35 Menlo Park, CA
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My self-summary
Hilarious but sadly true synopsis of online dating:
"Guys worry about whether the girl's gonna look like her pictures.
Girls worry about whether they're going to die."

Read these msgs to see why I'm LMAO:
Grebo_guru: "At minimum 5'10 but you're 5'3.? [sic] Fuck off and starve, bitch. And go get some fucking breasts implants while you're at it, you flat-chested piglet."

Axiom1987: "Even if a man met any of your qualities, would he wana [sic] be with you. Men HATE women like you who think you deserve to make demands. These man [sic] 5'10 who are this and that, they'll come into your life[,] convince you they love you, fuck you[,] and leave. You know why? They have no respect for women like you. You'll be on OKC in 10 years when your demands either have shortened or you've gotten [sic] psycho."
What I’m doing with my life
-collecting degrees that end in "D" like they're going out of style.
I’m really good at
-being self-reliant and handy around the house. I changed the brake pads of my bff's car. Not bad for a chick. Let's face it, not bad for a dude. I've also been changing my own oil and filter since university when I asked the most fantastic person I know (besides my mother) to show me how.

-living a minimalist life, gardening, kissing (I can't believe I just wrote that. But how's it that I can't bring myself to delete it? C'est la vie.)

-cheering for the Broncos #18, cooking, batting cages. I'm more adrenaline junkie than bystander.

-Done it: P90X, Solo sky-diving, bungee jumping, ziplining, parasailing, outdoor rock climbing (Malibu was beautiful), shooting range
Update Sept 2015: just did archery in Golden Gate Park near the beach (37th and Fulton, I think) thx to PM. Note to self: next time, R 2nd MCP protection.

Want to do:
-Clay shooting
-Climbing (more and only w/ someone who's climbing >= 5.11. Sorry I'm not good enough to take anyone out on his first climb)
-Skateboarding but without smashing up my face or busting out my teeth, or sustaining any fx
The first things people usually notice about me
-my laugh

-my Pocahantas hair.
It gets the chop every 2 years which I donate to Locks of Love, a program that makes wigs out of human hair for kids who lost theirs to chemo, burns, genetics, etc. (sidebar: Pls consider telling someone you know who has too much hair--at least 10"--re: this wonderful prgm)

*Aug 2015 update: hair back to nl after a premature chop in May 2014.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Flicks: The Big Lebowski, O Brother, Where Art Thou
-Auntie Mame, Pillow Talk, The Philadelphia Story
-The Talk of the Town, Bringing Up Baby
-Maltese Falcon, An Affair to Remember, My Fair Lady
-Just saw Gone Girl--clever

Music: Nina Simone (actual saw her live performance shortly before she passed away), Coldplay, DMB, Louis Armstrong, Vanessa Mae, Al Green, Keane, Adele, Sia

Radio: NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me; Fresh Air; Car Talk; Science Friday (or any day of the wk); etc.

Magazines: Dwell, Family Handyman, This Old House

Food: spicy and healthy. Hold the cilantro please.
The six things I could never do without
-All things Gummi
-Lip Medex
-Toothbrush and dental floss
-hair bands (see above for why)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
-How to simplify my life by continually reducing my dependence on material things and living sustainably

-How to help others overcome obstacles and life challenges to be independent, healthy, educated, and prosperous

-How to acquire some amazing land in Kailua and begin a self-sustaining local community farm complete with chickens, a couple of pigs and goats, a cow, and a horse
You should message me if
you are or possess:
-at minimum, 5'10",
-at least 35 yr of wisdom and patience
-HILARIOUS, WITTY. I make you laugh, you make me double-over. That's when the sparks fly.
-PATIENT, Kind, Thoughtful (not just to me or when I'm looking but even to the cleaning crew and cafeteria ppl)
-fine verbal agility but not in an unctuous, Eddie Haskel-like way


You aren't passive-aggressive, moody, or fanatical about anything. No DSM-IV (well, now DSM-V) criteria. I can spot this a mile away and I will be gone w/o thinking twice.


You posted *clear*, relevant, current pictures of your face and outline. By "clear," I should be able to pick you out of a lineup. Seriously, what is anyone supposed to do with pictures of your pets, half of your face that's hidden by x (x=sunglasses, a hat, an animal, your hand, ppl, etc) or of your back?


You can laugh at some of my absurd responses. I don't do deadpan (I laugh way too much) but I don't do smileys and sheet like that either.