DORKY: Yes, I too, embrace the title dork. Perhaps it's the endless hours spent playing games such as Mario Party, Super Smash Bros., Final Fantasy, Paper Mario, or a myriad of PC games. Perhaps it's the mild obsessions with Garfield and Peanuts. Or is it because I throw parties for events like the release of Star Wars movies? Like the mystery of Tootsie Roll Pops, the world may never know. However, it is (at least in my dream world) an endearing trait. What is wrong with being a little child-like, I say?
- Blue Bell ice cream in many of its heavenly forms (especially ones with 'cookie' in the title).
- caramel macchiatos.
- late nights with friends.
- Mario Party.
- alcohol in its girlier, tastier (or tasteless) forms.
- laughing so hard it hurts.
- the Wallflowers.
- good cries.
- Star Wars.
- Ewan McGregor movies.
- any girly, sappy movies.
- days spent entirely inside malls.
- book stores.
- lemonade and cookies.
- novel typefaces.
- pillow fights.
- screeching like a banshee. (This is my version of singing.)
- homemade hot chocolate.
- homemade chocolate chip cookies.
- anything chocolate, really.
- the ability to form coherent sentences.
- sleeping in.
- the professional line of Adobe products.
- hugs that say 'I miss you.'
- playing in the rain.
- Italian cream sodas.
- student loan payments.
- popped collars.
- tobacco in all of its horrendous forms.
- internet shorthand.
- excessive punctuation!!! Is this really necessary?!?!?!?!
- ugg boots.
- arrogance, ignorance, and other generally annoying personality traits.
- the word 'faggot.'
- just about any Microsoft product. (People who worked on producing IE, Outlook, Frontpage, and Publisher were obviously overpaid. Of course, there are exceptions; MSSQL databases seem efficient.)
- anything annoying, really.
EVEN MORE RANDOM, USELESS INFO: I'm a pretty happy and optimistic person (especially after a drink or two). I have a cat that I adore, even though she randomly attacks me. I prefer crunchy to smooth peanut butter. I eat grilled cheese sandwiches with ketchup. I drink pickle juice. I'm not good at deciphering poetry. I like to drive with one hand. I read a lot of contemporary fiction. I ran out of room for quotes on my Facebook profile. I can fix your WordPress blog, but I had trouble learning my manual can opener. (My kitchen was covered in olive juice. Oops.) I enjoy dancing and singing like a moron in my living room.
"The bottom line is, couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everyone else, but the difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time and if it's right and they're real lucky, one of them will say something." - Dr. Perry Cox, [scrubs]
JD [as Robin]: Holy inferiority complex, Batman! How low is my self-esteem that I'm the sidekick in my own fantasy?
TURK [as Batman]: It could be worse. You could be Alfred the butler.
JD [as Alfred]: Damn you, sir.
"A *little* bossy? If Jesus Himself appeared, you'd be telling him where to park his donkey!"
- Laverne, [scrubs]
"With love, there are no rules. The heart decides, and what it decides is all that really matters." - Paulo Coelho, "The Alchemist"
"Who's more foolish: the fool or the fool who follows him?" - Obi Wan Kanobi, Star Wars
"When the whole world fits inside of your arms, do we really need to pay attention to the alarm?" - Jack Johnson, "Banana Pancakes"
"Sometimes you're an angel, but you're usually a pain in the ass." - The Wallflowers
"Honey, those aren't people. Those are models." - Mrs. Rink, 13 Going on 30
"This is a great fairytale like Cinderella, Snow White, and of course the Congressional Deficit Reduction Plan." - Garfield, "Garfield & Friends"
"And remember, people who live in glass houses get embarrassed a lot!" - The Feline Philosopher, "Garfield & Friends"
"And remember, a bird in hand can be very unsanitary!" - The Feline Philosopher, "Garfield & Friends"
"Did you ever have a nightmare that you were a centipede and you had 700 children and you had to buy tap shoes for all of them?" - Wade Duck, "Garfield & Friends"
"Eat and be lazy, kids, and someday you'll have your own show too!" - Garfield, "Garfield & Friends"
"Me? Jog? How long have you been into science fiction, fella?" - Garfield, "Garfield & Friends"
"I got brains! I got so many brains, I ain't even used 'em all yet!" - Rosco Arbuckle, "Garfield and Friends"
"I don't have money in that bank. I don't even use their toasters." - Garfield, "Garfield and Friends"
"I'm having one of those days. Actually, I seem to be having several of those days all at once." - Garfield, "Garfield and Friends"
JENNA: Paul Newman or Robert Redford?
LIZ: I've told you a thousand times. Newman, because I enjoy his salad dressings and lemonade.
- 30 Rock
LIZ: I've got some tricks up my sleeve.
JACK: Thatta girl!
LIZ: No, the cereal.. [shakes Trix out of sleeve]
- 30 Rock
"Frank, you can't just be gay for one person! ..Unless you're a lady, and you meet Ellen." - Liz Lemon, "30 Rock"
JACK: It's so embarrassing!
ELISA: More embarrassing than your CD collection? I never knew Michael Buble had so many albums.
- 30 Rock
JACK: Jenna, have you been drinking?
JENNA: No, Jack. I mean, I had a bottle of wine for dinner.
JACK: Can I smell your mouth?
JENNA: I thought you'd never ask!
- 30 Rock
"My grandpappy used to tell me great hammer stories... World 7-1, that was his 'hood." - Hamma Jamma, Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
"The world is held together by the love and compassion of a very few people." - James Baldwin
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
"Where I'm from, we believe all sorts of things that aren't true. We call it history." - The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, "Wicked"
"I am the Hillary Clinton of Uno." - CJ Maciejeski during the 2008 presidential primary campaign
"And two months later, Versace was dead." - Emma Pillsbury, "Glee"
"I hate those women! I want to put them in a bag and shake it and see who comes out first and who comes out last." - My grandma on soap opera characters
HEATHER: I needed that 1 to win. YOU'REE CHEATIIINGGG!
ME: And who are you? Oprah!?
"They stabbed a chicken nugget with a Sharpie! These are bad people." - Claire Foster, "Date Night"
"I'm sorry, Jeremy, but I have to go home now and fart into a shoebox." - Claire Foster, "Date Night"
VERONICA: You're always so moral. Do birds and mice dress you in the morning?
LINDA: No! ..But my dad does call me Princess, and I do have a grumpy dwarf in my building..
- Better Off Ted
"Oh, and change that answering machine message. Nobody wants to listen to 'Margaritaville' for five minutes." - Murphy Brown