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34 Menlo Park, CA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 30-50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Nov 23
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
5' 3" (1.60m)
Body Type
Not at all
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids but wants them
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hilarious but sadly true synopsis of online dating:
"Guys worry about whether the girl's gonna look like her pictures.
Girls worry about whether they're going to die."

Read below to see why I'm shaking my head and lmao at msgs like this:
Grebo_guru: "At minimum 5'10 but you're 5'3.?Fuck off and starve, bitch. And go get some fucking breasts implants while you're at it, you flat-chested piglet."

Axiom1987: "Even if a man met any of your qualities, would he wana be with you. Men HATE women like you who think you deserve to make demands. These man 5'10 who are this and that, they'll come into your life convince you they love you, fuck you and leave. You know why? They have no respect for women like you. You'll be on OKC in 10 years when your demands either have shortened or you've gotten psycho."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
-collecting degrees like they're going out of style.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-being self-reliant and handy around the house. I changed the brake pads of my bff's car. Not bad for a chick. Let's face it, not bad for a dude. I've also been changing my own oil and filter since university when I asked the most fantastic person I know (besides my mother) to show me how.

-living a minimalist life, gardening, kissing (I can't believe I just wrote that. But how's it that I can't bring myself to delete it? C'est la vie.)

-cheering for the Broncos #18, cooking, batting cages. I'm more adrenaline junkie than bystander.

-Done it: P90X, Solo sky-diving, bungee jumping, ziplining, parasailing, outdoor rock climbing (Malibu was beautiful), shooting range
Update Sept 2015: just did archery in Golden Gate Park near the beach (37th and Fulton, I think) thx to PM. Note to self: next time, R 2nd MCP protection.

Want to do:
-Clay shooting
-Climbing (more and only w/ someone who's climbing >= 5.11. Sorry I'm not good enough to take anyone out on his first climb)
-Skateboarding but without smashing up my face or busting out my teeth, or sustaining any fx
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
-my laugh

-my Pocahantas hair.
It gets the chop every 2 years which I donate to Locks of Love, a program that makes wigs out of human hair for kids who lost theirs to chemo, burns, genetics, etc. (sidebar: Pls consider telling someone you know who has too much hair--at least 10"--re: this wonderful prgm)

*Aug 2015 update: hair back to nl after a premature chop in May 2014.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Flicks: The Big Lebowski, O Brother, Where Art Thou
-Auntie Mame, Pillow Talk, The Philadelphia Story
-The Talk of the Town, Bringing Up Baby
-Maltese Falcon, An Affair to Remember, My Fair Lady
-Just saw Gone Girl--clever

Music: Nina Simone (actual saw her live performance shortly before she passed away), Coldplay, DMB, Louis Armstrong, Vanessa Mae, Al Green, Keane, Adele, Sia

Radio: NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me; Fresh Air; Car Talk; Science Friday (or any day of the wk); etc.

Magazines: Dwell, Family Handyman, This Old House

Food: spicy and healthy. Hold the cilantro please.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
-All things Gummi
-Lip Medex
-Toothbrush and dental floss
-hair bands (see above for why)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
-How to simplify my life by continually reducing my dependence on material things and living sustainably

-How to help others overcome obstacles and life challenges to be independent, healthy, educated, and prosperous

-How to acquire some amazing land in Kailua and begin a self-sustaining local community farm complete with chickens, a couple of pigs and goats, a cow, and a horse
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you are or possess:
-at minimum, 5'10" and at least 35 yr of wisdom and patience
-HILARIOUS, WITTY. I make you laugh, you make me double-over. That's when the sparks fly.
-PATIENT, Kind, Thoughtful (not just to me or when I'm looking but even to the cleaning crew and cafeteria ppl)
-fine verbal agility but not in an unctuous, Eddie Haskel-like way


You aren't passive-aggressive, moody, or fanatical about anything. No DSM-IV (well, now DSM-V) criteria. I can spot this a mile away and I will be gone w/o thinking twice.


You posted *clear*, relevant, current pictures of your face and outline. By "clear," I should be able to pick you out of a lineup. Seriously, what is anyone supposed to do with pictures of your pets, half of your face that's hidden by x (x=sunglasses, a hat, an animal, your hand, ppl, etc) or of your back?


You can laugh at some of my absurd responses. I don't do deadpan (I laugh way too much) but I don't do smileys and sheet like that either.