaws and weakness, but i can openly admit them. in that there's strength. i am a spiritual gladiator and i do not quit on anyone. if i am with you i give a hundred and ten percent. that sometimes works against me, but its true. i have a jealous side i don't show very often, but its a defense mechanisium. we all want to know our mates still have fight and fire for us. i am caring and loving. i am writing a book right now called dining with God, things He showed me through serving tables. i also am writing a few movies, and trying to launch two reality dating shows. i am worth a chat or two for sure. i am not seem like much, but i ma a diamond in the rough. i love with everything i have. i simpley do not quit.