Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello plebeians, I'm just your average fat shaming, meat-eating,
slut shaming cis-male (not really, I'm actually a fan of sluts). 23
year old student of questionable morality, studying to become a
corporate drone. I am pretty vulgar at times and my sense of humor
can be found offensive. I'm joking most of the time so don't take
me seriously, I never take myself seriously either. I am also
severely lacking in shame. Primarily German and Lebanese (Allahu
Ackbar heil Hitler... be scared Jews).
I'm not a very interesting person, but let's be honest here;
neither are you!
I never refuse a homeless person a cigarette if i have one.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I hunt unicorns for their blood and ivory.
I spend too much time reading news.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
making you mad
making da ladies swoon
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
my aura of overwhelming doom
my voice is also really deep
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Hueg metal fan (doom, black, death, thrash)
I'm also into jazz (I've had a huge boner for Tokyo club jazz
recently), old hip hop, blues, post rock, funk, classic rock, soul,
some electronica and punx
I would list some bands, but you've probably never
heard of them. (you're not hip enough
I'm really into tacos and burritos.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
my sense of unwarranted self importance
dat sticky icky herb
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits
and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic
society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society
constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power
of our country. ...We are governed, our minds are molded, our
tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never
heard of. This is a logical result of the way in which our
democratic society is organized. Vast numbers of human beings must
cooperate in this manner if they are to live together as a smoothly
functioning society. ...In almost every act of our daily lives,
whether in the sphere of politics or business, in our social
conduct or our ethical thinking, we are dominated by the relatively
small number of persons...who understand the mental processes and
social patterns of the masses. It is they who pull the wires which
control the public mind.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm either being a loner playing games or out somewhere polluting
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I was born on the winter solstice. Dark and mysterious enough for
My eyebrows are sexier than yours and I don't even pluck or trim
And I rate everyone 5 stars ;)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're interested in buying weapons from me after the apocalypse.
if you want to try to escape the plantation with me. or if you
think you're cool and need someone to put you in your place. if you
are aubrey plaza. if you know what realpolitik means. or if you
want to learn olympic fencing.
don't message me if you're an opiate addict. seriously, you are
inhuman scum. stay the fuck away from me.
BONUS ROUND: if you recognize the bernays quote up there.
Who are you looking for?
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